Me Myself and I

Hmm
I wonder why I always talk about myself. My roommate saw me take my photo today and said... " Dude... you ARE a vain guy... u narcissist." He may have said it jokingly... but somehow..I have always known that I was like that. Especially in recent times. I guess I was never one to take good care of how I looked. If u see pics of me till around last year...I was as unkempt as could be. Nowadays...I seem to be taking a bit more interest in how I look. So... naturally...I have had a bit more of an interest in taking pics of myself to put up online. Especially.. when there are ppl who see it and compliment me;););)

Well..today...I was thinking... while taking my shower of course ( The bathroom somehow always inspires me)... what made me ... what I am.......


Some points came to me then...others as I was writing this....

I can still remember the day my mom caught me stealing.I was in 1st grade. Well..it wasnt exactly stealing...I just picked up a few marbles that looked good...from a cousins collection... and walked out!! And this was the day after I had picked up a pencil I had found on the classroom floor and put it in my bag. I was becoming a thief!! But my mom cut that short. My typically nice.... friendly mom... suddenly got angrier than I had ever seen her and beat me up. Never has she beaten me like that since then. That.... I think... made me decide not to ever do anything my parents wouldnt approve of.

My first experience copying was for an exam in 3rd standard. I didnt know a 'fill in the blank' answer. So I stood up, looked into the paper of the person sitting in front of me.. and sat down. I think the answer was 'cauliflower' or something... Anywayz...I got that wrong!! And after that....I didnt really think of copying.

I still remember... that till around 4th grade (or standard)...I was verry naughty. I think back... and feel... a little push.. and I would have been among the group of people my mom always warned me about. My company at that time .. consisted of ppl... who later... went on to become ppl like that. And I dont know what made me change.... was it my parents... my grandparents.... self preservational instincts? I dont know.


However... from 4th grade onwards....I went to the other extreme. I think I became stuck-up... Naive...Nerd...I was the perfectly obedient student. Believed in all the rules. Even till today... I treat all my teachers on the level of goddesses (I didnt have any male teachers in school). Especially all my teachers till around 9th grade. After that... the sheen started fading away (I believe due to the influence of some of my rowdier friends). Even today, if I were to see any of my school teacher, I would treat them as I did when I was in class. I would be very deferential. I believe that this was the time that a majority of my principles ... were formed. All those do's and don'ts of life.

Then came the crazy classes. 10th, 11th and 12th. I raced through them at breakneck speed.... hardly stopping to notice anything... and I believe that this period formed the basis for my "Bindaas" ( Take it easy??) way of life. Especially the ending... when I realized that all my hard work didnt really pay off in the way I expected it. Now...I dont regret anything anymore.... coz I like to think I take life as it comes... and believe that whatever happens... happens for my good. I learn something from it.. and move on.

Then....I came to Purdue. Ahh... Naive me!! I discovered women.....(yeah...I have always been a late bloomer).... I discovered psychology... and I discovered myself.

Wonder where life will take me ...