nothing

yeah... see.. nothing going on...so nothing to write..or something like that

will be updating soon enough:D

noses and more

Okies...
I HAD to blog about this. Some people might find it gross.. but oh well. People find many natural things gross:-D

Well.. coming to the point,

today, I was looking at myself in the mirror and noticed this humongous hair in my nostril. And when I say Humongous, I don't mean that it was loong. it was a bit longer than the rest.. but it was FAT and BLACK and ... really really stiff. So, i cut it off and took a closer look at it. Sheesh. it scared me. It was as fat as 2-3 of my normal hairs.. even thicker than my moustache hair. I mean.. it was THICK. Oh well.. now that aberrant hair has been put in it's place.. and my nostril looks a bit .. cleaner.

Well, back to my normal life.. I went to Purdue to see off some friends... and find out stuff about my admission
I drove back Indian style... dropping 2 friends off at the airport with all their luggage (ended up filling one side of the back seat with suitcases.. the trunk was packed.. etc etc etc)
I also managed to catch a cold/cough. So.. my cure... any phlegm.. spit it out first thing. This clears my throat and nose... faster... So I sorta feel better today. And of course, eat well no matter what. As my mom keeps saying.. "Feed a cold and starve a fever

Other than that... just hoping/dreaming of my India trip.

more personality tests

I was sitting here... getting bored.. especially as noone seems to comment on my blog anymore. Anyways.. I was sitting here and I thought.. why not take some personality tests...

here's what it said

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||||| 76% Stability |||||||||||||||||| 80% Orderliness |||||| 30% Empathy |||||||||||||| 56% Interdependence |||||||||||| 50% Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 70% Mystical |||||| 30% Artistic |||| 16% Religious |||||| 30% Hedonism |||| 16% Materialism |||| 16% Narcissism |||||||||||||| 56% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 63% Work ethic |||||||||||| 50% Self absorbed |||||||||||||||| 63% Conflict seeking |||||||||||||| 56% Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 63% Romantic |||||||||||||| 56% Avoidant |||||||||||||| 56% Anti-authority |||||||||||| 50% Wealth |||||||||||| 50% Dependency |||||||||||| 50% Change averse |||||||||||| 50% Cautiousness |||||||||||| 50% Individuality |||||||||||||||| 70% Sexuality |||||||||||| 43% Peter pan complex |||||||||||| 50% Physical security |||||||||||||||||| 76% Food indulgent |||||||||||| 43% Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 70% Paranoia || 10% Vanity |||||||||||||||||| 76% Hypersensitivity || 10% Female cliche |||||||||| 36%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test

Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..

Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

------------------

But the most important was this
trait snapshot:
messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture

thought I pretty much answered the questions directly...

lets see...some more tests?

Advanced Big 45 Personality Test Results Gregariousness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Sociability |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78% Assertiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Poise |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Leadership |||||||||||||||||| 54% Provocativeness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Self-Disclosure |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86% Talkativeness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Group Attachment ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Extroversion |||||||||||||||||||||||| 72% Understanding |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Warmth ||||||||||||||| 50% Morality |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78% Pleasantness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Empathy |||||||||||||||||| 54% Cooperation |||||||||||||||||| 58% Sympathy |||||||||||||||||| 58% Tenderness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Nurturance ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Friendliness ||||||||||||||||||||| 64% Conscientiousness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Efficiency |||||||||||||||||| 58% Dutifulness |||||||||||||||||| 58% Purposefulness ||||||||||||||| 50% Organization ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||| 54% Rationality |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||| 54% Planning |||||||||||| 38% Orderliness |||||||||||||||||| 58% Stability |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78% Happiness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Calmness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Moderation |||||||||||||||||| 58% Toughness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Impulse Control |||||||||||||||||| 54% Imperturbability ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Cool-headedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Tranquility ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Intellect ||||||||||||||| 42% Ingenuity |||||||||||||||||| 54% Reflection |||||||||||||||||| 54% Competence |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Quickness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78% Introspection |||||||||||| 38% Creativity |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78% Imagination ||||||||||||||| 50% Depth ||||||||| 30% Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||| 57%

Take Free Advanced Big 45 Personality Test

and the key is

Factor		low score	high score
Gregariousness	82%	quiet, reclusive	engaging, socially bold
Sociability	78%	withdrawn, hidden	warm, open, inviting
Assertiveness	70%	timid, gunshy	controlling, aggressive
Poise	74%	uneasy around others	socially comfortable
Leadership	54%	stays in background	prefers to lead
Provocativeness	62%	modest, plays it safe	bold, uninhibited, cocky
Self-Disclosure	86%	private, contained	very open and revealing
Talkativeness	74%	quiet, stealthy, invisible	motor mouth, loud
Group Attachment	70%	loves solitude	prefers to be with others
Understanding	74%	insensitive, schizoid	respectful, sympathetic
Warmth	50%	disinterested in others	supportive, helpful
Morality	78%	break/ignore the rules	play by the rules
Pleasantness	74%	aloof or disagreeable	gets along with others
Empathy	54%	out of tune w/ others	in tune with others
Cooperation	58%	competitive, warlike	agreeable, peaceful
Sympathy	58%	socially inconsiderate	socially conscious
Tenderness	66%	cold hearted, selfish	warm hearted, selfless
Nurturance	70%	self pleasing, me first	people pleasing, me last
Conscientiousness	70%	reckless, unscheduled	careful, planner
Efficiency	58%	unreliable, lazy	finisher, follows through
Dutifulness	58%	leisurely, derelict	strict, rule abiding
Purposefulness	50%	inattentive, undisciplined	prepared, focused
Organization	70%	relaxed, oblivious	detail oriented, anal
Cautiousness	54%	impulsive, spendthrift	restrained, cautious
Rationality	74%	irrational, random	direct, logical
Perfectionism	54%	careless, error prone	detail obsessed
Planning	38%	disorganized, random	scheduled, clean
Stability	78%	easily frustrated	calm, cool, unphased
Happiness	70%	unhappy, dissatisfied	self content, positive
Calmness	74%	touchy, volatile	even tempered, tolerant
Moderation	58%	needs instant gratification	easily delays gratification
Toughness	74%	hypersensitive, moody	thick skinned
Impulse Control	54%	lacks self control	maintains composure
Imperturbability	66%	highly emotional	emotionally contained
Cool-headedness	62%	demanding, controlling	accommodating
Tranquility	62%	emotionally volatile	emotionally neutral
Intellect	42%	instinctive, non-analytical	intellectual, analytical
Ingenuity	54%	lacks new ideas	innovative, novel
Reflection	54%	unreflective, coarse	art and beauty lover
Competence	90%	slow to understand/think	intellectual, brainy
Quickness	78%	intellectually dependent	intellectually independent
Introspection	38%	not self reflective	self searching
Creativity	78%	dull headed	synthesizer, iconoclast
Imagination	50%	practical, realistic	dreamer, unrealistic
Depth	30%	lacks curiosity	mental explorer

Take Free Advanced Big 45 Personality Test

A series of unfortunate events

"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place. But believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact, be the first steps of a journey. "

Saw this very interesting movie. A bit depressing at times I should say.. but the movie ended on a positive note. Having 2 nieces, i do know that there are 13 books in the series, out of which, 11 have been written. I don't think I can begin reading the series till all 13 are written. Oh god, the suspense would kill me. Not that I cannot handle it.. but the movie is just written (yeah.. the movie IS written) in such a despairing tone, that it kinda makes one cling onto every ounce of hope, and you know.. that kind of sad stories are not for me. I mean, this is not the right time or the correct place. I mean, I have a bunch of serious, possibly thought provoking movies that I have yet to see, but have not only because of a strange foreboding that watching such movies will not be too good for me.

Speaking of which, i was trying to read "The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne.. and the first few pages kept putting me to sleep. However, hope abides. I have found "The Godfather" at the local public library. A book that I have been intending to read for the past many MANY years, but which was never available at Purdue (Their copy was stolen.. those darned *&^$@&^%$ socks?). So, yeah... that's going to entertain me for a while. I also went to the mall this weekend and bought myself some books. A book collection for my kids (and myself) that I have started today. Not exactly today and not exactly for my kids. These are books I have wanted to reread (or read a non-abridged version of) since god knows when. I know that I only got into reading because there were so many books lying about the house (and having parents that encouraged reading helped of course). So, I bought "The adventures of Tom Sawyer", "The Count of Monte Cristo", "The Call of the Wild" and "White Fang". Well bound books, all for the good sale price of 20$. (buy 2 get 1 free hehehehe). And I had purchased a few books last time (though not as well bound.. and not such great books... but good books nevertheless:
"The Great Gatsby", "The Scarlet Letter" (That I will get down to reading eventually), and "O'Henry award winning Short Stories for 2003" (or something like that).

So, that's a start. Lemme see.. what other books do I have. "Siddhartha" and "The Alchemist" gifted to me by a good friend, "Allan Quartermain" (the continuation of King Solomon's mines... that I brought from India), 2 books of short stories by Isaac Asimov gifted to me by my sister, another Sci-Fi book gifted to me by my friends for a birthday (and another Asimov book too I believe.. they did gift me two books... don't recall it that well...bleh..sorry folks). Hmmm.. what else... "Lectures in Physics" by Richard P Feynman gifted to me by my profs at college, I E Irodov (ahh that classic book of Physics problems)... I think that is about all the books that I can care to remember.Oh.. Wait.. I Do have Mahatma Gandhi's "My Experiments with Truth" brought from India.. and a copy or two of the Bhagvad Gita (both gifted to me after I came here). I should also have a copy of the Hanuman Chalisa..and a few other books by Swami Vivekananda and Swami Ramakrishna Paramhamsa. Well well well. now I am beginning to really get boring.

Books.. I simply love books. But there is one thing I will never forget. Each and every exam, I would suffer from a severe case of sniffling, sneezing and nose-dabbing. At least for one day. It was like a known fact. I figured out the reason only recently... Dusty Books!!! Hehehe. I bet my parents will want to kick me now. But I never did too badly.

and I end with the quote from the movie "A series of unfortunate events" with which I began this rather bizzare and random blog

"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place. But believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact, be the first steps of a journey."

Kal Ho Na Ho

Listening to: "Kal ho na ho"

"Life is like sunlight, changing shape every second.
Sometimes it is dark with shadow..another, it is too bright and sunny
But savour every moment here on this earth....
For one can never be sure of a tomorrow"
(my personal translation of the first verse of the song)

I want to blog something. But my mind is simply too broken to think of anything worthwhile. Maybe the fact that it is almost 6am has something to do with it. Well, it still is going to be a nice day. When I wake up.

well, since I cannot think of anything else, how abt another song that I like?

Johnny Cash: Hurt

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

...
Lyrics

another of my fav songs

Glen Medeiros: Nothing's gonna change my love for you

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Lyrics

Another one...

Frank Sinatra: Strangers in the night

Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wond’ring in the night
What were the chances we’d be sharing love
Before the night was through.

Something in your eyes was so inviting,
Something in you smile was so exciting,
Something in my heart,
Told me I must have you.

Lyrics

Yeah... enough for now:-)

(p.s. I soo love robert miles... I was driving to that music today...so SO SOOO lovely but that's for another day)

Demands

Ever get the feeling that you don't deserve someone because all you have ever done was demand something from them but never have anything to give back? And you feel that that is so because you just don't know what to give, and all that you CAN give, they already have?

Finding Neverland

If you believe in fairies, clap your hands

*clap clap*

After all, growing old is compulsory, growing up isn't.

Crazy or what?

Ok... back to Chicago. Caught a train back to Chicago Prettty early in the morning. Anyways... the trip was pretty uneventful... I finished reading "Interpreter of Maladies" by Jhumpa Lahiri and realized that she has a pretty standard theme to most of her stories. They tend to revolve around academics, many of whom end up studying at MIT or similar institutions.. and their kids. Darned brilliant folk eh!! And she is pretty darned cynical about love and marriage. So.. that's the negative part. But maybe she is too much or a realist.. unlike me. I like to believe in all things being good and nice and that everyone (or almost everyone) is a great person.

Which makes this kinda funny as I now go on to make fun of this guy I saw on the train down to Chicago. He was this guy with a small CUUUTE smiley baby sitting two rows in front of me.. and talking across the aisle with another lady... about STAR WARS!!! Yep... that's right. he was a Star Wars nut. I mean... the whole 'Planters nuts' deal. He had read the star wars books and the comics, collected various figures.. played many star wars games (on the computer and in real life...) and so on.. and so forth. Not that it is anything bad... but I just found it interesting that someone can be THAT interested in a movie or a book and that a simple story can cause people to get that deep into something. I mean.. it isn't even real.. and he is talking of jedi moves and people 'learning' Jedi moves...
But then again... I have friends that are big into role-playing games (no no.. not THAT kind of role playin... just dressing up as wizards and so on casting spells etc and running around with fake swords etc). I guess it is a kind of way to bring some meaning into your life... find something to do.

Food's good

Went for lunch to Fazoli's. MmMMmmmm. Good food. And it was darned cheap too...especially this one dish that my friend showed me. Ate a lot. And as she said...the chocolate cake was reallly yummy. Too bad I was too stuffed to eat more than a bite. Bah.

Went to the lafayette brewing company for dinner with HKN (The Purdue EE honor society) (some friends in it actually...I never joined the society...it wasn't worth the effort) Decent food.

went bowling in the evening. I scored the lowest...BUT
My ruby ring (which is normally a dark opaquish maroonish red) glowed blood red under blacklight (UV ehh).
Wicked!!

Saw Napolean Dynamite. so so movie.
up till too late...now. 6:40 am...and I just had a shower as my hair felt icky. Bah.. have to wait till it dries out completely....

Dil Kehta hain...chal unse mil..uthte hi kadam...rukh jaate hain...
hum dil ko kabhi samjhaate hain...dil humko kabhi samjhaati hain
(hindi song lyrics... translated as... My heart tells me..go visit her..but my foot halts even before I get up.
Sometimes...it is the heart that consoles us... at other times, we have to console our hearts)

ri-rick..di-rick

Trains... that go ri-rick..di-rick... ri-rick di-rick. Swaying gently ... lulling it's passengers in a cocoon of steel. I have always loved trains. The disorganized organization in the stations.. the vendors selling books, food items, toys, chains and locks.. (all this in India of course...). And the 'coolies' The men in red shirts that carry luggage.. arguing with people. The train announcements in three languages.... In the midst of all that excitement, the train waits serenely.. arriving and leaving at it's appointed moment (usually) with no consideration for the shouts and screams of others. One sees people waving through the windows, peering through some searching for their loved ones... running to buy a last minute snack or reading material.

And once we are travelling.. it is another kind of life. Sitting down or sleeping... walking up and down a bit. making friends... or staring at the person sitting next to you or across from you. But most of the time, I would look outside the window. The second class coaches in india have open windows with grilled bars to prevent people from falling out. So, a brisk warm wind blows in most of the time. Of course, if it is raining or too cold, we get to close the window with a glass shutter or a steel shutter with vents.

And we fly past cities and towns... little villages consisting of a few houses, a cow or two grazing in the backyard. Fields after fields...brown, green or black depending on the time of the year. Sometimes, all one sees are rocky plains surrounded by rocky hilld. Some people wave to you. Sometimes, they are busy using the area as an open air bathroom and they rather you were not there to stare at them. But all the time, the train keeps flying past. Not waiting to give me a second glance of something... but like a film at a theatre... moving on all the time.

I spent a lot of time in trains yesterday. I caught a train to Purdue. The soft swaying of the train, the clicking of the wheels as they bounced from one rail to another.. all of it took me far away. And then there was the view from the window. villages and towns....a few lights in the distance...marking the presence of humanity. Trees swept by, dark and morose. Canals and shiny snaking rivers...

The beauty of it all kept me awake.

And then there was the book. 'The Namesake' by Jhumpa Lahiri. A very wonderful book. There were times when I looked up from the book, and away, to stop the onslaught of tears that seemed to be perched at the edge of my eyes. It spoke of love and confusion. Of family and responsibilities. I wanted to call my parents, tell them how much they meant to me, and always have. I have stayed aloof..and yet, I feel so close. Today, I realized that I know nothing of their childhood. Nothing of their actual dreams and desires. Their goals as children. Their lives. I have always assumed that they lived to take care of me and that I was their responsibility and that was that.

I feel awakened and caught in a cage. But I am confident and happy too. It is the knowledge that is important. I am young and flexible..and I do hope that I do not make the mistakes that I have learnt through other people. After all, in a sense, reading a good book means living the life of the characters.

the Godfather

Hmm.. I have ebooks on a website... the bandwidth limit is 50 gigs.. and in less than 15 days.. with no advertisement AT ALL...(just google indexing it)... 40 gigs have been used up.. so I had to cut it off...

what else...

been applying all over the place for a job. I know I am good, I have the skills and I am motivated. So.. I do hope to get a job soon.

I also want to travel.. see someplace new. Chicago is a great place.. but someplace different.. would be nice:-)

Well.. allergies are catching up. But it's lovely outside. So what if I sneeze a bit..sniffle a wee bit. It's amazing weather:-)

Started on Jhumpa Lahiri's The Namesake...

I don't know why.. but nowadays.. somethings seem to be affecting me more than normal. I always led a pretty distant life from others. I kept them at a distance.. even my parents and sis. I had great respect for them but I somehow felt that I kept them at a distance. I think it was my way of remaining unaffected by other people. My way of leading life with no distractions... But nowadays... reading about the affection for the child by parents... and other such mushy things are making my eyes moist. I mean.. it's like this pang of affection that brings a little bit of moisture to my eyes, a small contriction in my heart .. and it's gone.

"He who fears being conquered is certain of defeat." - Napolean Bonaparte
anyways... with eternal hope
I sign off

I'm lovin' it

It's a beautiful day
I love spring showers...
I love rain in general.. especially when the weather is nice and warm.. and you hear the pitter patter of raindrops. It takes me back to days gone by... and also brings me into a relaxed mood.
And I love the colours around me. Bright flowers.. entire trees in bloom!!! It really is beautiful.

I am a crazy guy eh. Wishful thinking... dreamy...and absolutely nuts in some respects...but I'm lovin' it (As the latest McDonald's ad goes...) I see some folks and I start putting myself in that position 2.. maybe 5 years from now. I see myself doing stuff...I see someone's face a lot too. As I said...I have become dreamy. But I am happy. And reading is nice.
But..I am becoming a bit too complacent.. getting used to my lifestyle.. NOT GOOD. So.. started working towards changing things:-)

God Bless ya folks... lets all enjoy the beauty that surrounds us and that God has given us (for you women.. that includes guys around you... and of course...I don't need to tell the guys anything;) )
Enjoy!!!

random tests

Ok... so.. I saw these tests/ surveys on a friend's website and decided to take them
The first one...
What age do you act

it says I am 18 years old :-p
(P.S. I am 22 years old... going on 23)

Then.. is this dating quiz.. lemme see how I rate on that one. I don't think that they will ever say anything negative about you.. but oh well.. here goes..
it's a dating profile test at Dating Diversions

Here is the entire thingie... pretty much what I already knew...

Your dating personality profile: Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Practical - You are a down-to-earth individual who is not impressed with material excess. You care about the stuff of like that really matters.

Your date match profile: Intellectual - You seek out intelligence. Idle chit-chat is not what you are after. You prefer your date who can stimulate your mind. Traditional - You need someone who is a bit old-fashioned. A person with traditional values and beliefs will perfectly compliment your lifestyle. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Big-Hearted 2. Liberal 3. Practical 4. Wealthy/Ambitious 5. Intellectual 6. Traditional 7. Romantic 8. Adventurous 9. Sensual 10. Outgoing

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Intellectual 2. Traditional 3. Practical 4. Funny 5. Adventurous 6. Conservative 7. Stylish 8. Athletic 9. Sensual 10. Outgoing

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

listening to Yanni.. and going to get back to Naipaul's A Bend in The River.
Next is.. Jhumpa Lahiri's The Namesake:-)
Books are awesome :-)

plop...plop.....plopp

well.. not much updates.

I am at my aunt's place...so only on dialup. Spent some time downloading updates for this computer.....painnnful.
Also.. helped my aunt around the house.. fixed two toilet flushes (surprising myself...) and a leaky tap (again surprising myself)
well..I AM capable of some good work;)

Hmmm...
was theorizing ... I was soo busy in my teenage years.. what with studies and all that.. that I didn't have time to go through all that teenage angst stage and all. So.. now is the time for that to hit me. Or something like that

Also been getting plenty of sleep. 8 hours on average... compared to the 5-6 4-5 hours that I got at college. So.. have been dreaming a lot too. Of course...I don't recollect any dream after I wake up.. but they seem so real. In fact, I remember a dream in which I was so surprised about something that I hoped that it wasn't a dream.. and I convinced myself that it wasn't.. till I woke up.. when I realized that it was a dream. Sheesh. Confusing.

btw, I am concentrating on my job hunt. You can help me out by passing my resume to those that might be interested in hiring an electrical engineer. Thanks.:-)
resume

Any tips on improving my resume will also be appreciated. Just email me at mrokkam@rokkam.com

Have a wonderful day:-)

Gandhi

I saw Gandhi today. A truly inspirational movie. A movie of a man who stood for truth, love and principles. Today, I make a promise unto myself. I shall strive to stick to my principles. I shall remember that truth, and truth alone will be the victor, even if I lay as a minority of one. And I shall remember to love each and every person, no matter what they might have done. For love is the all encompassing and all overcoming power.

I truly admire the movie too. It is excellent. Watch it if you haven't already. Ask me.. and I will try to get you the movie.