Hello?

Heyyyya ppl!!! Thank you so very much for the wishes. I will definitely try to live up to the expectations;).

well.. for a long time... I have had no or very little access to the internet. So.. no updates... no thanks.. nothing. Well.. here I am now. I am in San Francisco relaxing with some friends. Actually... I am not relaxing... just jumping around having fun. or trying to atleast.

In the meanwhile, my website is currently down for a bit. (www.rokkam.com). So.. as a result, the tagboard and the music server are down. Hopefully, it will be up soon.

I spent a week in Chicago before getting here. Good Food... relatives..... relaxation. I began to wonder how I ever survived on only 5 hours of sleep at Purdue. I have been sleeping by 11pm and waking up only after 8-9 hours. By chance, I was on the same flight to Chicago as my mom and grandmom (as I bought my ticket separately..with no knowledge of their plans). So.. we went to O'hare on the 24th for the flight at 5pm. They said the flight was delayed till 8:30pm. So.. we go out, get back by 6:30.. and wait. And wait. And wait. Finally, we board at 10:30 ... some technical problems. The emergency lights were messed up. At 11pm, they offload us saying the flight has been cancelled and that we would be put on the first flight the next day morning (at 8am) (other flights to SF at 6:15pm and 7:50pm had already left). They gave us coupons for a local hotel and ask us to report back by 5:30am. All this while, my mom and grandmom were waiting. Poor old ppl... had to walk through the terminal... out into the cold, catch the bus, and go to the hotel. Next day..we get back.... and head to the gate again.... looong walk. At the gate... there is a huge line. My uncle got my grandma a first class ticket.. and so she was able to get a seat. But darned United Airlines had just changed aeroplane and replaced a 767 with a 747. However.. that 747 was just not enough..... and 36 ppl...including my mom and I... were left behind. we got some compensation... and then headed back home. Finally, we got first class seats on the 26th at 8am.... and got here safe and sound.

Am now..kinda sulking with my friends. I was so energetic....trying to motivate ppl to do things.. and all I get is ppl not even accomodating a single wish of mine. I mean...I try to accomodate them... and I just feel as if noone appreciates it. So...I decided to just live life normally...not give a damn.. and have fun my own way.

Anywayz..gotta go now. Take care and have a Greatt time. I'll be back:)

Graduation!!!!! We have done it!!!! I look distracted... but this was one of the better pics;)

The gang.. (standing)Neetika, Raghu, Clive, Jinesh, Konstantin, Borna, Borna's friend, Zhang (sitting) Vishnu Jaju, Jason Lim and Mohan

Mohan , Sathakka, amma, akka, Anje and Siri

More of ze gang.... (I am feeling sad)

Now I am beginning to get reallly scenti.....

gah .. network error

Daily Update

Ok....today....well yesterday...actually day before...I thought I should go see this new film Swades. So..I asked a friend..and she said I shld get more ppl to go along. Which was my plan anywayz...to get more ppl to come if she came along. Coz....somehow..a part of me wanted to spend time wth her. Well.. anywayz.....so..I got together some friends... and...today..I mean yesterday....(Friday)... went around setting things up....but in the end...she was too tired. Oh Well:). What could I say. Anywayz...went to Indy with my friends ...determined not to be a damp squid. I think I went overboard on that...becoming hyperactive. In any case... went to an awesome Indian restaurant...and then....onto the movie. We ended up getting first row seats.....at an IMAX theatre. Huge screen + first row = not knowing which part of the screen to concentrate on. Hehehe. I think some of my friends got headaches. It was one LOOOOOOOOOOONG movie. A musical like all Indian movies, it ended up going from 9:50pm to 1:40am (with a 20-30 min intermission in between). But I liked the film. Only thing..that kept bugging me was that I may have been able to spend some time with her. Doubtful....but it's my damn heart. Practicality...vs Mohan's heart. Well... Then...we got out at 2AM...and decided to head to the Steak and Shake at the Indianapolis downtown...that I had been to earlier. So....we went there and ate dessert. 3...3:30ish..we are heading back...when I decide I need a drink to keep me awake. Some gatorade....or water. So...I take an exit....looking for a gas station. and I get lost. Anywayz.....after a bit of looping around...and driving parallel to the highway...we find a gas station.

At this time..another friend calls me and asks me when I'll get back...and if I could pick up a friend from her dorm. my roommate..and this close friend of mine..had been out drinking along with her and other friends...celebrating graduation. one of the guys, rarely drinks as such...and this time..he hadnt even eaten properly before heading out. So... the drinks got to him pretty badly. He had reached my friends dorm..that was close to the bars...and was throwing up....and as such..was in no state to walk home. Since I was around 30-40 mins away...I drove down quickly. The poor guy had been throwing up every few mins. Anyway...after making sure he was better...I drove home....and here I am blogging. Now..my other roommate and neighbour just woke up..getting ready for an exam. One told me he was hungry. So...I'll drive down to the McDonald's with them.

Also got to pack up..and write some SOP stuff for applications...and...and.....and...waah......soo much work.
Oh well.
God be with me this next 2 days:)

Take care ppl and have a Greattt time

I am DONE

I am done. 3 simple words that mean so much. I have written the last examination of my undergraduate career. Now... applications... and sleep beckon me into their waiting arms. I need their solace...to drive away the melancholy of change...to drive away that gloom that pervades my inner being at the thought of saying goodbye to my home for the last three and a half years... and that depression associated with parting from your close friends...maybe forever.

Goodbye for a while people as I cheer myself up.. and prepare myself to face the world stronger....and better.. and with a degree in Engineering in my hands.

Randomm site of the day

Random site of the day

Random site of the day... www.red.com
it's soo random.. that it is a 1 page site.
I like the picture though:)

I'm back

Just got back from Chicago....
Met my sis... and mom... and relatives galore:-D

And I am happy too.
And I got this song in my mind...
It just seems soo appropriate;)

Artist: Smash Mouth Lyrics
Song: I'm a Believer Lyrics

I thought love was Only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else But not for me
Love was out to get to me
That's the way it seems
Disappointment haunted All my dreams

And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her If I tried

I thought love was More or less a given thing
The more I gave the less I got, oh yeah
What's the use in trying
All you get is pain
When I wanted sunshine, I got rain

And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her If I tried

What's the use in trying
All you get is pain
When I wanted sunshine, I got rain

And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her
If I tried

Then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
Now I'm a believer
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm a believer
Then I saw her face
I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm a believer

Anywayz...I graduate in 1 week. Exactly. On 19th December, I graduate with a degree in BSEE from Purdue. 3.5 years down the road. It has been a long road... but it seems like just yesterday that I landed in this strange country. The first thing that came to my mind at that time .. was the smell. I smelt cakes and pastries. Now... 3.5 years later...I dont smell that anymore... but life has changed so much. I have changed so much. It amazes me. I have met so many wonderful ppl!!! And had such fun experiences.

Anywayz... my mom. sis, Uncle, cousin and their kids are all coming down for my graduation. Maybe some more too. After that, I stay in Chicago for a few days and then head to San Francisco to spend 10 days with my high school friends. And then... stay with my uncle and spend time with my mom and grandma. After that.... back to Chicago..to look for an internship.. and look forward to graduate school. Maybe a trip to India... but dont know as yet. Lets see how life goes...:):):).

Mother of mine....

You gave to me all of my life to do as I please.
I owe everything I have to you.
Mother, sweet mother of mine.

Mother of mine when I was young
You showed me the right way things should be done.
Without your love, where would I be?
Mother, sweet mother of mine.

Mother, you gave me happiness much more than words can say.
I pray the Lord that He may bless you every night and every day.

Mother of mine Now I am grown.
And I can walk straight all on my own.
I'd like to give you what you gave to me.
Mother, sweet mother of mine.

My mom is in Chicago. She came here for my graduation. :). So..I am going there this weekend. My sister will also be there:). And... I am thrilled:-D.

The thing that scares me is that someday...I will be mean to my parents and make them very sad. I mean.. they have made me what I am. And I am a happy man. So... I just hope that it never comes to a situation where my parents are pitted firmly against my personal wishes. And I am almost sure it will never come to that. My parents have always known what is in my mind. I have a feeling that they trust me in my decisions... as I trust theirs...and till date, I have always managed to resolve differences by talking them out. My dad is still a bit harder to talk to as he only hears what he wants to hear. But my mom is so very open to discussion.

it is times like this that I realize how boundless the human heart is when it comes to love. :)

so true...so true...

I’ve got you under my skin
I’ve got you deep in the heart of me
So deep in my heart, that you’re really a part of me
I’ve got you under my skin

I’ve tried so not to give in
I’ve said to myself this affair never will go so well
But why should I try to resist, when baby will I know than well
That I’ve got you under my skin

I’d sacrifice anything come what might
For the sake of having you near
In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night
And repeats, repeats in my ear

Don’t you know you fool, you never can win
Use your mentality, wake up to reality
But each time I do, just the thought of you
Makes me stop before I begin
’cause I’ve got you under my skin

-Frank Sinatra


-------------------------------------------------------------------

totally unrelated update:
ok....

so... since I decided that it was prolly just a prank email sent by a friend, I decided to go ahead and ask him. And yeah...it was the guy I thought it was.... playing a prank on me. Something that got a bit too serious.....

but taught me a lot:)
:-)

Now I am TRULY depressed

Seriously... what kind of person would actually copy paste an insult???? Looks like that's what happened here. The person sending me the hate mail actually got it off the internet!!! And to think I almost thought I was special for the person to have looked up all those words and worked hard to send me that mail. :(. As I said...now...I am TRULY depressed;).

now... I just have 2 finals.. both in relatively easy classes. So... just need to work on finishing up my applications. Hope that goes off well:)..:)

Hate mail update

Today...I think I know who sent me the hate mail. The PC that the mail was sent from was being used by a person that I thought was a good friend. Now...I am sad... coz this was something I never expected. Oh well.... guess life still has it's lessons to teach me. I know I should go and ask that person about it... but I'd rather not. Coz.. it just isnt worth it.

*sigh*

random saying

www.raaga.com was an Indian music channel.. where a LOT of ppl would stream the latest Indian music from. However... now... that channel has been taken over by some cybersquatters. Anywayz... I just clicked on an old link to the site... which should open up a "404 Page Not Found" error page. However.. the 404 page on this site.. had an ad for the hosting site... and this little tooltip popup popped up with the following in it.. I just thought it funny / interesting...:)

"Have you practice a litle love today? To your loved ones perhaps? Your parrents, your spouse, your children, your neighbours, or even your enemy? Here is a short tip on how to love them - Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. So these three remain ... faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of these is love."

Another thing I forgot to mention was the reason for using bats in my old post. Our cart uses Ultrasonic (High frequency sound that bats use to navigate) to navigate. So... when our cart refused to work, we decided to use 3 bats to power our little cart. So... thats the reason for saying bats.

it's 5:20 am and I am again in lab.... and I have a homework in my c++/java class that is due at 1:30... and I dont know if I can finish it. Also have to prepare for this presentation. Well.. there is a god.... so... I have hope.

Shopping carts and bats

Well... the last 2 days have been pretty hectic. We have our senior year final design project due on wednesday. So... we have been working on it all this time..as things begin to fail in the last minute...and we begin to get desperate. Anywayz... our project is a shopping cart that will follow a person wearing a beacon. As of 4am today, it did follow the beacon...though not perfectly. We do not hope to be able to make it perfect...but maybe beautify it a bit:-D.

Since Sunday, I have literally lived in lab. coming home at 6-7 am. Waking up... and heading to lab. I didnt have a shower yesterday, the first time all semester!!!! I felt sooo weird. Anywayz... I just got home at 6am...and decided to shower as I wouldnt get another opportunity till much later (As I have to be at work at 9am. so...now for 2 hrs of sleep...or nap...or watever. 2 more days...and my semester will be more or less done. Still have some work.. (and 2 finals) but it wont be that bad I hope.

Thanks ppl. Dont worry abt the hate mail. I really dont care much abt it. As I said...I actually found it pretty funny actually. (I did find out that gombeen means usury (that is involved with lending money at a high rate of interest) and it really isnt a noun. So...that was pretty funny too!!)

Well...the best way to be worry free is to keep doing something..so I am..and so I will be. Take care and have a Greatt time ppl.

hate mail?

WARNING... CONTAINS CUSS WORDS AND OFFENSIVE MATERIAL

Yesterday...I got a piece of Hate mail. Someone had visited my website (I know that that person is at Purdue)... and sent me an email from my website. More than anything else, the mail made me laugh. It was pretty well written too... with a lot of big words:|. It is reproduced below...for all those who may be interested in it:

"
Hello Mohan Rokkam,

You've received a new feedback from Mr/Ms Admirer.

The following data was submitted:

First name : Secret
Last name : Admirer
E-mail : secretAdmirer@nonexistentserver.com
Comments :

You're stretching credibility beyond it's breaking point by referring to yourself as a man, you pitiful pimple-popping putrid pile of prepubescent puke! You couldn't get a date if you bought them dried in a tin, you under-medicated, rump-ruptured chronic self-abuser. You're the kind of greasy, giggling, girly gombeen who buys STDs from a viral lab just to make it look like you get laid. Who the hell told you that you are attractive? Mr. Magoo? You're the kind pathological liar who even lies to an insult generator. You're a politically vacillating phony liberal fuck; too damn broadminded to take your own side in a debate. You four-eyed, cerebrally-deluded, Einstein-impersonating, pseudo-intellectual nerdturd with a head full of misfiring synapses. Like your height, everything about you is average; except your stench - which is overwhelming. Your weight may well be proportional, but you've got cellulite that makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic. You couldn't get a job cleaning shit off a toilet, you utterly useless wrinkled balloon in a muddy puddle of goat's piss. That's a sexy outfit you're wearing. Who shot the couch? I'm not really good with fools, but a friend who is wrote something down for me; Oh, yeah, "Fuck off." May you live a long life and be the butt of many jokes to come."

I need some time off

Just feeling a bit low. Spoke with a friend from India (it's his birthday)... and my sister... and somehow... despite all the ppl who have been talking to me... been so nice to me.. suddenly..I feel all alone. I think I need some time to myself. I will go hit that book I got (Crime and Punishment).. stay away from it all for a while....

I so feel like going for a loooong drive now. I saw the sunset today... it was beautiful....I took a few pics from my window.. but the glass in between kinda messed it up. That and ambient light...

Awrighty ppl. Take care... and enjoy:)

Mohan.

Dont you dare close your eyes.....

at the risk of copying this song from a friend's blog...I'll go ahead and mention it...
a song from Aladdin...(I saw this movie just now)

A Whole new world.... Lyrics

My favourite part is when the carpet is hurtling towards the river.. and Aladdin says: "Dont you dare close your eyes..."
I spoke with the girl....spoke out my feelings...(I do tell you...the fear of sounding foolish almost stopped me). But I managed to speak..... and the answer was not something I totally agreed with. But that's life...
At the risk of sounding like a stalker...I somehow feel that I still love her...and more than ever. Do you think that I have love enough for the both of us?

More songs added...and some removed. The one by whigfield...brings back memory of school.. where some girls danced to this song... and somehow..the song got burnt into my memory. This one..and "Sexy Eyes" (first time I heard that song..I didnt believe my ears...someone actually using the word Sexy in school!!!Scandalous)

I am not much of a band or genre person....but I like the following bands / ppl's music best:
Robert Miles
The Corrs
Robbie Williams
you shld try listening to them:)

Confused

Just was reading my horoscopes (I am a leo cancer cusp...so I read both)..... (I read them for the fun of it). Each horoscope I read is sooo mixed. One says "a risk backfires big time...." but also says "Think about hanging up some mistletoe tonight"(cancer). Leo..says... "The lion may road today and expect others to respond, but clearly someone is not impressed" but then continues to say... "A partner, friend or loved one invites you out. He or she wants to indulge you.".
Another horoscope I read (cancer) states.. "Your mind is playing tricks on you. It can't be trusted. Go with your heart."

Ultimately...of course...I am gonna go with my decision. :). Just thought it interesting as to how we see what we want to see .. or what we fear.. in horoscopes. And suddenly.. that general purpose paragraph...is aimed right at you...

so..I am confused... oh well..:D

As personal as it gets

I remember... when I started this blog... it was mostly a log of my life. Nothing important. Then... there was a time.. when I used my blog.. as a healer. To write out my innermost thoughts ... so that I would feel better. For the past few weeks, however, I suddenly did not want to write out my thoughts. After all... some of them did not involve me... and I didnt want to write something that I would regret. Today... I realized that I had been unfaithful to my blog. I had vowed to be open...to never have anything to hide... and I was hiding things. So... today...I will write it out in my blog... maybe .. the pain will go away.

I believe I am in love. I have liked this girl since I have known her...(over a year). I have suppressed the feeling.. because...
a) My parents dont approve of love marriages... and I dont like to cause them pain
b)I dont know if the girl would ever like me.
c)She has always only treated me as a friend...

So.. I push this thought to the back of my mind.. and continue with my work. After all, as my dad always tells me.. "your duty is to study. Dont think of anything else". I wonder if he ever followed that... but I do try. Every once in a while.. this thought comes up front.

I go gaga over her everytime... do stupid things around her...and I bet that she thinks I must be nuts. But... thats the way of a lovefool right?
Now.... as I come closer to graduation.... (2.5 weeks away).. I wonder...should I tell her? But I graduate and leave... is it right to trouble her now? what if I come back to Purdue for my masters??

More importantly... how much in love am I? I know I like her a lot. I cannot explain it...in words. I think I may even bug her very often.. but thats only because I like to talk to her. I think that annoys her... but I just cannot control myself.

There is this whole concept... of ignoring the person you like. because.. when you pursue someone.. they tend to not like you as much. It is psychological. When someone pursues us, we naturally think that we are better than them... And yet... I "pursue" this girl. Try to chat with her... talk to her all the time. I dont know why...I really dont.

I think I will tell the girl I love her. And let the world take whatever course it wants to. I think I will be prepared for rejection. And I should also be prepared for questions from my parents and relatives.. who read this blog from time to time. But... love is something that one cannot stop. It's natural..isnt it? So.. how can they even question me? but they will. And now...I think I am prepared.

I can picture my dad telling me at this stage "You should not think of such things now. It is not the age for it. Dont let anything distract you from your studies". To him, my education is more important than anything else in my life. It was like that for me too. My education was more important than living life. It "was". The last few years have changed me. It is not that education is not important any more. It is just that there are other things that I need to learn in life that are equally important...if not more. People skills.... some dress sense...some knowledge in arts... some knowledge outside the world of books and computers and circuits. I think I have been able to make a good start in learning those... and I fully intend to go all the way:)

somehow.. my heart still feels heavy after writing this blog. I know it can and probably will hurt some people. I have spoken badly about my dad. But he loves me.. and only wishes the best for me. It's just that I dont always agree with him:).

on the 19th of December, I hope to obtain my degree in Electrical Engineering... and that day..will ..most probably.. be my last at Purdue. I have made many good friends here... and many many acquaintances. I wonder if I will ever see them again. so.. the heart is a bit heavy because of that too. But ... there is a "Whole new world" out there.. as Aladdin told princess Jasmine... and let me see where my 'magic carpet' takes me...

My Damn Day

Today I am mad at myself. I have been so distracted all day!! Did not do anything that I intended to do. And I didnt even help my teammate much while we were working on our final project. And the damn project. Circuits that worked when we initially designed and tested them... DO NOT WORK NOW!!! AAAAAAAARGH!!! What is it with these damned circuits. Well.. maybe a little bit of screaming will help me relax a bit.

Anywayz... today.. I think I have made some important decisions. Have to see if I stick to them. Putting this in writing may hopefully make me stick to them. God Bless me and give me the courage to do what I think is right. Thank You:)

Some pics from my thanksgiving trip

My Cousin's Backyard.... after the snowstorm

My Neices.. making a snowman

Chicago skyline at sunset.. a meagre 4:23pm even after Daylight Saving Time was implemented

Yours truly......at the museum campus

ChooseChicago.com: Chicago Events, Hotel and Restaurant Information and More

ChooseChicago.com: Chicago Events, Hotel and Restaurant Information and More

I spent the gobble gobble day showing a friend around Chicago. Actually... 2 friends.

it started on Wednesday. I was planning to rent a car and go to Chicago. my neighbour wanted to see Chicago.. as he hadnt ever seen the touristy side of Chicago. Some other friends were supposed to come... but they couldnt make it. However... we had a last minute addition in this freshman guy who had contacted us before he came to Purdue.. and who we had helped out... by way of advice.. but never actually met. Anywayz... the car was booked.. and Wednesday came up nice and decent. It was raining a bit all day... but hey.. a li'l bit of rain never hurt anyone. right?? So.. we left at 3:30pm... so that we could be in Chicago by evening... go to downtown.. get some Indian food at the famous Devon street there (it's the "Little India" of Chicago). Well... mother nature had other plans. I ended up driving through the season's first snowstorm (my very first time driving in snow... and the other 2 guys dont have licenses here... just my luck!!) Well.. 6 hours later... the three of us trudged into my cousin's place in Chicago.. having eaten at a taco bell on the way... as Devon Street seemed unachievable at the rate we were moving at.

The snow was beautiful. We had a quick breakfast... played a bit in the snow... and headed out to downtown.. to see some stuff. So.. Sears tower.... the museum campus.. buckingham fountain... and navy pier were all explored... with lunch at a subway on the way...We got lost a bunch of times...no thanks to a hopeless set of navigators;). The free street parking on public holidays was a great boon. The weather was nice and clear.. and we got some great shots. Then... off to Devon street to grab a quick bite... and then... back to Purdue. This time.. the lack of snow on the roads let me get back in 3 hours....(though we did get lost... and roam around Chicago due to misreading some signs.. and some terrible navigation again...) Now... am reading a nice book in my warm room munching on some danish cookies that we picked up on the way...(The fourth K by Mario Puzo... seems an interesting read)
Some pics will be up in the next blog:)
hope you all had a great time. Happy Thanksgiving. And Thank You... for being what you have always been.. a nice visitor to my blog... and a great person. I know you may have your faults.. but you definitely have a great bit of good in you... so Thanks for being that special person:)

Updates

Ok... it's been a while since I have posted anything about my life. So.. maybe some updates are in order...even at the risk of posting twice in one day.

Life has become sort of monotonous...sleep..eat... do homework... go to classes (or atleast some of them)...sit on the computer... play games...yeah.. you get the point. Nothing exciting as such.

Well, I did go for a show last weekend... a Diwali show. Diwali (short for deepavali), the Indian festival of lights... celebrating.. as always... the victory of good over evil... and also...to welcome the goddess of wealth. In India, people, much to the chagrin of environmental activists, burst a whole bunch of firecrackers. This causes all kinds of pollution. Birds are burnt to death.. and other animals cringe at the high decibal 'bombs' used. One is supposed to light up the house so as to show the path for the goddess of wealth. Diwali was one of my favourite festivals.. not least because of the firecrackers I burst. That's one thing I miss.

However... at Purdue, the Indian Student Association put up a very fine show with Dances and skits. So...I went for it. I decided to dress up and wear my 'sherwani' (a long flowing Indian dress). I do have a few pics....but my dad says that pics of me posing with girls is harmful for my marriage prospects. So... that picture shall not be posted on my blog. And that was the most exciting part of my week. err month.

Thanksgiving break is coming up... and I am planning to go to Chicago... watch the parade. Just for a few days... and head back to get other work done.
Well... thats the update.

These are a few of my favourite things

The sound of music is a movie I can watch multiple times. I like the songs... and this song is no different. "My Favourite things". If Julie Andrews can list out her favourite things...I thought I should too....you know, it is always good.

- greenery / scenery after a rainfall when the dust has settled down and everything looks like it has been washed.
- The smell of damp earth... when it rains after a hot spell
- cuddling up under a quilt with a nice book when it's cold outside.... and warm inside.
- The faint smell of perfume... as that beautiful girl walks by
- The salivating love of a dog being scratched on the neck
- An unexpected mail or a message... just saying hello:)
- the warm gurgling of a stream...or even the drip-drip of water after a downpour
- The sound of waves crashing on the beach
- The dark blackish colour of the sky just before a thunderstorm.
- and the bright sunlight after the clouds part
- little kids laughing and playing
- A true smile...
- Especially when given by a stranger just walking by...
- Sunrise after a night of staying up......
- a song that matches my mood...
- walking in the rain (in warm weather)
- A heavy snowfall that leaves everything white
- A full moon in the sky.... surrounded by stars
- a bright blue sunny day
- the sudden change from barren trees to trees laden with flowers and leaves in spring
- dew .. or water as such.. on the plants.... early in the morning...
- chirping of birds at dawn
- the look on the face when a person gets teased:D >:D
- Grandparents
...

Somewhere, over the rainbow

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

- Wizard of Oz
music by Harold Arlen and lyrics by E.Y. Harburg

Narcissus and goldmund n My career...an introspection

Google Print: Narcissus and Goldmund

I just got done reading Narcissus and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse. Before this I read Magister Ludi (aka The Glass Bead Game) by the same author..and Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. While reading those books, I wondered why I was taking so long to read them. I thought I was getting too busy. But the truth struck me today. Those books...did not move me... this one did.

I was reading this book in the bathroom. I like reading in the bathroom. Somehow...I feel more at ease. There is no computer to distract me.....nor ppl. I also think my deepest thoughts as I stand in the shower...oblivious to the huge wastage of water and time. Actually...it is a wastage of water...not of time. Despite it being 4 am, I am happy that I spent the last half an hour in the shower...contemplating the book I just finished and my life in general.

This book...kept me interested as it kept moving at random. It was this randomness that appealed to me. Another thing was some kind of botherhood that I felt with the protoganist. Goldmund...or golden mouth...was a wanderer. Women could not resist him....he was a veritable Don Juan de Marco. Nothing could hold his attention for long. He was a hard worker though..and strived to be happy. He longed for true love...that he ultimately experienced ...only...through his "Mother". She was inside him.....a representative of his mother who had left him when he was a baby. Yet...in her..he also saw the holy mother....and all the women he met in his travails as a wanderer. He was also an artist... and could visualize things..but never think mathematically or logically.
No...I am not irresistible to women...nor am I as great a lover as to be compared with Don Juan De Marco. But nothing holds my attention span for long. I work hard...yet only just enough. And I am still seeking that something that I want. I am searching for that goal in life...that very same thing that Goldmund spent all his life searching for. This comes at a very troubling stage of my life. On one side...I want to do graduate school. I know I am good enough to do decently well..if I put in half an effort. But..somehow..EE doesnt move me. Atleast not all of it. I enjoyed vast parts of it...but right now..right here...I am not sure what I liked most. I know I am not a mathematician. I cannot think like one. I am a decent programmer....sufficiently logical...I enjoyed Physics (mechanics) in the past..and yet...I dont know if I will in the future. And I have to finish applying to colleges.
On the other hand....I can try for a job. I read my resume recently..and suddenly realized...I had been expecting the interviewer to see my resume and decipher my hidden signals to determine what I had done. I have always dreamt of a recruiter..who would take one look at my resume...recognize my true potential ... and hire me on the spot. Oh..I have been rudely awakened multiple times...but yet...I persist. But now..that I have realized this..I guess I will make more of an effort to sell myself. But I dont know if I want to..... I havent really worked that hard at getting a job.
Then..there is the ever present college work. Keeping me on campus till I get tired...then home to watching movies..and lazing.

I think I am a wanderer ...coming to Purdue was one step in my wanderings...it had taught me a lot. And now, I feel I am getting ready to move on. But where to? what is it that moves me? What it is that really moves me....
For my interviewing class, I read that I was supposed to do a complete self analysis and realize my strengths and weaknesses. Only then could I find a job that fit me well. And thats what I was thinking when I thought all of the above in the shower....
Maybe I shld list my strengths and weaknesses

Strengths n weaknesses (Plz...no comments on this part unless u have something to add...I am just listing them for myself. I think I know this about myself pretty well... )
- Am decently intelligent. That is my major source of ego. And my problem. For I think that it must be apparent...that I dont need to sell it. After all, selling oneself is like....boasting...something that people do not like. And I boast too!!
- I am lazy..yet work hard enough to do that which I need to.
- I am highly principled...atleast when it comes to judging myself. My guiding principles, I like to believe, are... honesty, integrity, faithfulness, doing my own work, being sensitive to others..love for my family.....cannot think of more...are there more?
- I am selfish. In that I put my personal happiness as most important. But then again, I find happiness in making other ppl happy:)
- I am almost a perfectionist. What I do, needs to be perfect....now if only my attention span was better.....
- I talk a lot. Yet...I am a poor communicator. I do not know how to "handle" people.
- I appreciate change. I strive for it. I need it to be happy...to not get bored. I strive for getting to look at things with a different view. Not successfulll all the time...but the attempt is made

I find myself a contradiction. I cannot be very artistic... in fact... I never was a great critic of art. To me, it is the big and the magnificent that is truly noteworthy. nature...with it's tremendous variety..it's immenseness... totally mesmerizes me. Thats why I like photopgraphy....good photography captures a beauty that exists. So...I cannot handle abstractions.
Yet...brain games have ceased to interest me. Once...I found them interesting.... but now...I am indifferent to them. I am not motivated enough. I actually am beginning to prefer building physical skills....skills that I didnt care much for till now. Am I actually losing my brain? is it wasting away for lack of exercise? Frankly...I dont really care.

Now...I am almost getting bored with my attempt at self analysis. Maybe......some other day.....once again....

Till then....

Life, no wife... no strife!!Yay!!;)

heyya pplz
whats going onnn?? Things have settled down a bit for me... and thats the way things should be:). I have been procrastinating, however, on a few things related to college.. and I need to get down to them pronto... but then.. it's also been a case of a whole bunch of work that I HAD to do. well.. it's all relative.. and I know I should have been a bit more hard working.

Well.. yesterday...I saw this video of some guys who did some funky stuff around campus. One guy dressed up as a banana...and walked around campus. every so often... 2 guys dressed as monkeys drove up on a van and "abducted" the banana. They also chased the "banana" through a few classes as they were in session. One report I heard that half a class left after these guys left the classroom. Apparently some people had come into the class with the sole intention of watching the incident!! If u want, u can watch it here: Linkie . Be warned that it is a 63 MB file in wma format and may not play properly as it needs a lot of bandwidth.

Contemplating on my life, I have realized that I often do not sleep early. As gemmak said the other day, some people just cannot sleep early.. and thats my problem. I stay up late doing nothing as such. And then...I am so tired all day long that I end up not getting any work done. So.. now...I have begun to take a few naps... in case I dont get enough sleep. This helps me get more done:):):).

As regards my whole "craze" for girls... somehow.. things have totally mellowed me out. No longer do I feel any inclination to go out and try. It is a kind of slow anticipation.. that what must happen...will happen. And I really dont have any time right now... so no empty mind for the devil (or even cupid) to play around with...This somehow feels much more familiar:)

Last Friday, I went to the local night club with some friends... as I was sick and tired after a horrible week. My parents called just as I was leaving.... and I spoke with them on the walk there... and I told my poor mom that I would drink. How could I resist it... when I told her that I was going to the night club, she got a bit flustered and said "So, you will go there and drink coke?". Now... I mean... she was just worried I know... but I had to tease her..so I said.. I would go and drink some alcoholic drink;). Looks like my mom took it pretty well (she is used to my teasing her I guess)... but my dad apparently got worried... as he spoke with my sister and asked her to "handle" me and keep an eye on me as he was worried;). My pooor dad. The thing is.. I no longer have the disgust for alcohol that I had earlier. Back then, alcohol was something that had , in a sense, destroyed some of my loved ones. Today...I realized.... that they had just been unable to handle the sweet poison that alcohol is. And it had consumed them. And this had affected the entire family:(. Well... anywayz... I realized that behaving stuck up on alcohol only isolates u from the public... and if someone wants to drink.. they may as well do so. Who cares .. right? Unless it is family..or close friend:).
To make a long story short...I dont drink...because I dont trust myself enough to control myself once I start. Peer pressure does exist to some extent.. but now, I can actually hang out with my friends who drink..even when they go drinking:). And thats fun in itself. I can always act drunk at a night club and dance like I was drunk. I dont have any sense of coordination anywayz;)

lemme put up a few pics...that I took recently..:
In San Francisco.. when I went to visit my sis... (click to see larger size)


View from my window.. a few days ago... (click to see the full pic)


Now.. the tree above has lost all it's leaves.. but the picture reminds me of the beauty. All that was missing was a little child..sitting on that golden floor... reading a book. Or even a girl... :)

Have a spectacular weekend people:)

P.S: I have seen a few good movies recently (in the past few weeks)...and havent mentioned earlier in my blog...or so I think. Well.. see them if u can...
No Man's land
Pride and Prejudice - the miniseries
The mating habits of the earthbound human
The Boondock saints
When Harry met Sally
Paycheck


P.P.S: Some new songs in playlist... and some removed...

Who I wanna be...

My Inner Hero - Paladin!





I strive to help others, and to bring truth and harmony to the world however I can. Whether times are good or bad, you can always count on me. I'm a shoulder to cry on, a champion for the helpless, and an all around nice person.



How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.

Only Time

I can handle things when I know I can do something about it. I can also handle things when I know there is nothing I can do about it. But right now..I am stuck in a situation where I feel I can do something but I have no clue how to go about doing it.. coz anything I do seems to only be able to make it worse... And everytime I think of it... I just feel like screaming out loud... get rid of the frustration...

And on top of it all, college is not exactly forgiving at this stage. Homeworks.. deadlines... papers... exams.

Who cares..right??

well.. anywayz.. life goes on.. and so it has been for a while.

I am scaring myself nowadays. Have become a hopeless romantic... complete anti-thesis of what I was. I'm hoping it's just another stage;). Just saw Notting Hill yesterday night. Or today morning... whatever it was.. saw it from 3-5am. It is that time of the night when I know I should sleep but I dont want to.

I'm waiting for father time to walk along.....to heal... to bring the future. The anticipation of leaving Purdue, my home for over 3 years... the friends I have made here.. and the thought of being a stranger in the middle of nowhere.... also seem to subtly influence my behaviour nowadays. I have begun cutting those strings ... spending more time with myself... so I get used to the lack of the company. Interesting...isnt it??

Added a few songs to the radio blog...
njoy them:)

Lyrics and Music

Lyrics and Music

Everytime I think I dont want to blog...something comes up that makes me change my mind. Nowadays....I have just been a bit sensitive about a topic and I didnt want to bring it up on my blog. Thats why the desire for abstinence.....

but that doesnt happen.
I saw two good movies today. The first was a George Clooney film called "O Brother, Where art thou". It was a happy movie...with some good music.:). Made me happy...think positive thoughts.

Now...I just got done watching this korean movie called "My Sassy Girl". Ahhhh my heart is in bits and pieces now. Such a sweet movie.......made me laugh and made me cry. The only english song was this one...a song I have always heard somewhere and liked a lot:)

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.
When it's cold outside I've got the month of May.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).

I've got so much honey, the bees envy me.
I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).

Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooooh.

I don't need no money, fortune, or fame.
I've got all the riches baby one man can claim.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
with my girl.
I've even got the month of May
with my girl (fade)

- The Temptations

Ahh....that music.
Maybe I'll put it on my radio blog....
:)

EDIT: I have put some of my fav songs on my radio blog. Just click to play....

Second post of the day

Well..I had more or less decided I wouldnt post... but since I was on my blog...I visited a few blogs... and posted a few comments... and came across some interesting stuff... and so..all said and done...I found something to blog about. Traffic in India. Now... I have driven in India....I have been in teeny weeny accidents while riding my "Moped" around town...for a little over 4 years of my life. So... this though funny..is pretty true. I copied the joke... scoured the net.. and found reasonable pics of things that one can expect on Indian roads. Most images are linked to the site where I found them or to larger images. Read on....

Driving in India

For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, Here are some hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except the state of Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer. Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company.

The hints are as follows:

Do we drive on the left or right of the road?

a.. The answer is "both". You start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction. Don't get discouraged or underestimate yourself; except for a belief in reincarnation, the other drivers are not in any better position.

a.. Pedestrian Crossings: Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

a.. Blowing your horn: is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts), or just to mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar.

a.. Books: Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rain-waters to recede when over-ground traffic meets underground drainage.

a.. Night driving and trucks: on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for those with the mental makeup of Genghis Khan). In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught.

Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk roads.

a.. Daytime driving and trucks: During the daytime, trucks are more visible, except that the drivers will never show any signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals; they are the greater threat). Only, you will often observe that the cleaner who sits next to the driver, will project his hand and wave hysterically. This is definitely not to be construed as a signal for a left turn. The waving is just an expression of physical relief on a hot day.

a.. UFOs: Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi):

a.. The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds:

a.. The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes:

a.. Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street:

a.. These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type.

a.. Lest I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting. If, after all this, you still want to drive in India, have your lessons between 8 pm and 11 am-when the police have gone home. The citizen is then free to enjoy the 'FREEDOM OF SPEED' enshrined in the Indian constitution.

Having said all this, the accident rate and related deaths are less in India compared to US or other countries!!

Nice Links:
http://pages.intnet.mu/fullspot/India.htm
http://www.martinbray-ukloco.com/goaattractions.htm

Today

Back from California.
just got a few things occupying my mind nowadays.. and I dont think I can update my blog for a while.
Hope you have a Great time....
And to keep me thinking positive...I have this picture...of a beautiful village in the swiss alps......

Amazon.com: Books: Heidi (Children's Classics)

Amazon.com: Books: Heidi (Children's Classics)

Remember that mountain paradise that I spoke of..... It is based off a mental image that I had as a child.. from this wonderful book: Heidi.

saw Love Actually once again.......

"All you need is love....(pipipepepeee) All you need is loove(pipipepepee)... All you need is love...love... love is all you need!!!"

Its a beautiful dayyyyyyyy

Well Well Well
2 nights of staying up till late. Very Late. and getting verrry little sleep. But I am pumped. (Sleepy... but pumped). You know why? Coz I am DONE!!!! (with my homework of course...:S). Was up till 5:30am Wed morning to finish a homework due at 1:30 on Wed. Then... spent all day and all night in lab (except for 2 hrs when I ate dinner..relaxed..and went back). So.. was in lab till 5:30am again..on Thursday... ended up sleeping at 7. Woke up at 10:35 to come to work. And here I am... half dozing... a third awake... and a third Pumped :D. Hehehehe. I think I survive on adrenalin alone at times like thisss....and that makes me hyper!!!

sheesh..I can barely type. Circuits keep swimming in my brain as voltage rails stretch away to infinity....and I realize..I am dreaming....or is the term nightmaring real? In either case... as my title says.. its a BEEYOOOTEEEFOOL day!!!. So enjoyyy people... for this is one more day for you to make the most of what you have.

P.S. Once I get my laundry done ...I can get readddyyyy to leave forrrrrr Sann Franciscoooooooooooo!!! yeppp pplz... I am spending my 4 day october break (including this weekend) in sunny San Francisco at my sisterrsss place. Wahoooooooooooooogaaaaa!!!

No man is an island

No man is an island...... or for that matter... no person is an island..or can be.

Just saw the movie "About a Boy"... pretty nice film... subtle... funny... and ahh... it made me cringe at points..where I realized the little hero commit some of those social blunders. All in all..the movie told me... No man is an island. As li'l Marcus tells us... We all need backup. In family. In friends. In enemies. Thats what makes life worth living.... never for yourself.. but for others. Of course.. that doesnt mean you dont be self centred. You just be self centred to the right extent.

My horoscope for the day, courtesy yahoo:> The water is not as perilous as it seems. The tide will lead you back to shore.

Hehe

Our Father, who art in heaven......

Today, the 2nd of October, is the day that Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi came into this world in 1869. More commonly known as Mahatma Gandhi. This man, dared to dream. He dared others to follow his dream. One involving non violence. Involving intellect rather than brawn. He, was a true geek. He used the strength of his mind to bring down an empire that had been built by using mind power to overcome sheer numbers.

As I see it, the British used psychological warfare to take over, and control their colonies. And Mahatma Gandhi was one of those who realized that. So..he fought mind with mind.. and had his original dream come true, he would have achieved success without any bloodshed. I have read about people who felt that Gandhi was not secular. That he had many faults. And I totally agree with them. After all, he was human. But the main point of the matter was that he dared to dream.. and dared others to make his dream come true. It is this spirit that I truly admire.

Thinking of Gandhi reminded me of my own grandfather. As far as I know, my grandfathers were not anti british. In fact.. they were probably pro british. Both of them lived pretty pro-western lives and they seemed to like western goods. And neither of them were freedom fighters. As far as I know.

I have this deep desire to talk with my grandfathers. Find out what their lives were like. Find out how they coped with it. Somehow, I feel a very close relationship with my maternal grandfather. I wish that he had not passed away...only those 3 years ago. I wish he was alive today..to see me as I am... and discuss with me, about life. At this juncture in life, when so much seems to be making sense.. and yet so much is a maze, I wish he was here to just speak with me. And then again...I feel his touch. I think of him smiling at me from heaven... and able to hear every word I think.

My paternal grandfather died before I was born. I was named after him. To this day, I hear stories about his brilliance and his extremely naughty childhood. But what was he like? Who can tell me? Maybe I should ask my grandmother.... or my dad. My dad told me that he was very close to his father. Sometime...I should make time and talk to him about this.

random thought
Once again, it makes me think, everything major that one learns in life, one learns from one's own experiences. One can be taught only so much. Once again.....I come to Siddhartha...by Hermann Hesse (do read my earlier blog on it...if u want more info).
So, what will I learn? What am I learning??
/random thought


Today, I went with some friends to a party. An Indian Student Association After party actually...at a bar. But I felt so out of place there. I somehow... suddenly realized.. that I am a useless conversationalist. I can talk forever... but I cannot maintain a conversation. I run out of topics pretty fast. Well.. anyway...I ended up being the designated driver for a friend's car (being sober..).. and I ended up talking with another friend on the phone for an hour... while my friends went to an After After party after the bar closed, at another guy's apartment. And I wonder why I even try. I try to fit into something I cannot. I mean, I get along fine with these guys in normal life. But I just cannot party the way they do.

I just feel so different here. I should head home. To India. And live in a remote corner of the mountains. where there is a morning mist... and little flocks of sheep... and gardens...or atleast greenery. Ahh to live in such a paradise.

Cooks and Books

Okies... Amazon has an excellent book store. I like reading reviews there. Sooo...I have linked it from here.

First....lets talk about cooks.
Cooks. They can be awesome or awful. In India, having cooks is common enough. I have experienced a fair share of both kinds. But the best part about cooks is they rhyme with books.

Today, I went back to the library to pick up some books. Having finished the alchemist, I have had no good reading material for a few days now. Today, I picked up 3 books after returning Pride and Prejudice.
1) Narcissus and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse
2) The Glass Bead by Hermann Hesse (He won the nobel prize for this)
3) Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen.

I also put in a request for "A Suitable Boy" by Vikram Seth that was checked out.
And most importantly, I managed to recollect the name of a book I read a few months ago. This book managed to bring tears to my eyes... maybe because I related some of the characters with people very close to me. The book is "Ladies Coupe" by Anita Nair. I had picked it out of the "New Books" section of our library last year as it was an Indian Author. Do read it if you can. Here is a link abt the book:
->Link<-

Well, with that, I take leave of you all. Babye:)

lateral thinking or how mohan became a romantic

Well...I was gonna answer Enjay's question in the last post directly... and then I realized... I just cannot afford to fit it all in a simple comment. So... here is a blog on that.

First off, I myself am not sure as to what brought about this change. I do have a few speculations.....

My sis is romantic to the deepest depths of her heart. Seeing her, I always knew that I had to balance it by being as unromantic as possible. Sooo... now that she's married ( she got married this March) ...I feel more able to express myself;)

On the other hand, this seems to just be something that has happened mostly in the last one year. Maybe it is because I see so many of my friends hitched. Or maybe it is because I just happen to meet so many great gals!!! But it just happens that I am hopelessly in love with em. As Abhishek Bachchan tells Saif Ali Khan in the movie "Hum-Tum", no matter how tough and strong guys may appear on the outside, when it comes to the heart, we are always weaker than women. Or so it seems.
Now, I know that my affections are totally unreasonable. And I know that all this is a by product of having too much time on my hands. So...I simbly try to wait it out. I believe that if I wait long enough, the feelings will just pass. That I will become more realistic. But... there needs to be some outlet right? And thats where my blog comes in. And thats why I appear so romantic on my blog (at times). Coz... this is where it all ends up.

And my Chicago trip was really nice. I met up with a bunch of my younger cousins ranging from 3years to 10 years old. And their parents. Hehehe. Had fun calling them Uncles and Aunties when they are all only in their mid thirties. Hehehehe. The best part was my 3 year old cousin. He would ask me to come upstairs with him. Then make me sit down...on the carpet.. and then lie down. All so he could tickle me!!! hehehe. As Lisa keeps saying.. Kids are soo much fun!!!
Another cousin / neice (she is both to me .. as I am related to both her parents) demonstrated her abilities in climbing trees, something I was very proud of doing as a kid. Memories of the faithful guava tree in our front yard came flooding back. Those were the days.. when I would climb up on the tree (not for the guavas as the street urchins would pluck them before they ever got a chance to become partially ripe)... simply to hang out. I would use it as a swing.. as monkey bars.. as a hammock. It was a special tree!!!

Blogs have this amazing healing ability. To me, my blog is my diary. It patiently listens to whatever I want to say without ever passing judgement on me. Thank You.
And thank you dear S, for getting me started on blogging.

Why???

I have this outstanding ability to deny myself of sleep. Take today for example. I could have easily gone to sleep by 3 am (late..but still...with my first class at 1:30...doable). But guess what?? I had other plans. So I started watching this film called Varsham (meaning 'rain' in telugu). The heroine was pretty cute... and somehow...since I have become a sucker for love stories....I just had to see it. Being an Indian movie, it had its share of song and dance sequences. Some of them were really nice songs. Soo.... just sat watching it till 5:40am.

This always happens. Somehow...I read a book...or watch a movie...or just randomly browse...but I dont sleep early. Sad:(. Especially as I simply adore sleep:(

*yaaaaaaaawn*
Gnite folks. Sleep well:)

Why am I the lonely goatherd

linking to another blog relating the story behind the song by that name in that...oh so awesome movie: The Sound of Music.

So.. why am I the lonely goatherd? I dont know!! I really dont know. I selected that name by random. Maybe I had some hidden subconscious reasons. I will try to elaborate on some of them.

I am a star wars fan. Noo..I am not crazy about them and I dont go around buying star wars merchandise and enacting star wars stuff. But I like the movies. Especially the first three. They were well made movies with nice plots and amazing graphics for that time. Soo...I liked them. So.. naturally Han Solo was a name I was familiar with. But... my name is Mohan...or Mo for short (yeah yeah... my sis calls me that.. and my neices call me Momama {meaning Uncle Mo}). Sooo.. Mo Solo.

Now, I know solo means single. Single means lonely:(. And since another of my fav movies was The Sound of Music (the songs of which I have been listening to since my childhood... some of those rare songs that I actually listened to actually). So, the word Lonely automatically got associated with the song... and I called myself.. Mo Solo, the Lonely Goatherd. Or so...I have analyzed and figured out.

As Numphol said...I AM in Chicago now. Drove down here...to meet my neices and other relatives. Yeahhh..I have been travelling a lot nowadays. Have driven a lot this sem, especially as I have confidence in my driving now!!!

well..I better go and sleep now. My cousin fully intends to wake me up at 7 am as she has been having difficulty in staying asleep later than 4:30. So...adios ppl. cya all soon.

Alchemy.....what might it truly be?

I just read the book "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho. It was gifted to me by a friend, and I had almost refused it, if only she hadnt made such a big fuss about it. The vagaries of life eh!! Well.. it's a nice book.

The book is an easy read. You can actually find the text of the book at the related link. It's a small simple book.. and it attempts to figure out how to be truly happy. And that is..to follow your Personal Legend. To seek out that which your heart wants for you. And to not fear anything that may obstruct your path. For, if your heart truly desires it, you will achieve it. Just listen to your heart. For if you wont, you may be happy for a while.. but you will not be truly happy.

So.. be yourself my dear reader. Follow your heart, even if it means changing your life totally. Even if it means risking everything in pursuit of something that you have no clue about. And dont worry about harming those that you love or those that love you. For, true love, will only push you along.. give you the strength to face your fears and achieve your Personal Legend. (Personal Legend: That thing your heart desires and you have always wanted to be or do.. but may have covered up.. in order to listen to the wishes of someone else or because you were afraid to hurt someone)

I speak of personal legends as if I know about them like the back of my hand. Unfortunately or fortunately, I have never really felt that desire. I have had temporary wishes... desires that last a few days.. a few weeks..or even a few months. But seldom have I felt it affect me for long. Maybe I am already in pursuit of my personal legend. And dont know about it. But I think I am happy. And I believe I will be happy. And so I live. And so I live.

Mohan Rokkam soon to be BSEE

Me going for job fair ... smart and savvy;)

Yeah, it's been a decent time. My roommate had an interview with a company!!! and they called him for dinner... and again..he has another interview tomm!! Greatt ehh!! I do hope he gets the job that he wants!!! He sure works hard enough:)

in other news, I am happy and sad. Sad..as my cell phone company overcharged me by around 14$ for this month. Happy..coz my new shared plan, with a friend just arrived from India, gives us 1100 minutes instead of the 900 that we thought we had!! Some special deal!!

I'm getting set to do some travelling. Going this weekend to Chicago to visit relatives. After that, on Oct 9th, heading to San Francisco to meet my sis!!! Yeahh.. I'm spending money like water as my dad would say:(. But its all for a good cause:D

Good Luck people. Have a great time:)

They took our jooobs

yeah..its that time of the year again.. when I get to dust out my suit and tie and wear it to the Industrial Round Table (One of the largest job fairs on campus with around 200 companies visiting). Anywayz...today was the first day of the fair. We dressed to kill and went out early in the morning. I did manage to get into a lot of the lines before they got too long. The only problem was...I am not allowed to apply for a majority of the jobs (or to a majority of the companies) at the job fair. Why? Coz I am an international student:). Yeah... so... I went there... passed my resume out to a few nice ppl.. and now.. am at work. Well Well Well.. what else can I do?

The main reason I went to the job fair was to pick up some free stuff. Companies always bring these nifty little cheap made in china gadgets to hand out. I got mini radios..staplers...sticky notes... T shirts...(almost always a size too large).. pens.. soaps... stuff!! As long as I was handing out resume's, it wouldnt look good. Once that's done with, I will head out again.. and pick up free stuff!! (maybe a change of clothes.. and sunglasses will allow me to stay incognito. mwuahahahaha)

awrighty... take care pplz and njoyyy. I will update with some pics if possible. Till then.... laterzzz

Current Affairs

Of late... I have noticed something about me. I have become totally indifferent. To everything. I mean..I do my work.. I talk to ppl...I get on with life.. but in reality..I dont give a penny for anything or anyone else. I sometimes wonder if it was the same Mohan. I mean....earlier...I read 2-3 forums regularly, read the news every few hrs.. and was really concerned with the lives of ppl around me and my own. Now..I dont really care. True...I still read a few blogs.. but I am no longer that interested in anything anymore. I dont have the drive to really go and do something.

And to tell you the truth...I wouldnt have realized this till a friend said that I was acting different. He was worried that something was wrong. And my drinking all of a sudden convinced him that I was some kind of Devdas (ref: protoganist of an Indian tragedy who takes to alcohol to overcome his dejection). Anywayz.. I just realized that I didnt care for anyone anymore. That.. nothing really mattered.

Maybe it is senioritis. Maybe I am just tired of thinking. Whatever it is... It doesnt really matter.. coz... nothing seems to be able to affect me. I mean.. even my computer or my crushes dont bring any kind of feeling out of me anymore.

Yeah.. the word is indifferent.


P.S. Coming to think of it... this really happened the day after I got drunk. Hmmm.

Addictions galore.

It's been a long weekend. I have done nothing at all. Just decided to take up another addiction this time around. So.. started gaming.

Am playing Call of Duty: United Offensive (The expansion pack to Call of Duty). Now... this is the kind if game that I am typically addicted to. I started off with this tiny game called God Of Thunder (2-D, ooold game.).. after my 10th. Then...after finishing that over my summer break, I got addicted to Wolf 3d during my 11th-12th. (that first famous game by Id software). Then came Duke Nukem 3d. There was this other game that I also played... but I simply cannot remember it's name. it was a first person shooter too. All these games...I finished during my 11th-12th. I also played Spyro (Ripto's rage), Demolition Derby (I think), Gran Turismo (3 I think), Tekken 4, Duke something, all on my PS... but this was mostly during hols.. and later... when I was tired of studying and the stress started getting to me at the end of my 12th. I didnt finish up all these games at that time... so I played them.. and some others.. especially in that 1 year b4 I came to the US and after my 12th.

After I came to the US, halfway through my second sem, I got addicted to Medal Of Honor, Allied Assault (The precursor to Call of Duty). I spent an entire week on it.. and at the end of it.. my college life was a wreck. I was out of sync with a lot of classes.. and by the end of it, I could not catch up properly with most of my classes. It sucked. Since that day, I have rarely played many games. I am too scared that I would become addicted. I have played Need For Speed(5, HP2 and Underground), Warcraft3, Call of Duty... and thats about it. And that too... I played mostly during holidays.. etc.

I do have a great fear of getting addicted. I have this uncontrollable fear of being unable to control myself. I feel I should be in complete control over myself. Rarely happens... I know... the heart and mind often come to conflict... but atleast..I dont want to be under the control of some external influence. Or atleast.. not be under it's influence for long.

Wonder how long it will take for life to play a cruel joke on me.. such that I end up doing those very things I vowed not to do.


Edit:
p.s. Just wanted to add that I have finished this game. So.. onto better things now:D

Drinking

Yesterday...I decided... I have had enough of a dry life. So...I decided to go get drunk. And I did. First time in my life... and probably the last too. The alcohol wasnt really that great.. and I realized I could have the same amount of fun when I was more in control of my body:).

Eyes on Me

Another song I really like... My Korean friend TJ sent it to me.. and I never really liked it much then.... but it grew on me... especially.. the lyrics. I have put in bold... parts that I like best:)

Faye Wong - Eyes On Me


Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me

Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper

How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
did you ever know
That I had mine on you

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if your're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

I wont dance

I won't dance, don't ask me
I won't dance, don't ask me
I won't dance, Madame, with you
My heart won't let my feet do things that they should do

You know what?, you're lovely
You know what?, you're so lovely
And, oh, what you do to me
I'm like an ocean wave that's bumped on the shore
I feel so absolutely stumped on the floor

When you dance, you're charming and you're gentle
'specially when you do the Continental
But this feeling isn't purely mental
For, heaven rest us, I am not asbestos

And that's why
I won't dance, why should I?
I won't dance, how could I?
I won't dance, merci beaucoup
I know that music leads the way to romance,
So if I hold you in arms I won't dance


I won't dance, don't ask me,
I won't dance, don't ask me
I won't dance, Madame, with you
My heart won't let me feet do things that they want to do

You know what?, you're lovely,
Ring-a-ding-ding, you're lovely
And, oh, what you do to me
I'm like an ocean wave that's bumped on the shore
I feel so absolutely stumped on the floor

When you dance, you're charming and you're gentle
'specially when you do the Continental
But this feeling isn't purely mental
For, heaven rest us, I am not asbestos

and that's why
I won't dance, I won't dance
I won't dance, merci beaucoup
I know that music leads the way to romance
So if I hold you in arms I won't dance!!

I wont dance.. from the soundtrack for "What Women Want" (Frank Sinatra).. also other similar versions sung by others ..can be found on google.

I like this song a lot. What can I say...I cannot dance as it is.. but the words.. are so what I feel like saying.

my latest crush is tC

with that..I take ur leave for tonight... dreaming of someone tap dancing in the background.. and myself.. swaying around a dance floor.. singing this song...with a nice girl...who will be wearing a long flowing dress (with frills too) in white...or pastel shades (or something like peacock blue)....siigh...I can see it all in my mind's eye... just not her face:).

adieu

To wake or not to wake

Today .. I had an interesting start to my day. I slept late, as usual, though I knew I had a class at 7:30am. So..I sleep around 3ish (am). 7am, the alarm in my computer goes off. It is this awesome little program (linked above) that uses the computer motherboard speaker, to make a screeeching sound (I think 1996hertz is the best frequency to wake me up). Anywayz.. I woke up with a start on hearing the screeeching noise. But... decided, half asleep, that it wasnt worth it. Till I realized that my roommates were still sleeping. One of who was in the 7:30 class with me and typically woke up before me to shower and get dressed. Anywayz.. so..I jump out of bed.. and move my mouse to get my monitor out of sleep mode. Till I realize.. that my roommate, in his sleep, has pulled out the plug for the monitor (dorm room's have wierd plug locations). So..I ended up rebooting my computer!! Thats like the 2nd restart in 2 days. WOW. I usually reboot my comp once in 1-1.5 weeks:D.

sheesh....life!!

As I said..to sleep or not to sleep. Thats the question that begs an answer of me but rarely receives it.

Proud and Prejudiced

Ok... I finally got done with 'Pride and Prejudice'. It's a nice book. And I feel compelled to write a few of my own thoughts about it.
It is a nice romantic story.... set in very romantic times. However, the book does have a timeless appeal due to the absolutely adorable nature of the story and the way it still applies to people today. After all, times change... but people dont. I think I am a bit romantic...so I find such things nice and entertaining.
The story, is one of those oft repeated stories (especially in all those romantic comedy movies) where the heroine hates the hero in the beginning... but later realizes that she does not really hate him as he is really awesome guy. So... yeah. But I really like the way in which her emotions are depicted at various instances. One gets the feeling of oneness with the character (even though I am a guy...Hmmm).

Anywayz.... the book I was reading seems to have been done in some english class as it was full of notes and underlined parts... and what not. But I am not distracted by those silly scribbles. I actually noted that some of my favourite parts were underlined...making it easier for me to find later.

Well...it's done. And so am I

To talk or not to talk

Good Morrrning people.

Today... I wanna talk about talking.

Talking... is something I love doing. I was not always like this... but this is how I am now. So... technically, I know both sides. I sometimes see people who behave the way I used to.. and I feel like shouting out to them to change. To get practical. To speak up. To let people know what their way is.. and demand it. But then...I suddenly realized.. life is not something that can be taught. Life can only be experienced.. and learnt. Especially when it comes to your personality. Unless you experience something, you cannot really understand why it may be better...or worse. The book Siddhartha comes to mind instantly. In that, the protoganist (?), Siddhartha, is on the lookout for salvation. He is in search of the true knowledge.. to be free from all worldly problems. This is based in the time of the Buddha.. who has achieved salvation and knows the true knowledge. Siddhartha's close friend decides to stay with The Buddha in order to learn the truth from him. But Siddhartha realizes that the truth cannot be taught. It should be something that will just dawn on you. You can only learn things to a certain extent. But without experience.. it will just be like bookly knowledge. One knows it... without feeling it. It is like knowing all the words in a dictionary... without knowing the language or the grammar.

So.. anywayz... now, I love to talk. I like being nice to people.. and I really like keeping my thoughts out in the open. I am still very shy when it comes to some thoughts... and very careful when it comes to some others. But most of the time, I can keep my feelings / thoughts out for people to see and know. I just cut myself off from them... because few people can actually hurt me. And that too.. in very few ways... and these people dont even know that. Heck, I myself dont know that till they do it. But most of the time... it is the lack of words that hurt me more... than the actual presence of words. It is those unseen gestures... those unsaid words at times of awkward silences that scare me. Thats why I dont like silence. If people are silent, I go ahead and talk.

But I wonder, why should I hide that which I hide? If I like a girl, why cant I go tell them that? Am I scared? Of what? That they will not be friends with me? That they, who have always taken me to be just a friend, or acquaintance, or even unknown person they smile at around campus.. will stop being that? Maybe I like too many women... and I cannot make up my mind. And why does social decorum keep me from being direct at those rare times that I am not? Gah. hehe. I am venting. I really vent on my blog all the time. Maybe I should think positive.. but I AM positive. My blog serves as a vent.. so.. I can remain positive all day long.. and smile and grin and scare people with my big fat face stuck in a permanent happy face.

Yeah. Ask all those people who hated me for being the only person to come out grinning after one of those dreaded EE exams... (Though I was just happy that the exam was done.... and since there was nothing else that I could do about it...I would just be happy)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I drove for 6 hrs yesterday!! Yay... 300 miles added to my tally. Thats 1300 (road trip) + 950 (road trip 2) + 300x2 (2 trips to Chicago)... = ~2850 miles in a month and a half. Thats more than I have driven in a few months in india. (I think I drove a few thousand km on my li'l two wheeler in India....over 4 years). So.. basically went to Chicago to watch a movie. A Telugu Movie (Telugu being my native tongue). The movie was awful... but it was fun. Just spent some time with people.. learnt some new things abt them.. and got back at 2:30am after eating dinner at a nice Indian restaurant at Chicago.

That be life.. and this be college. Welcome back to college Mohan.

It's been a hard day's night

It's been a hard day's night, and I been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright

:)

Been having a lot of work nowadays. Last 2 days.. were more or less like...

lab.. class.. eat.. lab..lab..lab..eat..lab..lab.. homework.. sleep. But then... I feel good to be doing the work. Happy/ fired up.. but tired.

More.. More.. Moore.. gimme more:D

To BMW or not to BMW

The above article on a chinese guy having problems with his BMW... has truly pained me. The 'beemer' does happen to be one of my favourite cars (having had the pleasure of driving it 2 times.. and riding in it many more times). If only ... I could afford a car. Or maybe.. fate has destined for me to buy a BMW as my first car ;)








P.S. I can dream..right??

Web Work

Well,

I finally got most of the website done. It is linked above. And what else... spent most of Saturday, and a greater part of the wee hours of the night into Sunday on it. Later ... did more homework (team meetings) and then.. chilled out with some friends. Then watched the movie "Shaun of the dead". If you dont mind some meaningless blood and gore, this is a HILARIOUS brit movie!! Yeahh!!

Now am reading Pride and Prejudice.

I was reading about the terrible incident in Russia. Just a few months ago, a large number of school children died in a fire accident in Tamil Nadu, India (Link). And now... around 350 ppl dead... including atleast 150 children. Many kids are missing too... as young as 3 years old. It pains the heart to think of those parents and children. My heartfelt condolences to all those people who have lost someone near and dear.

It is at times like this, that I wonder, is this one of nature's ways of controlling population. No, I DO NOT condone such acts. I just wonder. Is this how nature reacts when some species becomes a parasite. The parasites turn upon themselves... cleansing the earth. Maybe I am just in denial. I often wonder .. if someone near to me died... would I be happy that the world has one less person ... or should I be sad... because someone died. After all, in the larger scale of things, the smaller the population, the better it is. It's just a thought that strikes my mind every now and then.

Just to confirm... I AM NOT in favour of killing people. I just wonder about the advantages or disadvanages of such human behaviour in the larger scheme of things.

Love....seems to seek me out for no reason whatsoever. I wonder if it is a true feeling. Whether I am truly capable of loving. Maybe I am just a shallow being... just like I have always been... just like I was extremely fascinated by a fish tank for the first few weeks. And then...got bored of it.. leaving my mom to do all the work. Maybe that's the reason I feel scared to commit. Because..I spend too much time trying to decide on what I truly feel. And maybe...I am too scarred to be open with my feelings.

Actually..I am just lying. I am not in love now. But the above thoughts still hold true. I still have the problems.. and the strife .. I associate with love. Maybe I am only meant to be a "nice guy". Sorry V, you did say that nice guys dont finish last.. but ... nice guys do find it hard to get ahead in the game. They place the loved one on a pedestal, and are too afraid to take advantage of her at the point when she is down. And thats the only time one remembers the nice guys. Thats chivalry, isnt it.

Or maybe...nice guys are just too much of scaredy cats to really do anything. And so... life goes on.

I do think of myself as a nice guy. And I dont intend to be one all the time. I guess it'll take me a while... but I'll be out flying on wings of confidence soon enough:).

~>Ode<~...to those who really dont have a clue in life. To the nice guys.

Cheers.

Updates from a sloth

Hellooo ppl.

I have been away for a while. Classes have started.. and I have been lazy as hell. Not that I havent been busy (My darned team wants me to meet every other day to brainstorm or do some work!!)

Well, all of thursday, I was at work, trying to get a decent blog kinda software running on my college website ( As a kind of online notebook to keep track of our project ). Most such software need MySQL (That is NOT available on this set of computers). I tried PHP only / cgi scripts.. but nothing seems to be working. Waaaaaaaahhhh. I get errors like "Server encountered some error". I really have to talk to the college ppl and figure out what works.. and what doesnt!! You guys have any recommendations?

Thursday was also Pushkar's birthday. So, we had been up till pretty late in the night on wednesday. We sneaked into his dorm and wished him. Then... back to campus to do some more project proposal writing. Back home at 2 am. Slept at 3:30. up at 6:50 for class at 7:30. Sheesh. I dont know how... but I managed to stay awake. then.. as I said...worked all day. Slept early that night.. and slept in on Friday as I didnt have a class till 1:30. Went to class.. and then..relaxed. Saturday was Borna's Birthday. So.. got a cake... and wished her a little after midnight. The guys were playing a strategy game (Axis and Allies) and I just sat around till 4 am when I went to sleep. Friends were up till later. Soo...got up now.. and am at work...

My sniffles seem to have gone. I had been neglecting food a bit these last few days.. and I think that was the reason my sniffles got worse. Not enough nutrition;). So.. ate well these last few days.. and ..ooh lala.. I'm better. Sorry Lisa;), I am too macho manly to think of taking medications.. hehehehehehe;)

Well... just dont feel like sitting on the comp for much longer. Will read for a while.. and then work on my team website.

Peace out ppl. Enjoyy

Ah Ah Ah Ahchoooooooooo

I've been sneezing for ages now. For over a week now...I keep getting bouts of sneezing. Its not a cold...more like a weak cold. I sneeze... and I have a mildly runny nose. It runs a bit.. not crazily. I dont know what to do abt it tho...
GAH

Maybe I need more sleep. Its 2 am and I just got back from working on some project stuff. And a 7:30 class tomm ensures I get only 4 hrs of sleep. Ahh well. Thats life!!!

Gnite folks.. Have a Greatt time!!

I am sooo stooopid

Hmmm
I feel sooo stoopid.
I had a class from 6-9pm. Half the class printed out the online notes.. that the guy had mentioned in the prev lecture (Last week!!). Well.. anyway.. these online notes have fill in the blanks... so I missed filling them in. Especially since I am such a bad note taker.

Also... maybe filling the blanks would have kept me awake. I ended up dozing off for around 15 mins!! IN THE VERY FIRST BENCH!! GAH
See... its not coz the prof is bad or anything. I just tend to fall asleep when there is no action. I guess I am kinda like that.
Well.. anyway.. all said and done.. made a great day suddenly go sour. Well.. not that sour.. but still. If I was fairer...I would be bright red now.I still am bright red. it's just that my brown covers it all!!

Well.. do have phun ppl:D

Mohan.

My life

My life is rated PG.
What is your life rated?

Yeah... my life is rated PG. is that good or bad? Who knows ... ;)

BTW... I was totally tired yesterday. 2 days of low sleep... lotsa work..etc. was just chilling since yesterday evening though. Worked on some stuff... and then went out to get a shake at McDonald's. Now... the McDonald at our college closes early. I am talking before 11pm early!!. The drive through does remain open however. We went there to find it closed at 10:40. So.. we stood near the drivethrough... and the nice guy took our orders;). Did you know... standing in the drivethrough and ordering is illegal for insurance reasons?? But we did not stand IN the drivethrough. We just stood across from the order window..in the parking lot. Well.. anyway..took our shakes... and then... just chilled for a while. Ended up sleeping at 2ish. But... heyy... slept in till 10:45 when I woke up of my own accord!! Yayy!! thats over 8 hours of sleep... and I am happy.

Refreshed is the word. Need to go get some pics taken for some forms I need to turn in tomm. So... enjoyy people:D I'll cya all again soon!!