Well, I always wonder whether I am intelligent, or if it is just a thing of my ego. I was always a pretty good performer. School... intermediate (grades 11 and 12) and college. I did seem to have deteriorated throughout .. but it may have also been because I kept coming across better competition.
Now, I do believe that I give off this aura of being smart. People think I am smart. but am I really as smart as I behave? That I do not know. I do know that I need some kind of motivation to work. The last one year, I feel as if I have not done much brain work. My brain feels as if it is degenerating. Mainly because my classes last sem were pretty simple.. nothing compared to the earlier semesters. Reading is not really that much brain work.... so I am kinda bored. But then again, I do need motivation to work.
There was this time in a psych class that I felt that I perfectly fit a particular case. This was of people who wantedly sabotage their chances....so that they have an excuse for their bad performance. Maybe not study enough for a test. So, if I perform well, it is because I am smart...and if I didn't, well, I didn't work hard enough.
And then came the rejection letter from Stanford. Now, Stanford has been a dream college for me. I always wanted to go there. Even before my undergrad. So, it was a small jolt, though an expected jolt. However, rejection from Stanford may have been a blessing in disguise. I had applied for a PhD at Stanford .. but i am not sure if I could handle a PhD. So, yeah. At least, now I can plan for other things, now that Stanford has said no.
So.. I wondered if I could be considered intelligent. So very often, I feel like a fraud. And I took a few IQ tests. haha.. yeah.. one of Those!! www.iqtest.com , www.tickle.com, and even a test on mensa.org
iqtest.com: IQ of 156 (genius... less than 1% of test takers). I had taken this test a few months ago.. and I got a score of 149... (they then said it was equivalent to some profs / researchers or something.)
HAH!!
tickle.com: score of 133 on both the the IQ and the super IQ test. On top of that, they tell me
"The way you think about things makes you a Complex Intellectual. This means you are highly intelligent and have extraordinarily strong verbal and math skills. Compared to others you are a highly conceptual and complex thinker and are able to understand information in an abstract form. You also show great attention to detail. In fact, it's hard to find something you're not good at. Hahahahahahaahahaha
How did we determine that your thinking style is that of a Complex Intellectual? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Complex Intellectual. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities."
Ok... so... these made me feel better. But I was like... what's the use.
so I went to a mensa test. I managed to get 23 correct out of 30. That IS pretty good they told me!!
So.. well.. maybe I am decently smart. Hmmm. I do feel better..in a sense.
but how do I become better? I do think I need better goals. and I need to work harder. But laziness and lack of motivation slow me down. But not enough I do believe:)
