It is 2AM. My roommates are sleeping. I am tired..but my day has left me with a bad taste in my mouth (or in my head?). I have been crabby and mean all day. It started yesterday itself..but today I have been especially mean to some ppl. Trying to demand attention I guess. I am mean with them and when they are mean to me, I get angry and walk away, hoping that they will come after me to pacify me.. and when they do...I dont get pacified. Maybe I was just feeling lonely. I try to fill the absence of a "quality" relationship with "quantity" but my entirely human mind is not satisfied.
Classes start from today. less than 4 months for me to graduate now. 16 weeks of classes. And I dont even feel different. I havent done any of the usual hectic stuff I do before classes start. Maybe I no longer really care.
Also felt some pangs of extreme affection for the opposite gender. They made me listen to some slow lovelorn songs.. and sigh deeply. I know I wasnt like this all the time. With classes starting, will I get busy enough to have an easier life? Will I be able to overcome this thought consuming affliction? Or will I be able to achieve some progress in fulfilling it? I wish I knew...
As Vadergrrrl said so nicely... just as the comments by those showing support and love provide joy, the absence of comments by some other ppl can be much more painful. So.. no comments for this post. This has just been an outpouring of a tormented soul..at a time of weakness. It shall pass... and the excessive happiness shall return soon enough. Just gotta wait out these things....let the pain be sucked out like poison from a wound. Leaving it in there will only cause the wound to fester and get infected.
Now my eyes have begun to droop..and the mind has begun to form images of written words in a lovely dreamland. Thus shall the post end.
- Mo So low
