http://board.shodown.net/viewtopic.php?t=3213
http://www.discussanything.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-50538.html
http://www.languish.org/movabletype/archives/2004/06/utterly_useless.html
didnt have one link. Have 3...
am feeling like such a loser... useless. Absolutely like crap. Wondering where I went wrong...in doing what I am doing. I bragged abt my entire family to my poor ex roomie... and he listened to it all for the n'th time..uncomplainingly. I often pity my friends.. for being able to stand me for long. I know I can be obnoxious.
/me lists his shortcomings...
1) I am too obsessed with I me and myself
2) I dont really give a damn about anyone else
3) I loove praise.. though I cannot really give any. I have to often remind myself to ask others abt their life AFTER they ask me.
4) I am decently dumb.. though I pretend to be pretty intelligent
5) I am LAYYZEE
6) Ohh forgot...I am a stalker
7) Attention man-whore?
8) I actually believe all the praise my parents shower on me... and take it to heart!!
9) find excuses for my shortcomings too easy to find
I'll stop at the magical nine before I get too carried away...
Maybe that wont cheer me up...... maybe some good points?
1) I like to make other ppl laugh... and know inwardly that I conned them into laughing.. and they have no clue that it was all planned...
2) I am not that dumb either. I just am different (or so I convince myself each time someone outperforms me)
3) I do set high goals (Though I have difficulty achieving them... and then come up with excuses. Sometimes...I consider my own achievements as not good enough because they did not meet my own high standards... and I know that even if others did not.
4) I think I am considerate...not to others feelings all the time... but to others' comfort. I may tease ppl (been really mean to the good armenian I know)... but at heart...
5) This isnt helping at all. Makes me feel like some damn god of pride....
6) I have often wondered what ppl say behind my back.... and the few things I have heard...have changed the way I look at myself.. and the way I am. To be frank... I once overheard a friend pass a comment on me. He had left a voice mail for me..and forgotten to turn off his phone before talking bad abt me and my "High handedness" in front of his friends. I was livid for a few days. I almost blew my top in front of him. Maybe I was even mean to him a few times. Then...I realized...he was totally right in what he said. And I tried to change.... Hope I have...
coming back to the point... I often wonder what ppl say behind my back. After all.. that's the best kind of feedback. I know whats wrong with me.. and I try to change it. I know now... that I was a super geek in high school. My poor friends suffered a lot even then... as i read out to them from encyclopediae. And this they tell me today. If only I knew it then...
Another friend tells me his memory of me was as this funny guy with extremely tight pants.. Now...I never realized that. IF ONLY I DID!!.... I mean...some things I cannot help. But sometimes..I can try to change things...
well.. all this random writing is making me feel better.
Bye Bye for a while. I will try to stay away from my computer for now.
