Of late... I have noticed something about me. I have become totally indifferent. To everything. I mean..I do my work.. I talk to ppl...I get on with life.. but in reality..I dont give a penny for anything or anyone else. I sometimes wonder if it was the same Mohan. I mean....earlier...I read 2-3 forums regularly, read the news every few hrs.. and was really concerned with the lives of ppl around me and my own. Now..I dont really care. True...I still read a few blogs.. but I am no longer that interested in anything anymore. I dont have the drive to really go and do something.
And to tell you the truth...I wouldnt have realized this till a friend said that I was acting different. He was worried that something was wrong. And my drinking all of a sudden convinced him that I was some kind of Devdas (ref: protoganist of an Indian tragedy who takes to alcohol to overcome his dejection). Anywayz.. I just realized that I didnt care for anyone anymore. That.. nothing really mattered.
Maybe it is senioritis. Maybe I am just tired of thinking. Whatever it is... It doesnt really matter.. coz... nothing seems to be able to affect me. I mean.. even my computer or my crushes dont bring any kind of feeling out of me anymore.
Yeah.. the word is indifferent.
P.S. Coming to think of it... this really happened the day after I got drunk. Hmmm.
10 comments:
My senior year I started acting and feeling different too. Luckily I still graduated Phi Beta Kappa. But still, it got real apathetic there for a while.
hang in there
i dnt think its the drinking thats made the difference.....i wouldnt have really worried about that...ajay
hey ra ajay:) Dinn know u were visiting my blog:D
Very well...I'm trying to figure out where I changed.. and whether the change was for better or worse:D
hafta see
Mooooooooo... we should have been twins!!!!
Ahh enjayy!!! But maybe we are... maybe we are!! (philosophically speaking of course;) )
It is all the gray cells you burned off that day. I go through bouts of this too. Don't let it get to you. It passes, fellow moonchild.
Hmmm Lisa. I did not think of it that way!!!! Now it all makes sense.. and good ol gray matter lights up with the grand light of enlightenment:D:D:D
we all go through that sometimes.. and for a little while, it can be a good thing - to sometimes not care can make us more susceptible to another perspective on life - I mean, if you're busy putting so much of yourself into other things, you sometimes don't relax enough to let life put its input into you. Usually, you still care, it's just that the caring isn't at the top of your consciousness, and if something that really required it came along, it would bubble right back. But letting it simmer on the back burner can let it mature, make it so that you don't constantly need to express it.. if you feel that you're really burned out or something, though, let me know.. and I'll call you, and we should talk..
oh, that last post was mine.. I keep forgetting to sign it. - V
Thanks V;)
Now I'll just call you all the time, randomly for no reason at all.. (well... the reason would be I need therapy;) )
mwuahahaha ;)
but seriously... thanks:). It's great to have friends like ya:)
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