Good Morrrning people.
Today... I wanna talk about talking.
Talking... is something I love doing. I was not always like this... but this is how I am now. So... technically, I know both sides. I sometimes see people who behave the way I used to.. and I feel like shouting out to them to change. To get practical. To speak up. To let people know what their way is.. and demand it. But then...I suddenly realized.. life is not something that can be taught. Life can only be experienced.. and learnt. Especially when it comes to your personality. Unless you experience something, you cannot really understand why it may be better...or worse. The book Siddhartha comes to mind instantly. In that, the protoganist (?), Siddhartha, is on the lookout for salvation. He is in search of the true knowledge.. to be free from all worldly problems. This is based in the time of the Buddha.. who has achieved salvation and knows the true knowledge. Siddhartha's close friend decides to stay with The Buddha in order to learn the truth from him. But Siddhartha realizes that the truth cannot be taught. It should be something that will just dawn on you. You can only learn things to a certain extent. But without experience.. it will just be like bookly knowledge. One knows it... without feeling it. It is like knowing all the words in a dictionary... without knowing the language or the grammar.
So.. anywayz... now, I love to talk. I like being nice to people.. and I really like keeping my thoughts out in the open. I am still very shy when it comes to some thoughts... and very careful when it comes to some others. But most of the time, I can keep my feelings / thoughts out for people to see and know. I just cut myself off from them... because few people can actually hurt me. And that too.. in very few ways... and these people dont even know that. Heck, I myself dont know that till they do it. But most of the time... it is the lack of words that hurt me more... than the actual presence of words. It is those unseen gestures... those unsaid words at times of awkward silences that scare me. Thats why I dont like silence. If people are silent, I go ahead and talk.
But I wonder, why should I hide that which I hide? If I like a girl, why cant I go tell them that? Am I scared? Of what? That they will not be friends with me? That they, who have always taken me to be just a friend, or acquaintance, or even unknown person they smile at around campus.. will stop being that? Maybe I like too many women... and I cannot make up my mind. And why does social decorum keep me from being direct at those rare times that I am not? Gah. hehe. I am venting. I really vent on my blog all the time. Maybe I should think positive.. but I AM positive. My blog serves as a vent.. so.. I can remain positive all day long.. and smile and grin and scare people with my big fat face stuck in a permanent happy face.
Yeah. Ask all those people who hated me for being the only person to come out grinning after one of those dreaded EE exams... (Though I was just happy that the exam was done.... and since there was nothing else that I could do about it...I would just be happy)
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I drove for 6 hrs yesterday!! Yay... 300 miles added to my tally. Thats 1300 (road trip) + 950 (road trip 2) + 300x2 (2 trips to Chicago)... = ~2850 miles in a month and a half. Thats more than I have driven in a few months in india. (I think I drove a few thousand km on my li'l two wheeler in India....over 4 years). So.. basically went to Chicago to watch a movie. A Telugu Movie (Telugu being my native tongue). The movie was awful... but it was fun. Just spent some time with people.. learnt some new things abt them.. and got back at 2:30am after eating dinner at a nice Indian restaurant at Chicago.
That be life.. and this be college. Welcome back to college Mohan.
2 comments:
not to say that talking isn't a wonderful thing, especially when you enjoy it as much as you do. But don't worry so much about those who stay silent. Sometimes, silence is a beautiful thing, or even a necessary thing. I hope, in all your chatter, you never fail to realize that. :)
because I'm on the topic, I think I will not choose to remain silent about it, in fact. Sometimes, people choose to be silent not out of fear of speaking, but out of not feeling the necessity of speaking. In fact, I used to be such a person, until I felt criticized by others for it. Now, I even regret that I feel compelled to say unnecessary things. Here is a quote from a book by Kahlil Gibran called "Sand and Foam" to which I relate:
"My loneliness was born when men praised my talkative faults and blamed my silent virtues."
there are other pertinent ones:
"Though the wave of words is forever upon us, yet our depth is forever silent."
"Only the dumb envy the talkative."
"The real in us is silent; the acquired is talkative."
You may judge what is true for you; obviously, and should note that he also felt the need to express himself. "Half of what I say is meaningless; but I say it so that the other half may reach you."
he also says: "All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind."
hope you've enjoyed my words. :) -V
Hey V,
You amaze me for 2 reasons
1) You actually read my entire post...(Or I presume you did)
2) You destroyed my argument with a few well said words.
Well not quite.
My argument was mostly that people dont talk enough. They hide behind the veil of silence feigning indifference. I totally appreciate silence. I mean...I do talk a lot.. and I so hate it when ppl dont let me finish (which happens quite often... btw:( ) More seriously, I agree that, often, silence speaks volumes. But it is excessive silence that piques me. Silence when one needs words. It just makes things so much easier. To complete the communication... instead of trying to guess the others' thoughts. Guess it takes the excitement out of life;).
I know I talk a bit too much at times. And wish I had been silent at points. In fact, too much talking results in people just not listening to you. But only when I became talkative.. did I realize that being talkative can make u a nuisance... but it can also ease some types of communication.
Basically,when I started writing this post, I was not thinking about how much you talk... but what you talk. But I think of something.. and assume people will understand me though I only make the vaguest of references to it when I actually write out my post.
Just as an example:
"Best be thought a fool, than to open one's mouth and let out all shadow of doubt" or so it is said.
But.. what is the fault of people realizing you are a fool.. if you truly are?
This does not mean you go around telling everything to every Ram, Lakshman and Bharat (three common Indian names)... but to atleast let the involved ppl know what you think. Clears out so much confusion and miscommunication. Whaddya say?
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