Chillax

Hmm
I need to hit the chillax button
(meant to chill me down and prevent me from reading too deep into things or worrying too much unnecessarily)

10.9..8...7....6.....5......4.......3........2.........x

Engineer? Or technician?

just some unnecessary updates
~ repaired my phone!! Makes me feel like an engineer....or maybe a technician..I dont know.. but I opened it up (found the special screwdriver for it at Home Depot) , found a bent contact, straightened it, cleaned it up.. and it works now. No more debilitating, conversation ending static. YAY

~ my friend sent me this video of Russel Peters. A Canadian comedian of Indian origin. Hilarious (though a bit offensive.. uses some vulgar language..et al).
Link

~My vocabulary has become horrible. I mistook clique for cliche and made a fool of myself while chatting with a friend. Hence, have decided to use dictionary.com every time I see a word I dont understand, or ask the person for the meaning. I mean, a little embarrassment can avoid bigger goof-ups!!!

~As for all those people worrying about my utter lack of concern for my own happiness , of the utter lack of direction in my life, or even the utter lack of stability in my life, it flatters, yet bothers me that you worry so much. I mean, I must be important to you for you to worry about me. But at the same time, you must be thinking I am a useless fellow, incapable of determining what is good for me and what is not. Well.. this point was just a rant that developed out of too many arguments and conversations. Kindly try to ignore it. :-p.

from my friend's email sig:
"If u always do wat u always did then u will always get wat u always got... do something different today "

bloglicious - fat = lean mean mohan

**WARNING EXPLICIT CONTENT**

isnt life meant to be self explanatory?
Does one need to explain oneself to the entire world?
So..I was... and blogs were getting boring and long.
Welcome to a new Mo. (with a 'green is for go' look rather than the 'stop at red' look)

Random things I did in the last few days
~•~scour the web (unsuccesfully) for a larger version of this picture(thanks gemmak for this pic) (discovering, in the process, that yahoo image search stops
after 1019 images) - 5 hours

~•~read Kim - 15 hours (estimated)
~•~read Jonathan Livingston Seagull - <30 mins
~•~Help nieces build snowman(my first) smoking a carrot and wearing just one glove on my hand- 1.5 hours

~•~Scour the web for jobs and apply- 20hours (estimated)
~•~Help nieces with Math homework - 3 hours
~•~Browse randomly (thefacebook.com, rediff.com, news.google.com, blogs, statcounter.com, gmail.com, apple.com, mail.yahoo.com, MSN, Yahoo, AIM chat) - endless
~•~Sleep all day and up all night (every friggin day)




random quote I saw on facebook:
"Procrastination is like masturbation, it feels really good untill you realize you are just f***ing yourself"

It Happened one night

One night...in a study lounge, while studying with a friend, I pointed out a girl to my friend and said, "isn't she cute?".
Later that evening, she came up to me with a question...
It started like that.
And then... days spent in that lounge.. waiting... people used...details sought. And then came contact.
She became a friend. I thought I was over the crush. After all, love was a forbidden fruit. Or was I?
Was it something in her face? her voice? Her eyes? Or was it her shy self-conscious laugh? Maybe it was her attitude. I had to get to know her better. Abandoned by reason, aided by friendship and pushed on by a sense of vanity, I convinced myself that we were just friends. Yet, the heart raced and my legs took me to her doorstep. Time after time.... day after day.
But what is love, my brain cried? How does one know love, if one hasn't ever experienced it. Crushes I have had... but none so early...none so long lasting and none made me feel like this each time I caught sight of her. Is this love I still questioned. After all, friendship must not be threatened by such outrageous claims. And friendship would be a strong thread to cling to. And I graduate, going far off. How will time affect the feeling? No matter that time hasnt had any affect all these days. And neither has distance. Questions.... without absolute answers.

And then realization struck a home run. I, who never believed in love at first sight, was actually experiencing it. Love, after all, hasn't been defined. Doubts evaporated under the flame of introspection. I had to let her know.
I was like a shy bride to be. Nervous....with downcast eyes. Was I ashamed..maybe...for having betrayed trust...for having done something that might hurt. But it had to be done. Two sentences I said.. and two I received in response. Should I demand for more? Should I explain myself? Verbosity may clear things up. But I walked out that day.

Edited.

Some of my favourite things

I was browsing through this blog (that I have been frequenting after reading a few articles that seemed like pure genius, especially this one on kissing frogs. Anywayz...... I saw a recent post where she said that she was making a list of things she liked to lift up her spirits. And I thought... well..I should also come up with a list of favourite things. But to also follow the song....from the Sound of Music...
So.. here is a list of things.. that bring a smile to my lips...and things I like

Somehow... my mind seems stuck on the first thing as being Jade. yes..the stone Jade. There is some deep desire in me to own a piece of jade. Maybe something like this piece shown here. I remember reading in Reader's digest, a long long time ago.. that jade is one stone that stays warm.. and that translucent nature ... beckoning... demanding
Beauty in nature.... lying unobserved... playing itself for no audience... but for the sake of itself
Smiles
A good deed
Grandparents
Friends

Kids.. naughty kids....their impish personalities... quick retorts... and irrefutable logic
The smell of rain after a dry spell
Honesty
Consideration for another's thoughts and feelings
Talking...
Women in long skirts...and frilly blouses (delicate...lace...satin...)
Unexpected compliments....
My favourite dishes
Dogs
Crisp money
Jokes (even PJ's)
Understanding someone's hidden thoughts
Driving ...
more later

A visual treat

I took pictures that come nowhere close to describing the serenity and beauty of the whole
but here are a few
(click to enlarge)



The best picture .. or so I thought. The snow... the trees....









There's a little birdhouse in my uncle's backyard. No birds ever use it... but it seemed so nice.







This is just a picture of the porch at the back.. with a foot of snow. It still lies like that... undisturbed except by a few animals walking through the snow. The snow will melt slowly...








This last picture.... though not very clear.. was taken at night...from my room... The view was simply amazing then.. and this picture is but a short and very limited glimpse. A 6 second exposure .. and it hardly does any justice... but here it is...

It's So Beautiful

It's beautiful outside. The snow fell all night... into late afternoon. My Uncle and Aunt went out for some party that they were invited to. Luckily, they only got stuck after coming back.... it had snowed too much.

Long footprints lie in the backyard. Could it be some kind of deer? Or maybe some kind of winter snake that came out after the snow stopped.

I took photographs at night..through my window.. and again in the morning. I didn't want to step outside for fear of spoiling the serenity with my footprints.
The backyard is still very clear... with only the footsteps of some passing animal looking so beautiful. No rough plasticky soles creating manmade monster footprints.

I had a dream yesterday night that made me happy. It seemed so real...so positive. It only drives my heart wild. Dreams....Dreams....

They show in films.... those awkward moments (in Indian films, the hero(ine)'s imagination takes him(her) to a song and dance sequence)... that love blooms in. When time seems to stand still... and all you can see is that face...oh so close. I don't dare breathe for fear of it just collapsing into nothingness. And yet I want to breath in that faint scent... that familiar perfume which evokes pleasant memories. I can close my eyes and relive those moments... for they are etched in some hidden part of my mind... faint but true... old yet new

Snow!!!!

It's snowing....
yes it's snowing
a foot of snow expected...
and it's beautiful:)
Absolutely totally BEAUTIFUL outside.
(or as Enid Blyton put it in one of her books, it's Bee - Yoo-Ti-Ful)

Roads are hazardous....people are freezing... winds are ablowing....
but all I saw in the morning yesterday (after a relatively small snowfall) were the footprints of tiny animals in the snow walking along my uncle's fence (next to an arboretum). I saw snow lying like a white blanket.... as far as the eye could see... with a little bit on the branches.
more of that

I feel like singing...but I'll prolly wake up my uncle who's snoring away on the couch ;)
back I go upstairs reading kim under my comforter warm and cozy. My aunt made me a few spicy snacks too:)..so eating and reading...I'll spend my time... (though I prolly wont get to go to my cuzins place with the high speed internet coz of the snow)

I'll sing anywayz
babye

Tring Tring

Its 9:40pm. I have this sudden urge to call her... but I say no
9:50pm.... no boy... no no.
10:02...
10:06...
10:08...
10:10... I pick up the phone
I last called her three days ago.
My hearts starts beating a bit faster... what will I say.... how will I begin...
now my heart's going at 200 beats a sec... and I just hit call to get it done with

Tring Tring
(I cant hear my heart anymore....)
Tring Tring
(she usually picks up on the second ring)
Tring Tring
(should I hang up? She may be sleeping...)
Tring tring
(She's definitely sleeping or not in...or does she have caller ID now??)

click....I hang up.
Heart slowly comes down to normal.
music..........robert miles...

Sense out of nonsense

I am feeling very random today.

And I always think I should write about something other than myself. I read blogs that deal with things desi (sepia mutiny) or with things that seem to matter in this world. Blogs on death, tsunamis, landslides, and other such profound, beautiful or sad things. And then I just do not write about anything like that because I know best about my own insignificant self (modesty filter is on as you can see). So...I write about the things that I feel in life, the experiences that are shaping me.. and the life that I lead in general.

Rant Begin
A few days ago, I reached Chicago. My cousin comes to my aunt's place(where I was staying), hands me an FHM magazine and says "Dude Mohan, this is not exactly the kind of book I expect to come to my house, please do something about it". You see, I had a free subscription to FHM (FHM website) that I had expected, would just wither away and die. usually, magazine mail is NOT forwarded. So..I was a bit surprised and taken aback. But sorry that it had happened that way. Now, FHM is a magazine that does have women wearing bikinis.. and it uses some words that parents of young kids might now want to have lying around the house. So...I said that I would take care of it. And I did. But something else hurt me a bit. I know I am overreacting and I understand the logic. Anywayz... apparently, my aunt's comp got infected by some spyware that would open up indian pornography websites as popups. And she suspected that I may have visited some website that did that. Now, hey... I know I am a guy in the prime of my youth ... but c'mon.... just coz I get FHM and I use their computer late at night (hey I am a night guy and cannot really help it) cannot mean I am an automatic suspect number 1. And as a geek, wouldnt I just KNOW not to open any spyware. But I also guess that she was just trying to make sure. Now, I wont say I have never viewed porn online... but I believe that I have outgrown that phase. quite a while ago. Oh well. cannot help it.

Rant End

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Now, I am in this surreal state of mind. The fact that I have graduated and need to do something about it is taking it's own sweet time to sink in. I have a few months to kill and I want to get a job. I have been speaking with a few ppl. And I have been planning to work on my resume. I havent done much about it till now. But I believe that I am more or less ready to begin work on it now. But I wonder how I will pass the days. Reading? Online? applying? What should I do? Even if I do apply, it will take a few months for things to be decided. And what do I do with all that time. Thats what overwhelms me. When it was 3 months of vacation in India, I spent a few days at each place... and hardly felt it. Now...I will be staying with relatives... for how many months? As Benjamin Franklin said, "Fish and visitors stink after three days". I feel like a fishy visitor. Despite my relatives being so nice to me. In fact, my aunt told me, "Dont worry at all and dont feel any kind of shyness in staying with us. You are always welcome to come and stay with us for however long you want." I am indeed deeply indebted to them for so much.

I spent an hour writing some heartfelt lines here.. and I erased them as I realized that ...for the first time.. I did not want to put them here. I was beginning to wonder how ppl would react to them... and that was making me change what I was writing... making it not quite true. So..it's gone.
Well I need to be up early.. and the time's much later than I expected it to be. So.. babye ppl. Take care and have a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious day.

Happy Sankranthi / Pongal Ppl

Okies...so today is Pongal.. also known as Sankranthi in Andhra Pradesh, my home state. Sooo.. just wanted to wish everyone a Verry Happy Sankranthi.

Sankranthi ... brings back so many memories. We always had school holidays till the day after Sankranthi (which was usually the 14th of Jan). Sankranthi / Pongal as it is known is the harvest Festival in India. This consists of three days of celebrations in my family.
The first day is known as boghi. This was MY FAVOURITE day. For days before this, we would collect twigs, leaves and other flammable items. Sometimes my aunt would get a few branches cut down and let them dry for a few weeks. The day before bhogi, we would arrange all of this into a big pile in front of the house. Then...on THE day... we would wake up earrrly in the morning.. ( as early as 5:30 am) and have a head bath (basically wash our hair too)... put on new clothes if possible, and go out and start a bonfire. We would throw dried dung patties into the fire and apply their ashes on the forehead. Dried cow dung patties are used in many places as fuel!!! Especially as cow dung does not technically stink (atleast not like human poop) Anywayz.. It was a lott of fun. India does not get too cold (atleast where I stayed)... but january mornings can get quite chilly.. and with the sea breeze.. and the warm fire... and cousins all around we would have fun. Then... onto a nice breakfast (vegetarian). Ahhh.....

The next day.. was Makara Sankranthi. On this day, we would wear our best dresses, again wake up early, and have a head bath. On this day, earrrly in the morning, the the courtyard would be washed and colourful designs (called rangoli... in Hindi or muggulu in telugu) would be drawn with chalk and coloured powder. It was a day to celebrate... I dont remember too well but I dont know if we had any major puja (basically special religious worship). I do know that there are many traditions that are followed. Like wearing new clothes or buying new clothes. Then some intra family gifts are given.. etc. Winter time.. waking up early... is simply wonderful. I remember the clean air...the smell of water on mud, the birds chirping in the morning.. The soft crashing of waves in the background, the sharp winter sun. And my cousins chit chatting. My Uncles and aunts... the dog... my mom and dad.. and above all my grandmother. It was a time of love and happiness I tell you. She would pluck flowers from the garden in the morning for her worship.. and there were often many flowering plants in our house. My aunts liked flowers. So... roses.. Hibiscus... Orange flowers... red flowers.. yellow flowers.. white flowers... :):):). If you were up early enough, you would see the parrots come to drink the nectar of these orangish yellow flower that grew in a corner of the garden. There would be hundreds of sparrows taking dust baths in the mud near the bougenvilea... and I would go running around showing off my new clothes as my uncles and aunts and cousins all complimented me on my "smart" attire!!!

And then... there was the third day called Kanumu. On this day.. we would stop our vegetarian diet and celebrate the harvest (theoretical in our case... as my parents did not really own fields).. by eating vada with chicken curry cooked South Indian style with a lot of gravy. We alwayyyys ate this at one particular uncle's place. The entiiire family would gather at his place and dig in. Yummmm.

My mom would recite this verse that my grandfather supposedly used to sing at the time of this festival.
"Sankranthi panduga nadu, Chanka kindha pettukuni, Sampekonti patteno kodiyoo kodi" (On this festival of Sankranthi, with you in my armpit, I take you to the slaughterhouse.... oh big fat hen). A bit gruesome.. but when you are thinking of feasting on chicken, it isnt that bad a verse;)

Now.. Chicken curry in our family... requires the usage of poppy seeds to remove the "meaty raw" taste. But the poppy seeds result in us alll feeling sleeeeeeepy right after breakfast. Hmmm... and then lunch was again chicken curry...

After a day of lazing around after a heavy meal... we would go and get prepared for school to start. And then.. all too soon.... back to school... back to the hubbaboo of day to day life. Just like life here is now. I barely know when a festival comes...and goes.

Well, I leave Purdue tomorrow. Finally. I do not know when I will be back.. and I do not think I will be back anytime soon. I think I have finally prepared myself mentally that I have graduated and that I need to leave this place. I did meet a lot of my old friends, classmates... other ppl today. So, it was a nice farewell.
Goodbye Purdue..... my alma mater... I'll miss you:)

lazing around or???

I was about to go for a walk... when inspiration struck for the second time today and I had to blog(Of course...inspiration struck me in the loo just before I left) So I rushed out to write this.

I took a class in history last year. On the history of Science and technology. My prof mentioned a few things.. that were very interesting. Co-incidence? I dont know... but they made sense.

He told us... Newton did his best work during the plague years. In fact, he himself claimed that he had never been able to do that kind of work ever again in his life. Do you know what Newton was doing in the years that the black death invaded europe?? he went home... to sit around doing nothing. The university had closed to prevent possible mass infection.. and everyone went home to the small villages hoping not to get affected. And this was when he did his best thinking. When he did not want to do it.. but he had nothing to do.

Einstein... too... quit his college in germany or someplace and went to Italy where his father had moved. For an entire year... he lay around doing nothing. Or.... apparently doing nothing. it was at this time, while helping his dad build clocks and engineering devices that he began thinking on the concepts of relativity.

So... I sometimes wonder. Will the next 6 months of my life prove really fruitful if all I do is think? if I just sit back... and think. I hope sometimes.. that thats what is going to happen. Call it a dream... or whatever. But.. after wasting my brain for the past few months, I now think I need to put it to work. Now.. back to that walk...

random post from Purdue

I am now at Purdue. It had snowed here before I got here.. but now the weather is pretty good. it was soooo beautiful yesterday night...with the snow hanging off the trees... and some of the snow had melted and refrozen as icicles. I realized that if California was beautiful... this too was a kind of raw beauty.

I have a friend here. He is a good guy... but a tad unreliable. So.. he said he would pick me up from the bus stop. I wait and wait.. and wait.. and no sign of the good guy. So...I carry my 50 lbs suitcase and walk to his room (10 min walk away) and knock on his door. I call the number he has given me... but it goes to the person's voicemail. I call up another friend, waking him up from his sleep, and discuss my poor plight for 20 minutes that ends up almost draining my battery!! After 1.5 hours outside...it started getting a wee bit cold.. (I was reading my book for a bit)... so I decided to give up. I called another friend who lived across the street from there and went to his place before my cell phone battery died on me. In the end, it turned out my first friend was taking a nap at his friends' place as he was too scared to sleep alone after watching the Mothman Prophecies!!! Jeez!! Excuses!! Oh well. that was my incident for the day.

You know... my mom and sis were telling me that some relatives read my blog regularly and pass comments on me and my family behind my back. They say mean things that sometimes upset my family members. And you know what...I tell my family.. why do you worry? You know the truth and I know the truth. I have no reason to keep anything secret... and thats why I put it up as it is. I am after all a human being going through life ... normally. If someone passes a comment on my life, it is their problem.. and there is no reason to worry or feel upset about it. But there is one thing that makes me mad. That someone will behave in a manner that is mean or will say something to someone. However, they do not realize that they do not follow their own words / suggestions. They pass a comment but do not realize that that same comment applies to them too!! I know that I am guilty of that occasionally but everytime I say something... the first thing I ask myself is... how would I have behaved in that person's shoes. The only thing I expect is that other ppl show atleast that amount of consideration for other ppl's feelings.

moving on....I would like to tell you ppl about a discussion that I had with a friend earlier today. This is just a discussion showing my extreme apathy... and maybe it will offend some ppl. Hopefully though, you will see my point of view.
My friend was telling me how India had not banned the harmful chemical DDT till very late... resulting in large traces of chemicals being present in even breast milk. (upto 23 units in India compared to 2 in the US). And that too when DDT was a useless chemical. I took the argument a level above it all and said... When we humans are taking over the world in such an unnatural form... living in such unnatural population densities... it is ok if a few ppl die here and there. And such a thing will in fact weed out the unfit. I believe that survival of the fittest comes into play each and every time. However, my friend debated that survival of the fittest is only for brutes.. and that humans were capable of rising above that. Her position was that birth control would be the best method of reducing population. However, my argument remained. In today's world... we are making great progress. We are developing better and better technology. We have great technology. But in doing that... we are addling the human mind. Fewer and fewer ppl are writing instead of typing. Fewer and fewer ppl are actually doing simple math in their head. Leave such things aside.... with better medical technology.. people are surviving that would have lived earlier. i.e. Survival of the fittest will break. But will it? With more people surviving.. the unfit will remain... the longer they live... the more the chance that they will suffer from some other disease... or will cause a breakdown of some system because these people are unfit. Somehow or the other... people will die because they are simply not physically or mentally the top of the pack. I have seen arguments stating that in such cases Beethoven would not have lived... or so many other ppl. But my point is not of individuals. Mine is of the world as a whole. As long as we use up a larger piece of the pie than we should, we will have to suffer the punishment.
Does this mean that I will support homicide or mass killings of any sort? Nopes.. absolutely now. I still believe in the sanctity of life. But I do not believe that life is everything... and I do not believe that improving medical technology is the best thing in the world. But would I say the same thing when it came to my own family and friends?? I have thought about that long and hard. Often...I have thought... how would I react if my close relative or friend had cancer or some life threatening disease... would I encourage the best medical technology? I think I would. But would I be mad if my family got hurt or was affected by a natural calamity. I have decided that I would not.... as thats what mankind deserves. Thats why....I do not feel that bad about the people dying in the tsunami. I feel bad for those affected and those suffering as a result. But I am not affected by the deaths. It was something that had to happen. If humans were in smaller numbers... far fewer numbers would have died. Just another way for nature to keep things in check. It's like an invisible hand guiding our actions I feel. The more people get better medical facilities.. the more unfit people survive.. and the more the chances that these people will do something wrong. It's just my belief. However, I do not let this effect my views towards the handicapped. I do not say that they should be killed. NO. In fact, many times.. the handicapped are more fit than some apparently healthy humans. I am only talking on a macro scale... and on that scale... I am on the side of nature. I will not do anything to further my cause as I am too lazy and I know it is not worth it. There is always that invisible hand ... guiding our lives.. and deaths... and working to ensure that earth maintains some sort of balance.

I see that hand

Graduation and beyond

heyya all.
I am back:). Kinda. I got to San Francisco on the 26th and today is the 6th...sorry...7th(12:10pm) in california. I am now at my uncle's place, leaving for Indianapolis in less than 24 hours. Then...onto Purdue for a week. And then... Chicago. Well, anywayz... This post will be an update of the past week or so... and some thoughts that have been troubling me for the past few days. Meanwhile...I just looked at the stats and overwhelmed at the ppl who still check my blog regularly. Thank You. I will add the radio blog and the tagboard sooon...

first...the update..

The 26th ...I landed in SF where a friend's cousin picked me up. This was a high school reunion. 6 classmates....and good friends meeting up in warm weather to enjoy. Well...it rained most of the time...but we got some excellent photographs that I will put up soon. And we had fun times.....
So... we stayed at my friend's cousin's friend's house. These ppl had gone to india for a vacation.. and so we had the house to ourselves. However, our base of operations was my friend's cousin's place. She made some awesome food for us... and her husband was DA man. He showed us around san francisco... planned our trips.. and basically made sure we all had a lottt of fun. Ramesh Bavagarandi and Neelu akka... three cheers to you!!!
26th.. we rented a car and went to a mall. 27th, we went to roaring camp and the mystery spot and came back. I had to return the rented car while we booked a minivan. 28th, we picked up the minivan... and then the reall fun began. Thanks to Chris Welch at Enterprise, Newark, we got a really good deal. 8 of us packed into the minivan meant for 7 (and no lightweights I tell you)... and we basically went all over San Francisco.. and nearby areas.
some of the best places: Monterey bay, Oakland/berkeley downtown, 17 mile drive, Spanish bay inn, half Moon Bay, San Francisco Downtown, Napa Valley (famous for it's wineries), Old Faithful geyser, Fisherman's wharf, world's most crooked street..etc. We even tried a guys night out and went to a nightclub..... but 2 of my friends didnt have the right ID's even though they were 21. So...no entry...and we came right back.

The first day I was there, I got so excited that I lifted up a chair...smashing the chandelier that was hanging pretty low :(. Saaaad:(:(:(. But they were sooo sweet about it. Then.... there was the snoring. 2 of my friends were snoring 70% of the time at night. One guy would be watching a movie with us...fall asleep halfway through...and then jussst SNOOOOOORE!!! GAH!!!
And then...the incident where I got pissed off as one friend was too self centred (as is my conviction)... but ....as I said....I decided to have my fun and I did. Then... One day..was my frenz cousin's husband's b'day. So... we got a cake and chocos and wine (from a local Napa Valley Winery) for him. And had a party.....(not really surprise... but still). And then....I decided to go meet my mom at my uncle's place. Unfortunately, we got delayed as we went to the temple... and had to drop off a friend halfway there... and then got lost as we were given the wrong directions. TWICE!! (both times...we were told to go South when we had to go North). Anywayz... we ended up reaching my uncles place pretty late. And the return was supposed to be on a treacherous road (State road 17 from Santa Cruz region)....so we had to leave within half an hour. .... and the anecdotes can go on forever and ever.
My friends all left on the 5th. One to LA... another to Illinois, another to Kentucky, another to Pennsylvania and the last one to Idaho. It was great meeting all of them... and we had an especially great time because of 2 very special ppl in SF. Thank You once again:)

Well.... then...I met my sis for a few hours and then came to my uncle's place where I have been relaxing. Tomm, my mom leaves for india .. and I leave for Indy. Interesting ehh? My uncle also gave me a few books to read...
The Seven Daughters of Eve by Bryan Sykes
Illiberal Education by Dinesh D'Souza
Relatively Speaking by Eric Chaisson
The God partice by leon Lederman
and Catastrophe by David Keys. He is more of a science buff (Not sci-fi... but science)...so these books should be interesting reads. I started on the first one...

I have also been catching up on blogs....slowly.. as I have my ibook with me. I have also begun a bit of chatting. mailing.... getting work done. And now...as I delay sleeping and I upload some 250 of the 1000 odd pics that we took, I feel like pouring out some feelings to this blog that I so love and yet hate.

I have been thinking as to what to do after my graduation. I want to try for a job... but another part of me just wants to go to india.. meet relatives and travel. A friend who graduated with me is making plans of trekking in the himalayas and also going to some nature resorts (tiger reserves, rhino reserves...). All of that seems like fun. But I have spent soooo much money these past 2 months. On car rental... flights... just food.... and treats... and on myself. The money just disappeared. :(. What more can I say:(. Maybe I can get a part time job. I dont want to get an internship as I want to go to india in feb/March. Life......is so full of decisions:(. Meanwhile...I want to get down to work on getting an internship. or maybe a job. As for graduate school...I am just not sure. I am just going to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best:) I have been sooo lazy in my applications...I should be shot. But what could I do... so many things to do....so little time...

Well.... after all that buildup... my feelings came down to only one or two points. But these points are big for me... as they make my life seem sooo unpredictable and so .... I dont know.... immature maybe? or so... unsure. Well... anywayz.. thats my life. it's 1 am now and I better sleep now if I intend to wake up early....

P.S. Pics from my trip are up. 250 or so that I liked...
Linkie for pics

Take care ppl and have an Awesome day:)

Happpy New Year!!

Heyyaaa Ppl. Here's wishing you a Spectacular and Very Special New Year. May the new year bring you all the happiness in the world:)