Mo Solo (The lonely goatherd)

blogsense

2006-08-27T04:15:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I blogged... yayy. But, everytime I checked my own blog (once every couple of months...eh), always felt that the first post was too depressing. So here's a different post... coz I am not depressed. I'm a happy guy.
especially as I now own a car:D

I just got back from a looong drive. 4am. slightly misty outside as it had rained all yesterday. Was awesome:-D. Just drove out along some backroads...got lost... and came back. It was beautiful:-D
compare it to traffic on Indian roads:-S

Of course..I miss Indian traffic too... but I always remember those long drives I took along the coast of the town where I was born. Today reminded me of that
:-D

yayy for golden memories:-)

to blog or not.......

2005-11-12T20:50:00.000-05:00

I feel disillusioned. I want to blog... but I am tired of doing the same old things. I repeat myself way too often...

So

this blog...is probably best explored by checking out my fav posts through the drop down list to the left. I don't think I can better those.
If I do feel inspired someday, I'll put them up too:)

:)

-Mohan.

Skirts

2005-09-28T05:36:00.000-05:00

well... I never did get around to completing those posts that I was tagged for...one by Lisa.. another by Vidhur... sorry girls...I guess I don't like tags.

Now, I stopped blogging as I was sick and tired of my dad telling me that I was wasting time blogging. But today, I find myself in the enviable position of being incommunicado with my dad (if that's the right word for it). I simply find this a better way of loving him. Better to smile and stay silent than open your mouth and make things worse. True for so many things.

Well..I was just watching a movie. You've got Mail. Yep. This is such a lovely movie. It's got Meg Ryan in one of those sweet cute roles and she wears such wonderful outfits. I love her in those long skirts... that so seem to be out of fashion nowadays. I loove those long skirts. It's a pity that so few women seem to wear them around here. And then...Tom Hanks has Brinkley... that adorable Golden Retriever. The scene where Tom Hanks is pacing back and forth trying to decide if he should email Meg Ryan after she insults him in the cafe.....I love the dog following him around. You can hear the clicking of his feet on the wooden floor... makes me want to get a dog:(.

update:
I'm back at college for grad school now.

I loved you for a while

2005-08-18T02:53:00.000-05:00

and now I'm moving on.

I don't think I will be posting here any more. I might ...just jot a couple of things once in a while... but not regularly...or even close to regularly.

though feel free to email me

m rokkam ate gmail doit com

(figure that out;) )

later folks
-Mohan.

of tomatoes and more

2005-06-03T00:54:00.000-05:00

Okays....

if u have noticed..I have this wonderful background colour for my blog now. Can u believe it.. it's called 'tomato'!!! Yayy for tomatoes. Speaking of which, I experimented with my cooking skills on my poor unsuspecting dad. I made tomato dal (a kind of tomato-lentil ....errm... for lack of a better word... soup.) and fried potatoes. yeah baby... it came out decently good!!!

and this despite not sleeping all night.
which I have managed to do yet again... 2nd night in a row.
so.. landed here... slept for 12 hrs... up all night... nap for 4 hrs... up all night. My dad is kinda upset :-p
mwuahahahahahahahahaha

blogging away without passion

2005-06-01T20:54:00.000-05:00

Ahh... to be passionate about something. I really sincerely doubt that I am passionate about something. I mean, I do things because I have to, or because I want to..or even because I need to. But I don't recollect doing something because I am passionate about it. Isn't that weird? Or is it sad?

Today, I was reading this article by Kumaramangalam Birla (The head of the Aditya Birla group, one of the larger business houses in India). It is an article on smart managing.. and he talks of two different kind of people in a company. The 70% that go through life following rules, meeting deadlines, and basically drudging through work without worrying. Then there is the other 30% that break the rules and are high flying. Am I in that boring 70%, so essential to a firm, but...oh so boring? I feel a certain lack of passion that makes me feel that it is so. Or is it just a temporary lack of interest that makes me feel no passion. I mean, I do my bit. I just don't feel the need to go above and beyond my normal life to do something just because I am passionate about it.

And then, there is my inherent fear of commitment. No folks, not when it comes to women.. I fear committing my time. I don't join clubs because I am afraid that sometime in the future, I will feel the need to do something else and the club will keep me away from it. I am talking about semester long commitments here. A day, or even a week, I can do things just fine. What is this fear?

random link as my mind deviates: Autoblogger (originally linked from Lisa's blog.

I finished "The Three Musketeers" today. It's a wonderful story of love, intrigue, passion, revenge and hatred that I have really enjoyed. It would probably come under the category of "bestseller" if written today (something that my dear friend Vanishing often says is just not worth reading). The book also had an interested foreward and a rough idea of the life of Alexander Dumas (the author), his methodology of writing this book, and a little bit of history too about 17th centure France in which period of time, the book is based. The reprint also points out some parts where Dumas referred to objects that only came into existence in the 18th or 19th centuries. This brings me to the movie Veer Zara, a long winded Hindi movie that is partially set in the 60's or 70's. I noticed that there were objects in the movie that were not in existence at that time. I mean, one simply did not have Deluxe Volvo buses in India in the 1960's or 70's. There were plenty of other such instances which kinda made the movie seem unrealistic. And then I remembered how directors had spent millions to recreate scenarios realistically. Maybe one calls it art...or passion... and others call it foolishness.

My heart throbs ever so often... in pain and in fear... but it shall hold out for life is something that is to be faced with a song on one's lips and a smile on one's face. Let my song be Dido's White Flag.

It's 6am and I promised my dad I would cook something for lunch. Maybe it will be good for me to cook it now.. and then go to sleep. For I can wake up and warm it up for him. After all I need to serve him, my father, my hero, my teacher and my enemy.
So, I leave you with this rhyme. I often hum this tune, without thought, when I am deeply engrossed...
"Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream."

Abu Dhabi Ahoy

2005-05-31T15:46:00.000-05:00

awrighty folks!! It's paartee time.
yep.. 33 hours after I left my aunt's place in Chicago, here I am in the city of Abu Dhabi.. safe and sound.. and EVEN ONLINE!!! yayy for that. Not that it has been completely uneventful

first of all, when I went to the airport to return the car, I realized that the firm that I had rented the car from (enterprise) wasn't available at the standard airport location. Not knowing the location, I parked at a reasonable spot and called the 1-800 number to be given the local branch's number (This being Memorial day, not many people were up and working in the US :-S). But darn it.. calling the branch only sent me to this voice mail that said the branch was closed. DARN IT. My flight was in 2.5 hours!!! (I had started a bit early.. giving me plenty of time...) I called up enterprise 2-3 times. I guess that there were like 3 people working all the phone lines. One time, I got hung up on.. another time, I was told to just find the place as it was shown as 'open'. So, I parked the car at a hotel parking lot on the way and asked a cabbie. This guy, a sweet eastern european guy (I guess...from his accent), told me the way. So, off I went.. and his directions being so good, I managed to find it pretty quickly. The shuttle driver that dropped me off was also very nice. He actually refused a tip from some people (Now now now...I am still a college student!!! don't expect me to give tips like that!!) And he helped ppl with their luggage. All in all, a good experience.

now... came the fun part. Travel!!! Checking in took no time... the first flight went by pretty quickly too. This high school girl sat next to me.. she wasn't much of a talker...but she did chat a bit just before we landed. maybe she was scared of my moustache.
ooh... then came a 7 hour layover in Cincinnati. 7 hours!!! for a while, I sat in an empty corner of the terminal. I mean.. there was almost NOONE there... as there were no flights there for a few hours. All this time, I has some good company in Dumas' "The Three Musketeers". Then.. an 8 hr flight to London Gatwick. This was kinda painful..I did think that Delta had better aircraft but this one was slightly cramped. The guy next to me was this tallish Oriental guy who looked even more uncomfortable than me. A quick halt in London Gatwick where I decided to walk rather than use the moving sidewalks. It was a long walk but good exercise between sitting still for ages. Emirates was a nice flight from London to Dubai. The flight got a bit delayed.... but not by too much. I was bout 300 pages into the Three Musketeers now (out of around 700). And to top it off, sitting next to me was this really charming old British couple.. coming to Dubai to visit their son. Very friendly, jocular and helpful. It was nice. And really sweet to see them. The gentleman was telling me as to how emirates was one of the best airlines he had flown in, and considering his age and the places he mentioned that he travelled to, I am sure that he was well qualified to make that statement. And I agreed. There was plenty of leg space, even more than I remembered from earlier. I watched "In Good Company" for a while and then was sleeping on and off.. and eating food..and reading...and before too long, was in Abu Dhabi. was out of the airport in around half an hour!!! That WAS quick. Drove down to Abu Dhabi.. and here I am.

I love flying for one main reason. The views can be spectacular. I got a window seat on my flight from London to Dubai and it was so beeyootIful. We flew over green cities... quaint towns with plenty of houses... seas and rivers....small undulating hills...sand dunes stretching for miles... seas bordered by yellow strips of coastlines... rivers. Then there are the majestic clouds. But my best memory is that of another aeroplace.. zooming through the sky.. flying towards us. The speed is just so incredible. You can see the stream of water vapor that they leave behind them... and you get a good idea of the speed of aircraft from that angle. Oh My. Thank goodness that the aeroplane was flying at a different altitude. It was Lovely.

now, I better go freshen up...

moments... that's what life is made up of... moments and experiences

2005-05-29T20:58:00.000-05:00

moments... that's what life is made up of... moments and experiences

well..today had it's share of moments .. and experiences. I spent some quality time with the tv. And then came a distant cousin...so out to dinner. Then on to meeting another friend. By the time I got home, it was pretty late. Well, anyways.. the moments were all in the meetings. The experience came later. I got home.. put the car in "park", started taking out the books that were in it (a road atlas and a book I bought for the journey... "The Three Musketeers". And I lock the car.. step out.. and close the door..realizing a few seconds later that the car was still running and that I was locked out. Luckily, I had the garage door opener out too..so I come in, call up enterprise (where I had rented the car from).. and they sent a guy over...to unlock it free of charge!! (or maybe it was free as I had taken out the insurance....something like that). Anyways.. it was really nice. And it was an experience. I now know how it's done. But the scary part was how easy it was to unlock the car. Just a wedge, and a little lever... and voila.. the car's open!!!(under 30 seconds....!!!)

and I leave tomm morning. Yay!!

I am a DOG

2005-05-29T00:52:00.000-05:00

Yeah... I am a dog..or atleast I must have the tracking abilities of a dog. I mean..how else can u explain this. I wanted to eat Burger king for dinner (yummmmy onion rings). I was in Lisle and I had no clue where the nearest Burger king was. So...I head out... along a main road.. and take a random turn onto another main road.. (after crossing a few main roads in between).. and woah....I see a Burger King by the side. I am like... wooooow...groooovy. I mean.. I didn't even make one complete circle...
So..I went in and got the onion rings (Ohhh THEY ROCK!! especially with the zesty sauce). Then... bought some stuff to take back home, came back, packed.. and here I am online,... relating my experiences.

I am also such a fool. I drove down to Purdue.. expecting someone to be there. I call ppl once i reach the place... and noone answers..so..I hang around for an hour. Really get bored.. and head back before it gets too late and I am too tired to drive back. On the way...ppl call saying..OOoh..sorry...:-|. Oh well... am back in Chicago now. Did manage to get stuff done. and am now dead tired
must sleep early.. must not die.. must sleep early.
Awrighty ppl...gooniite

Travelling and trekking

2005-05-27T23:27:00.000-05:00

I am heading out on Monday for India..my homeland.. and the land of my dreams.

I want to go trekking...travelling... seeing things.. smell the sweet stink of home sweet home.. and enjoyying myself with family, friends and others..

Well.. just wanted to post a quick post but my mind is too blank. As usual, I packed at the last minute (though I kept everything ready....beforehand). Now.. just a little more work.. and I can head back.

count up...count down...count up...count down....count sheep...count lizards...count bleh... enough. Babyeee. Gotta sleep early and be up earlyyy

Embarrassed?

2005-05-23T02:32:00.000-05:00

Yeah... today was kinda embarrassing. I went with my nieces to this place where they were dancing. It was supposed to some Indian people's event.. and I was thinking it was like one of the other one's where my nieces had danced at. Plenty of Indians... dressed casual-semi-formal.. And since it's been a while since I had done my laundry...I was in a round-neck T shirt and jeans. Yeah. T-shirt and Jeans. And guess what I saw the moment I entered there. It was a "special" thingie.. with tickets (donation?) at around 35 bucks and most people wearing suits and all. And the secretary of state was the chief guest (A Mr. Jesse White:-S~). Ahh.. felt so overdressed;). Yeah. Oh well.. I very well could not go back and change. I should thank the family-friend for going out of his way to make me feel comfy. Yeah.....

but my nieces danced well and it was fun. They got so hyper that they continued dancing on the floor all through the food. Speaking of which.. the food was goooooood. And after a potluck lunch... Oh man..I'm growing a fattt!!! :-S. Gotta controlll ..keep those oreos away from meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Mo Solo (The lonely goatherd)

2005-05-19T02:54:00.000-05:00

Ok..

My last few posts have been pretty dry

but some stuff has been going on in my life ... so..first.. the updates

I managed to get admitted to Purdue's grad school for a masters. Now, I do not have any aid.. but what I do have is an admission. So, I intend to travel to India for my cousin's wedding, travel around a bit, get back and work my a$$ off. So, I leave this month end for India. It's going to be an interesting trip. I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that things go well. The way that things have gone in the past, I don't expect anything to work out smoothly. I will have to adjust and see how things get along. But all said and done, things should get along well.

So, the past few weeks... what have I been doing? I went to Purdue a few times... worked on getting the paperwork done so I can return to Purdue, applied for various TA positions, etc. I am still applying for jobs. What can I say...I have hope... but one never knows:)

Today was an interesting day. I needed to go to across the city to Devon Avenue to sign for, and pick up my tickets. I thought that it would be too much work for my cousin to take me in the middle of the week, the place being a good one hour drive from her home. So, I decided to explore the city by myself. Of course, I knew that a train went pretty close there...so it wasn't really heading out into the blue. So, I took a book (very appropriately, I am currently reading "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer". Aye, it was an adventure that I set out on. Though I initially planned on leaving at 7am when my uncle left for work, I stayed up too late (reading) and also decided that it wasn't worth it to push my way along during rush hour. And since the baby sitter would be around all day (even though the nieces went off to school), I decided to just relax and ask her to drop me off at the local train station.
So, I set off around noon. The first train dropped me off at Downtown Chicago by around 1:30 pm. It was a longish ride (being a slow mid-day train), but I read a bit and mostly dozed off. There were also some good looking women on the train that managed to keep me occupied when I was awake;)

Then, I started for the next train station, around 5 blocks away, at a brisk pace. As I was walking, my stomach rumbled a small complaint and I decided to look out for a good place to eat at. And Voila...I passed by a Jimmy Johns (one of my favourite sandwich places). However, the sandwich that I ordered wasn't how I liked it....bah. Well, onwards ho to the subway train station. I reached there, figured out how to get a ticket, and walked in (with some minor difficulties at the entrance to get in ..) The...ON the subway... wheeeee!!! another half an hour (while the subway went from below ground to being suspended above ground)... and I was almost at the end of my journey. Now to find my way to Devon Avenue. With my book firmly clenched in my hands, I set out...
walkity walkity walk.... hum ho walking I go.....1 block...2 blocks... 10 block...I walked for half an hour... and reached the end of my journey. I entered the room to meet my travel agent... she wasn't exactly how I had pictured her from her voice.. but hey..I'm just a kid right? What do I know?
10 mins later, ticket in hand, wallet empty of a few hundred dollars, I set back...this time I did not waver... nor did I have to ask for directions. My way down, I kept looking at buildings to figure out the building number and figure out how far away I was. (A trick that I learnt in India when I was exploring new places. I would look at store signboards. Most places included the address below the name of the shop... which let me know the name of the locality). But now, I just walked like in a trance. Just thinking random thoughts.. and just wanting to get back in time for my cousin to pick me up....and back on the train...reading..and waiting... walk walk walk back through downtown...(rush hour pedestrian traffic).. back on the train to the suburbs (express train this time).. and by 6pm was back!!!

another day gone by...in a rush...

Hmmm.. enough said for this post

wonder who reads this anymore...you shld leave a comment or something:)

nothing

2005-05-15T18:21:00.000-05:00

yeah... see.. nothing going on...so nothing to write..or something like that

will be updating soon enough:D

noses and more

2005-05-10T22:59:00.000-05:00

Okies...
I HAD to blog about this. Some people might find it gross.. but oh well. People find many natural things gross:-D

Well.. coming to the point,

today, I was looking at myself in the mirror and noticed this humongous hair in my nostril. And when I say Humongous, I don't mean that it was loong. it was a bit longer than the rest.. but it was FAT and BLACK and ... really really stiff. So, i cut it off and took a closer look at it. Sheesh. it scared me. It was as fat as 2-3 of my normal hairs.. even thicker than my moustache hair. I mean.. it was THICK. Oh well.. now that aberrant hair has been put in it's place.. and my nostril looks a bit .. cleaner.

Well, back to my normal life.. I went to Purdue to see off some friends... and find out stuff about my admission
I drove back Indian style... dropping 2 friends off at the airport with all their luggage (ended up filling one side of the back seat with suitcases.. the trunk was packed.. etc etc etc)
I also managed to catch a cold/cough. So.. my cure... any phlegm.. spit it out first thing. This clears my throat and nose... faster... So I sorta feel better today. And of course, eat well no matter what. As my mom keeps saying.. "Feed a cold and starve a fever

Other than that... just hoping/dreaming of my India trip.

more personality tests

2005-05-04T22:54:00.000-05:00

I was sitting here... getting bored.. especially as noone seems to comment on my blog anymore. Anyways.. I was sitting here and I thought.. why not take some personality tests...

here's what it said

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	80%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Empathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|	16%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|	16%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|	16%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Food indulgent	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Paranoia	\|\|	10%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|	10%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test

Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..

Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

------------------

But the most important was this
trait snapshot:
messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture

thought I pretty much answered the questions directly...

lets see...some more tests?

Advanced Big 45 Personality Test Results

Gregariousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Sociability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Poise	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Leadership	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Provocativeness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Self-Disclosure	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Talkativeness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Group Attachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	72%
Understanding	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Warmth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Morality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Pleasantness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Empathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Cooperation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Sympathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Tenderness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Nurturance	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Friendliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	64%
Conscientiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Efficiency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Purposefulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Organization	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Rationality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Planning	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Happiness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Moderation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Toughness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Impulse Control	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Imperturbability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Cool-headedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Tranquility	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Ingenuity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Reflection	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Competence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Quickness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Introspection	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Creativity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Imagination	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Depth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	57%

Take Free Advanced Big 45 Personality Test

and the key is

Factor		low score	high score
Gregariousness	82%	quiet, reclusive	engaging, socially bold
Sociability	78%	withdrawn, hidden	warm, open, inviting
Assertiveness	70%	timid, gunshy	controlling, aggressive
Poise	74%	uneasy around others	socially comfortable
Leadership	54%	stays in background	prefers to lead
Provocativeness	62%	modest, plays it safe	bold, uninhibited, cocky
Self-Disclosure	86%	private, contained	very open and revealing
Talkativeness	74%	quiet, stealthy, invisible	motor mouth, loud
Group Attachment	70%	loves solitude	prefers to be with others
Understanding	74%	insensitive, schizoid	respectful, sympathetic
Warmth	50%	disinterested in others	supportive, helpful
Morality	78%	break/ignore the rules	play by the rules
Pleasantness	74%	aloof or disagreeable	gets along with others
Empathy	54%	out of tune w/ others	in tune with others
Cooperation	58%	competitive, warlike	agreeable, peaceful
Sympathy	58%	socially inconsiderate	socially conscious
Tenderness	66%	cold hearted, selfish	warm hearted, selfless
Nurturance	70%	self pleasing, me first	people pleasing, me last
Conscientiousness	70%	reckless, unscheduled	careful, planner
Efficiency	58%	unreliable, lazy	finisher, follows through
Dutifulness	58%	leisurely, derelict	strict, rule abiding
Purposefulness	50%	inattentive, undisciplined	prepared, focused
Organization	70%	relaxed, oblivious	detail oriented, anal
Cautiousness	54%	impulsive, spendthrift	restrained, cautious
Rationality	74%	irrational, random	direct, logical
Perfectionism	54%	careless, error prone	detail obsessed
Planning	38%	disorganized, random	scheduled, clean
Stability	78%	easily frustrated	calm, cool, unphased
Happiness	70%	unhappy, dissatisfied	self content, positive
Calmness	74%	touchy, volatile	even tempered, tolerant
Moderation	58%	needs instant gratification	easily delays gratification
Toughness	74%	hypersensitive, moody	thick skinned
Impulse Control	54%	lacks self control	maintains composure
Imperturbability	66%	highly emotional	emotionally contained
Cool-headedness	62%	demanding, controlling	accommodating
Tranquility	62%	emotionally volatile	emotionally neutral
Intellect	42%	instinctive, non-analytical	intellectual, analytical
Ingenuity	54%	lacks new ideas	innovative, novel
Reflection	54%	unreflective, coarse	art and beauty lover
Competence	90%	slow to understand/think	intellectual, brainy
Quickness	78%	intellectually dependent	intellectually independent
Introspection	38%	not self reflective	self searching
Creativity	78%	dull headed	synthesizer, iconoclast
Imagination	50%	practical, realistic	dreamer, unrealistic
Depth	30%	lacks curiosity	mental explorer

Take Free Advanced Big 45 Personality Test

A series of unfortunate events

2005-05-03T01:06:00.000-05:00

"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place. But believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact, be the first steps of a journey. "

Saw this very interesting movie. A bit depressing at times I should say.. but the movie ended on a positive note. Having 2 nieces, i do know that there are 13 books in the series, out of which, 11 have been written. I don't think I can begin reading the series till all 13 are written. Oh god, the suspense would kill me. Not that I cannot handle it.. but the movie is just written (yeah.. the movie IS written) in such a despairing tone, that it kinda makes one cling onto every ounce of hope, and you know.. that kind of sad stories are not for me. I mean, this is not the right time or the correct place. I mean, I have a bunch of serious, possibly thought provoking movies that I have yet to see, but have not only because of a strange foreboding that watching such movies will not be too good for me.

Speaking of which, i was trying to read "The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne.. and the first few pages kept putting me to sleep. However, hope abides. I have found "The Godfather" at the local public library. A book that I have been intending to read for the past many MANY years, but which was never available at Purdue (Their copy was stolen.. those darned *&^$@&^%$ socks?). So, yeah... that's going to entertain me for a while. I also went to the mall this weekend and bought myself some books. A book collection for my kids (and myself) that I have started today. Not exactly today and not exactly for my kids. These are books I have wanted to reread (or read a non-abridged version of) since god knows when. I know that I only got into reading because there were so many books lying about the house (and having parents that encouraged reading helped of course). So, I bought "The adventures of Tom Sawyer", "The Count of Monte Cristo", "The Call of the Wild" and "White Fang". Well bound books, all for the good sale price of 20$. (buy 2 get 1 free hehehehe). And I had purchased a few books last time (though not as well bound.. and not such great books... but good books nevertheless:
"The Great Gatsby", "The Scarlet Letter" (That I will get down to reading eventually), and "O'Henry award winning Short Stories for 2003" (or something like that).

So, that's a start. Lemme see.. what other books do I have. "Siddhartha" and "The Alchemist" gifted to me by a good friend, "Allan Quartermain" (the continuation of King Solomon's mines... that I brought from India), 2 books of short stories by Isaac Asimov gifted to me by my sister, another Sci-Fi book gifted to me by my friends for a birthday (and another Asimov book too I believe.. they did gift me two books... don't recall it that well...bleh..sorry folks). Hmmm.. what else... "Lectures in Physics" by Richard P Feynman gifted to me by my profs at college, I E Irodov (ahh that classic book of Physics problems)... I think that is about all the books that I can care to remember.Oh.. Wait.. I Do have Mahatma Gandhi's "My Experiments with Truth" brought from India.. and a copy or two of the Bhagvad Gita (both gifted to me after I came here). I should also have a copy of the Hanuman Chalisa..and a few other books by Swami Vivekananda and Swami Ramakrishna Paramhamsa. Well well well. now I am beginning to really get boring.

Books.. I simply love books. But there is one thing I will never forget. Each and every exam, I would suffer from a severe case of sniffling, sneezing and nose-dabbing. At least for one day. It was like a known fact. I figured out the reason only recently... Dusty Books!!! Hehehe. I bet my parents will want to kick me now. But I never did too badly.

and I end with the quote from the movie "A series of unfortunate events" with which I began this rather bizzare and random blog

"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place. But believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact, be the first steps of a journey."

Kal Ho Na Ho

2005-05-01T05:39:00.000-05:00

Listening to: "Kal ho na ho"

"Life is like sunlight, changing shape every second.
Sometimes it is dark with shadow..another, it is too bright and sunny
But savour every moment here on this earth....
For one can never be sure of a tomorrow"
(my personal translation of the first verse of the song)

I want to blog something. But my mind is simply too broken to think of anything worthwhile. Maybe the fact that it is almost 6am has something to do with it. Well, it still is going to be a nice day. When I wake up.

well, since I cannot think of anything else, how abt another song that I like?

Johnny Cash: Hurt

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

...
Lyrics

another of my fav songs

Glen Medeiros: Nothing's gonna change my love for you

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Lyrics

Another one...

Frank Sinatra: Strangers in the night

Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wond’ring in the night
What were the chances we’d be sharing love
Before the night was through.

Something in your eyes was so inviting,
Something in you smile was so exciting,
Something in my heart,
Told me I must have you.

Lyrics

Yeah... enough for now:-)

(p.s. I soo love robert miles... I was driving to that music today...so SO SOOO lovely but that's for another day)

Demands

2005-04-30T16:14:00.000-05:00

Ever get the feeling that you don't deserve someone because all you have ever done was demand something from them but never have anything to give back? And you feel that that is so because you just don't know what to give, and all that you CAN give, they already have?

Finding Neverland

2005-04-28T04:06:00.000-05:00

If you believe in fairies, clap your hands

*clap clap*

After all, growing old is compulsory, growing up isn't.

Crazy or what?

2005-04-25T20:38:00.000-05:00

Ok... back to Chicago. Caught a train back to Chicago Prettty early in the morning. Anyways... the trip was pretty uneventful... I finished reading "Interpreter of Maladies" by Jhumpa Lahiri and realized that she has a pretty standard theme to most of her stories. They tend to revolve around academics, many of whom end up studying at MIT or similar institutions.. and their kids. Darned brilliant folk eh!! And she is pretty darned cynical about love and marriage. So.. that's the negative part. But maybe she is too much or a realist.. unlike me. I like to believe in all things being good and nice and that everyone (or almost everyone) is a great person.

Which makes this kinda funny as I now go on to make fun of this guy I saw on the train down to Chicago. He was this guy with a small CUUUTE smiley baby sitting two rows in front of me.. and talking across the aisle with another lady... about STAR WARS!!! Yep... that's right. he was a Star Wars nut. I mean... the whole 'Planters nuts' deal. He had read the star wars books and the comics, collected various figures.. played many star wars games (on the computer and in real life...) and so on.. and so forth. Not that it is anything bad... but I just found it interesting that someone can be THAT interested in a movie or a book and that a simple story can cause people to get that deep into something. I mean.. it isn't even real.. and he is talking of jedi moves and people 'learning' Jedi moves...
But then again... I have friends that are big into role-playing games (no no.. not THAT kind of role playin... just dressing up as wizards and so on casting spells etc and running around with fake swords etc). I guess it is a kind of way to bring some meaning into your life... find something to do.

Food's good

2005-04-23T06:31:00.000-05:00

Went for lunch to Fazoli's. MmMMmmmm. Good food. And it was darned cheap too...especially this one dish that my friend showed me. Ate a lot. And as she said...the chocolate cake was reallly yummy. Too bad I was too stuffed to eat more than a bite. Bah.

Went to the lafayette brewing company for dinner with HKN (The Purdue EE honor society) (some friends in it actually...I never joined the society...it wasn't worth the effort) Decent food.

went bowling in the evening. I scored the lowest...BUT
My ruby ring (which is normally a dark opaquish maroonish red) glowed blood red under blacklight (UV ehh).
Wicked!!

Saw Napolean Dynamite. so so movie.
up till too late...now. 6:40 am...and I just had a shower as my hair felt icky. Bah.. have to wait till it dries out completely....

Dil Kehta hain...chal unse mil..uthte hi kadam...rukh jaate hain...
hum dil ko kabhi samjhaate hain...dil humko kabhi samjhaati hain
(hindi song lyrics... translated as... My heart tells me..go visit her..but my foot halts even before I get up.
Sometimes...it is the heart that consoles us... at other times, we have to console our hearts)

ri-rick..di-rick

2005-04-20T09:40:00.000-05:00

Trains... that go ri-rick..di-rick... ri-rick di-rick. Swaying gently ... lulling it's passengers in a cocoon of steel. I have always loved trains. The disorganized organization in the stations.. the vendors selling books, food items, toys, chains and locks.. (all this in India of course...). And the 'coolies' The men in red shirts that carry luggage.. arguing with people. The train announcements in three languages.... In the midst of all that excitement, the train waits serenely.. arriving and leaving at it's appointed moment (usually) with no consideration for the shouts and screams of others. One sees people waving through the windows, peering through some searching for their loved ones... running to buy a last minute snack or reading material.

And once we are travelling.. it is another kind of life. Sitting down or sleeping... walking up and down a bit. making friends... or staring at the person sitting next to you or across from you. But most of the time, I would look outside the window. The second class coaches in india have open windows with grilled bars to prevent people from falling out. So, a brisk warm wind blows in most of the time. Of course, if it is raining or too cold, we get to close the window with a glass shutter or a steel shutter with vents.

And we fly past cities and towns... little villages consisting of a few houses, a cow or two grazing in the backyard. Fields after fields...brown, green or black depending on the time of the year. Sometimes, all one sees are rocky plains surrounded by rocky hilld. Some people wave to you. Sometimes, they are busy using the area as an open air bathroom and they rather you were not there to stare at them. But all the time, the train keeps flying past. Not waiting to give me a second glance of something... but like a film at a theatre... moving on all the time.

I spent a lot of time in trains yesterday. I caught a train to Purdue. The soft swaying of the train, the clicking of the wheels as they bounced from one rail to another.. all of it took me far away. And then there was the view from the window. villages and towns....a few lights in the distance...marking the presence of humanity. Trees swept by, dark and morose. Canals and shiny snaking rivers...

The beauty of it all kept me awake.

And then there was the book. 'The Namesake' by Jhumpa Lahiri. A very wonderful book. There were times when I looked up from the book, and away, to stop the onslaught of tears that seemed to be perched at the edge of my eyes. It spoke of love and confusion. Of family and responsibilities. I wanted to call my parents, tell them how much they meant to me, and always have. I have stayed aloof..and yet, I feel so close. Today, I realized that I know nothing of their childhood. Nothing of their actual dreams and desires. Their goals as children. Their lives. I have always assumed that they lived to take care of me and that I was their responsibility and that was that.

I feel awakened and caught in a cage. But I am confident and happy too. It is the knowledge that is important. I am young and flexible..and I do hope that I do not make the mistakes that I have learnt through other people. After all, in a sense, reading a good book means living the life of the characters.

the Godfather

2005-04-19T03:30:00.000-05:00

Hmm.. I have ebooks on a website... the bandwidth limit is 50 gigs.. and in less than 15 days.. with no advertisement AT ALL...(just google indexing it)... 40 gigs have been used up.. so I had to cut it off...

what else...

been applying all over the place for a job. I know I am good, I have the skills and I am motivated. So.. I do hope to get a job soon.

I also want to travel.. see someplace new. Chicago is a great place.. but someplace different.. would be nice:-)

Well.. allergies are catching up. But it's lovely outside. So what if I sneeze a bit..sniffle a wee bit. It's amazing weather:-)

Started on Jhumpa Lahiri's The Namesake...

I don't know why.. but nowadays.. somethings seem to be affecting me more than normal. I always led a pretty distant life from others. I kept them at a distance.. even my parents and sis. I had great respect for them but I somehow felt that I kept them at a distance. I think it was my way of remaining unaffected by other people. My way of leading life with no distractions... But nowadays... reading about the affection for the child by parents... and other such mushy things are making my eyes moist. I mean.. it's like this pang of affection that brings a little bit of moisture to my eyes, a small contriction in my heart .. and it's gone.

"He who fears being conquered is certain of defeat." - Napolean Bonaparte
anyways... with eternal hope
I sign off

I'm lovin' it

2005-04-17T02:06:00.000-05:00

It's a beautiful day
I love spring showers...
I love rain in general.. especially when the weather is nice and warm.. and you hear the pitter patter of raindrops. It takes me back to days gone by... and also brings me into a relaxed mood.
And I love the colours around me. Bright flowers.. entire trees in bloom!!! It really is beautiful.

I am a crazy guy eh. Wishful thinking... dreamy...and absolutely nuts in some respects...but I'm lovin' it (As the latest McDonald's ad goes...) I see some folks and I start putting myself in that position 2.. maybe 5 years from now. I see myself doing stuff...I see someone's face a lot too. As I said...I have become dreamy. But I am happy. And reading is nice.
But..I am becoming a bit too complacent.. getting used to my lifestyle.. NOT GOOD. So.. started working towards changing things:-)

God Bless ya folks... lets all enjoy the beauty that surrounds us and that God has given us (for you women.. that includes guys around you... and of course...I don't need to tell the guys anything;) )
Enjoy!!!

Mo Solo (The lonely goatherd)

blogsense

to blog or not.......

Skirts

I loved you for a while

of tomatoes and more

blogging away without passion

Abu Dhabi Ahoy

moments... that's what life is made up of... moments and experiences

I am a DOG

Travelling and trekking

more random posts

Embarrassed?

Mo Solo (The lonely goatherd)

nothing

noses and more

more personality tests

A series of unfortunate events

Kal Ho Na Ho

Demands

Finding Neverland

Crazy or what?

Food's good

ri-rick..di-rick

the Godfather

I'm lovin' it