Sense out of nonsense

I am feeling very random today.

And I always think I should write about something other than myself. I read blogs that deal with things desi (sepia mutiny) or with things that seem to matter in this world. Blogs on death, tsunamis, landslides, and other such profound, beautiful or sad things. And then I just do not write about anything like that because I know best about my own insignificant self (modesty filter is on as you can see). So...I write about the things that I feel in life, the experiences that are shaping me.. and the life that I lead in general.

Rant Begin
A few days ago, I reached Chicago. My cousin comes to my aunt's place(where I was staying), hands me an FHM magazine and says "Dude Mohan, this is not exactly the kind of book I expect to come to my house, please do something about it". You see, I had a free subscription to FHM (FHM website) that I had expected, would just wither away and die. usually, magazine mail is NOT forwarded. So..I was a bit surprised and taken aback. But sorry that it had happened that way. Now, FHM is a magazine that does have women wearing bikinis.. and it uses some words that parents of young kids might now want to have lying around the house. So...I said that I would take care of it. And I did. But something else hurt me a bit. I know I am overreacting and I understand the logic. Anywayz... apparently, my aunt's comp got infected by some spyware that would open up indian pornography websites as popups. And she suspected that I may have visited some website that did that. Now, hey... I know I am a guy in the prime of my youth ... but c'mon.... just coz I get FHM and I use their computer late at night (hey I am a night guy and cannot really help it) cannot mean I am an automatic suspect number 1. And as a geek, wouldnt I just KNOW not to open any spyware. But I also guess that she was just trying to make sure. Now, I wont say I have never viewed porn online... but I believe that I have outgrown that phase. quite a while ago. Oh well. cannot help it.

Rant End

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Now, I am in this surreal state of mind. The fact that I have graduated and need to do something about it is taking it's own sweet time to sink in. I have a few months to kill and I want to get a job. I have been speaking with a few ppl. And I have been planning to work on my resume. I havent done much about it till now. But I believe that I am more or less ready to begin work on it now. But I wonder how I will pass the days. Reading? Online? applying? What should I do? Even if I do apply, it will take a few months for things to be decided. And what do I do with all that time. Thats what overwhelms me. When it was 3 months of vacation in India, I spent a few days at each place... and hardly felt it. Now...I will be staying with relatives... for how many months? As Benjamin Franklin said, "Fish and visitors stink after three days". I feel like a fishy visitor. Despite my relatives being so nice to me. In fact, my aunt told me, "Dont worry at all and dont feel any kind of shyness in staying with us. You are always welcome to come and stay with us for however long you want." I am indeed deeply indebted to them for so much.

I spent an hour writing some heartfelt lines here.. and I erased them as I realized that ...for the first time.. I did not want to put them here. I was beginning to wonder how ppl would react to them... and that was making me change what I was writing... making it not quite true. So..it's gone.
Well I need to be up early.. and the time's much later than I expected it to be. So.. babye ppl. Take care and have a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious day.