And just like that...she's gone

Summer of 2002. I remember that summer quite well. It was the summer I got into the shady world of IRC file sharing.

 It all started in the year 2000. I was frequenting internet cafes late at night trying to research universities in the US. while waiting for pages to load, I would chat on channels like #india. Typing to keep with the flow of text taught me useful keyboard skills.

Fast forward to Purdue. I'm sitting around feeling a little homesick and load up good old mIRC to chat.. and a few short chats later, I'm in the #telugu-movies channel. I made myself comfortable there and over the next few months, I exchanged files and made many friends. I also helped a lot of people troubleshoot their computers and networks (thus getting me interested in computers)

End of summer 2002, I decided to build my own computer. I built a massive mini-tower with a giant Antec case I got from newegg. I still remember having paid around 130$ for that case. Over the next 10 years, this faithful case was constantly upgraded with all kinds of cables, motherboards, DVD drives, hard drives, chips, etc. With 4 external fans and 1 CPU fan, it was quite a loud beast. And it was always on in my bedroom. So much so that the day I turned it off when I was moving, I could not sleep for lack of the white noise.
This case has spent more time in my bedroom than any other "her". And she was definitely a "her". With her moody nature and powerful all consuming allure, there was nothing else she could be.

Today, I got a new dell PC. It cost me a fraction of the price I paid for the old one. It runs so silent I can barely hear it. And it can do everything my old beast could do.

So, I stripped out the hard drives, turned her off and carried her out to the garage for eventual disposal.

And just like that, she's gone.

Nostalgia

Today, I got hit by a bout of nostalgia.
A bout of nostalgia mixed with home-sickness and a wonder at how small this world is. Let me tell you why.

Yesterday was pretty rare and special.
Being the cheapskate reader that I am, I had picked up a couple of 1$ books from the local half-price books (including some by Indian authors). I was flying down to California to meet my sis and so picked up the lightest book of the lot for the trip. A book called "The Marriage Bureau for Rich People" by Farahad Zama.

So, I start reading the book and slowly things start popping out at me. Familiar terms, places, experiences. Before long, I realized that the book was based in my home state. And it did not take me much longer to realize that it was actually based in my hometown. Ahh. That's when it hit me. That nostalgia thing. and home-sickness. And the wonder of this world being such a small place.

Farahad seems to have lived in the same Vizag that I did. He speaks of places I frequented and experiences I enjoyed.

The book itself was pretty good. A chick-flicky book, but not bad.

Well, so it's been 6 years since I blogged last. A lot has changed in my life. A lot of me has changed.
But when I read the book, I just had to write it down. and this seemed like the ideal place...

Maybe I'm back... maybe I'm not. We'll see :)

blogsense

It's been a while since I blogged... yayy. But, everytime I checked my own blog (once every couple of months...eh), always felt that the first post was too depressing. So here's a different post... coz I am not depressed. I'm a happy guy.
especially as I now own a car:D

I just got back from a looong drive. 4am. slightly misty outside as it had rained all yesterday. Was awesome:-D. Just drove out along some backroads...got lost... and came back. It was beautiful:-D
compare it to traffic on Indian roads:-S


Of course..I miss Indian traffic too... but I always remember those long drives I took along the coast of the town where I was born. Today reminded me of that
:-D

yayy for golden memories:-)

to blog or not.......

I feel disillusioned. I want to blog... but I am tired of doing the same old things. I repeat myself way too often...

So

this blog...is probably best explored by checking out my fav posts through the drop down list to the left. I don't think I can better those.
If I do feel inspired someday, I'll put them up too:)

:)

-Mohan.

Skirts

well... I never did get around to completing those posts that I was tagged for...one by Lisa.. another by Vidhur... sorry girls...I guess I don't like tags.

Now, I stopped blogging as I was sick and tired of my dad telling me that I was wasting time blogging. But today, I find myself in the enviable position of being incommunicado with my dad (if that's the right word for it). I simply find this a better way of loving him. Better to smile and stay silent than open your mouth and make things worse. True for so many things.

Well..I was just watching a movie. You've got Mail. Yep. This is such a lovely movie. It's got Meg Ryan in one of those sweet cute roles and she wears such wonderful outfits. I love her in those long skirts... that so seem to be out of fashion nowadays. I loove those long skirts. It's a pity that so few women seem to wear them around here. And then...Tom Hanks has Brinkley... that adorable Golden Retriever. The scene where Tom Hanks is pacing back and forth trying to decide if he should email Meg Ryan after she insults him in the cafe.....I love the dog following him around. You can hear the clicking of his feet on the wooden floor... makes me want to get a dog:(.

update:
I'm back at college for grad school now.

I loved you for a while

and now I'm moving on.

I don't think I will be posting here any more. I might ...just jot a couple of things once in a while... but not regularly...or even close to regularly.

though feel free to email me

m rokkam ate gmail doit com

(figure that out;) )

later folks
-Mohan.

of tomatoes and more

Okays....

if u have noticed..I have this wonderful background colour for my blog now. Can u believe it.. it's called 'tomato'!!! Yayy for tomatoes. Speaking of which, I experimented with my cooking skills on my poor unsuspecting dad. I made tomato dal (a kind of tomato-lentil ....errm... for lack of a better word... soup.) and fried potatoes. yeah baby... it came out decently good!!!

and this despite not sleeping all night.
which I have managed to do yet again... 2nd night in a row.
so.. landed here... slept for 12 hrs... up all night... nap for 4 hrs... up all night. My dad is kinda upset :-p
mwuahahahahahahahahaha

blogging away without passion

Ahh... to be passionate about something. I really sincerely doubt that I am passionate about something. I mean, I do things because I have to, or because I want to..or even because I need to. But I don't recollect doing something because I am passionate about it. Isn't that weird? Or is it sad?

Today, I was reading this article by Kumaramangalam Birla (The head of the Aditya Birla group, one of the larger business houses in India). It is an article on smart managing.. and he talks of two different kind of people in a company. The 70% that go through life following rules, meeting deadlines, and basically drudging through work without worrying. Then there is the other 30% that break the rules and are high flying. Am I in that boring 70%, so essential to a firm, but...oh so boring? I feel a certain lack of passion that makes me feel that it is so. Or is it just a temporary lack of interest that makes me feel no passion. I mean, I do my bit. I just don't feel the need to go above and beyond my normal life to do something just because I am passionate about it.

And then, there is my inherent fear of commitment. No folks, not when it comes to women.. I fear committing my time. I don't join clubs because I am afraid that sometime in the future, I will feel the need to do something else and the club will keep me away from it. I am talking about semester long commitments here. A day, or even a week, I can do things just fine. What is this fear?

random link as my mind deviates: Autoblogger (originally linked from Lisa's blog.

I finished "The Three Musketeers" today. It's a wonderful story of love, intrigue, passion, revenge and hatred that I have really enjoyed. It would probably come under the category of "bestseller" if written today (something that my dear friend Vanishing often says is just not worth reading). The book also had an interested foreward and a rough idea of the life of Alexander Dumas (the author), his methodology of writing this book, and a little bit of history too about 17th centure France in which period of time, the book is based. The reprint also points out some parts where Dumas referred to objects that only came into existence in the 18th or 19th centuries. This brings me to the movie Veer Zara, a long winded Hindi movie that is partially set in the 60's or 70's. I noticed that there were objects in the movie that were not in existence at that time. I mean, one simply did not have Deluxe Volvo buses in India in the 1960's or 70's. There were plenty of other such instances which kinda made the movie seem unrealistic. And then I remembered how directors had spent millions to recreate scenarios realistically. Maybe one calls it art...or passion... and others call it foolishness.

My heart throbs ever so often... in pain and in fear... but it shall hold out for life is something that is to be faced with a song on one's lips and a smile on one's face. Let my song be Dido's White Flag.

It's 6am and I promised my dad I would cook something for lunch. Maybe it will be good for me to cook it now.. and then go to sleep. For I can wake up and warm it up for him. After all I need to serve him, my father, my hero, my teacher and my enemy.
So, I leave you with this rhyme. I often hum this tune, without thought, when I am deeply engrossed...
"Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream."

Abu Dhabi Ahoy

awrighty folks!! It's paartee time.
yep.. 33 hours after I left my aunt's place in Chicago, here I am in the city of Abu Dhabi.. safe and sound.. and EVEN ONLINE!!! yayy for that. Not that it has been completely uneventful


first of all, when I went to the airport to return the car, I realized that the firm that I had rented the car from (enterprise) wasn't available at the standard airport location. Not knowing the location, I parked at a reasonable spot and called the 1-800 number to be given the local branch's number (This being Memorial day, not many people were up and working in the US :-S). But darn it.. calling the branch only sent me to this voice mail that said the branch was closed. DARN IT. My flight was in 2.5 hours!!! (I had started a bit early.. giving me plenty of time...) I called up enterprise 2-3 times. I guess that there were like 3 people working all the phone lines. One time, I got hung up on.. another time, I was told to just find the place as it was shown as 'open'. So, I parked the car at a hotel parking lot on the way and asked a cabbie. This guy, a sweet eastern european guy (I guess...from his accent), told me the way. So, off I went.. and his directions being so good, I managed to find it pretty quickly. The shuttle driver that dropped me off was also very nice. He actually refused a tip from some people (Now now now...I am still a college student!!! don't expect me to give tips like that!!) And he helped ppl with their luggage. All in all, a good experience.

now... came the fun part. Travel!!! Checking in took no time... the first flight went by pretty quickly too. This high school girl sat next to me.. she wasn't much of a talker...but she did chat a bit just before we landed. maybe she was scared of my moustache.
ooh... then came a 7 hour layover in Cincinnati. 7 hours!!! for a while, I sat in an empty corner of the terminal. I mean.. there was almost NOONE there... as there were no flights there for a few hours. All this time, I has some good company in Dumas' "The Three Musketeers". Then.. an 8 hr flight to London Gatwick. This was kinda painful..I did think that Delta had better aircraft but this one was slightly cramped. The guy next to me was this tallish Oriental guy who looked even more uncomfortable than me. A quick halt in London Gatwick where I decided to walk rather than use the moving sidewalks. It was a long walk but good exercise between sitting still for ages. Emirates was a nice flight from London to Dubai. The flight got a bit delayed.... but not by too much. I was bout 300 pages into the Three Musketeers now (out of around 700). And to top it off, sitting next to me was this really charming old British couple.. coming to Dubai to visit their son. Very friendly, jocular and helpful. It was nice. And really sweet to see them. The gentleman was telling me as to how emirates was one of the best airlines he had flown in, and considering his age and the places he mentioned that he travelled to, I am sure that he was well qualified to make that statement. And I agreed. There was plenty of leg space, even more than I remembered from earlier. I watched "In Good Company" for a while and then was sleeping on and off.. and eating food..and reading...and before too long, was in Abu Dhabi. was out of the airport in around half an hour!!! That WAS quick. Drove down to Abu Dhabi.. and here I am.

I love flying for one main reason. The views can be spectacular. I got a window seat on my flight from London to Dubai and it was so beeyootIful. We flew over green cities... quaint towns with plenty of houses... seas and rivers....small undulating hills...sand dunes stretching for miles... seas bordered by yellow strips of coastlines... rivers. Then there are the majestic clouds. But my best memory is that of another aeroplace.. zooming through the sky.. flying towards us. The speed is just so incredible. You can see the stream of water vapor that they leave behind them... and you get a good idea of the speed of aircraft from that angle. Oh My. Thank goodness that the aeroplane was flying at a different altitude. It was Lovely.

now, I better go freshen up...

moments... that's what life is made up of... moments and experiences

moments... that's what life is made up of... moments and experiences

well..today had it's share of moments .. and experiences. I spent some quality time with the tv. And then came a distant cousin...so out to dinner. Then on to meeting another friend. By the time I got home, it was pretty late. Well, anyways.. the moments were all in the meetings. The experience came later. I got home.. put the car in "park", started taking out the books that were in it (a road atlas and a book I bought for the journey... "The Three Musketeers". And I lock the car.. step out.. and close the door..realizing a few seconds later that the car was still running and that I was locked out. Luckily, I had the garage door opener out too..so I come in, call up enterprise (where I had rented the car from).. and they sent a guy over...to unlock it free of charge!! (or maybe it was free as I had taken out the insurance....something like that). Anyways.. it was really nice. And it was an experience. I now know how it's done. But the scary part was how easy it was to unlock the car. Just a wedge, and a little lever... and voila.. the car's open!!!(under 30 seconds....!!!)

and I leave tomm morning. Yay!!

I am a DOG

Yeah... I am a dog..or atleast I must have the tracking abilities of a dog. I mean..how else can u explain this. I wanted to eat Burger king for dinner (yummmmy onion rings). I was in Lisle and I had no clue where the nearest Burger king was. So...I head out... along a main road.. and take a random turn onto another main road.. (after crossing a few main roads in between).. and woah....I see a Burger King by the side. I am like... wooooow...groooovy. I mean.. I didn't even make one complete circle...
So..I went in and got the onion rings (Ohhh THEY ROCK!! especially with the zesty sauce). Then... bought some stuff to take back home, came back, packed.. and here I am online,... relating my experiences.

I am also such a fool. I drove down to Purdue.. expecting someone to be there. I call ppl once i reach the place... and noone answers..so..I hang around for an hour. Really get bored.. and head back before it gets too late and I am too tired to drive back. On the way...ppl call saying..OOoh..sorry...:-|. Oh well... am back in Chicago now. Did manage to get stuff done. and am now dead tired
must sleep early.. must not die.. must sleep early.
Awrighty ppl...gooniite

Travelling and trekking

I am heading out on Monday for India..my homeland.. and the land of my dreams.

I want to go trekking...travelling... seeing things.. smell the sweet stink of home sweet home.. and enjoyying myself with family, friends and others..

Well.. just wanted to post a quick post but my mind is too blank. As usual, I packed at the last minute (though I kept everything ready....beforehand). Now.. just a little more work.. and I can head back.

count up...count down...count up...count down....count sheep...count lizards...count bleh... enough. Babyeee. Gotta sleep early and be up earlyyy

more random posts

from Twisted View, I got a hold of this random book quiz..
yeah... it's random and tells me what book I am

You're Love in the Time of Cholera!

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by
sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give
consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the
one hand, you've loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions
barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff
could get you killed.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Embarrassed?

Yeah... today was kinda embarrassing. I went with my nieces to this place where they were dancing. It was supposed to some Indian people's event.. and I was thinking it was like one of the other one's where my nieces had danced at. Plenty of Indians... dressed casual-semi-formal.. And since it's been a while since I had done my laundry...I was in a round-neck T shirt and jeans. Yeah. T-shirt and Jeans. And guess what I saw the moment I entered there. It was a "special" thingie.. with tickets (donation?) at around 35 bucks and most people wearing suits and all. And the secretary of state was the chief guest (A Mr. Jesse White:-S~). Ahh.. felt so overdressed;). Yeah. Oh well.. I very well could not go back and change. I should thank the family-friend for going out of his way to make me feel comfy. Yeah.....

but my nieces danced well and it was fun. They got so hyper that they continued dancing on the floor all through the food. Speaking of which.. the food was goooooood. And after a potluck lunch... Oh man..I'm growing a fattt!!! :-S. Gotta controlll ..keep those oreos away from meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Mo Solo (The lonely goatherd)

Ok..

My last few posts have been pretty dry

but some stuff has been going on in my life ... so..first.. the updates

I managed to get admitted to Purdue's grad school for a masters. Now, I do not have any aid.. but what I do have is an admission. So, I intend to travel to India for my cousin's wedding, travel around a bit, get back and work my a$$ off. So, I leave this month end for India. It's going to be an interesting trip. I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that things go well. The way that things have gone in the past, I don't expect anything to work out smoothly. I will have to adjust and see how things get along. But all said and done, things should get along well.

So, the past few weeks... what have I been doing? I went to Purdue a few times... worked on getting the paperwork done so I can return to Purdue, applied for various TA positions, etc. I am still applying for jobs. What can I say...I have hope... but one never knows:)

Today was an interesting day. I needed to go to across the city to Devon Avenue to sign for, and pick up my tickets. I thought that it would be too much work for my cousin to take me in the middle of the week, the place being a good one hour drive from her home. So, I decided to explore the city by myself. Of course, I knew that a train went pretty close there...so it wasn't really heading out into the blue. So, I took a book (very appropriately, I am currently reading "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer". Aye, it was an adventure that I set out on. Though I initially planned on leaving at 7am when my uncle left for work, I stayed up too late (reading) and also decided that it wasn't worth it to push my way along during rush hour. And since the baby sitter would be around all day (even though the nieces went off to school), I decided to just relax and ask her to drop me off at the local train station.
So, I set off around noon. The first train dropped me off at Downtown Chicago by around 1:30 pm. It was a longish ride (being a slow mid-day train), but I read a bit and mostly dozed off. There were also some good looking women on the train that managed to keep me occupied when I was awake;)

Then, I started for the next train station, around 5 blocks away, at a brisk pace. As I was walking, my stomach rumbled a small complaint and I decided to look out for a good place to eat at. And Voila...I passed by a Jimmy Johns (one of my favourite sandwich places). However, the sandwich that I ordered wasn't how I liked it....bah. Well, onwards ho to the subway train station. I reached there, figured out how to get a ticket, and walked in (with some minor difficulties at the entrance to get in ..) The...ON the subway... wheeeee!!! another half an hour (while the subway went from below ground to being suspended above ground)... and I was almost at the end of my journey. Now to find my way to Devon Avenue. With my book firmly clenched in my hands, I set out...
walkity walkity walk.... hum ho walking I go.....1 block...2 blocks... 10 block...I walked for half an hour... and reached the end of my journey. I entered the room to meet my travel agent... she wasn't exactly how I had pictured her from her voice.. but hey..I'm just a kid right? What do I know?
10 mins later, ticket in hand, wallet empty of a few hundred dollars, I set back...this time I did not waver... nor did I have to ask for directions. My way down, I kept looking at buildings to figure out the building number and figure out how far away I was. (A trick that I learnt in India when I was exploring new places. I would look at store signboards. Most places included the address below the name of the shop... which let me know the name of the locality). But now, I just walked like in a trance. Just thinking random thoughts.. and just wanting to get back in time for my cousin to pick me up....and back on the train...reading..and waiting... walk walk walk back through downtown...(rush hour pedestrian traffic).. back on the train to the suburbs (express train this time).. and by 6pm was back!!!

another day gone by...in a rush...

Hmmm.. enough said for this post

wonder who reads this anymore...you shld leave a comment or something:)