I am a stalker.
Yes... I AM a stalker.
it scares me at times. I look up random people... pry around on google..trying to find references to them... try to find their pics.. as if I would ever see them in real life. It is an obsession... why? Am I searching for someone or something? I dont know... but it is an obsession.
I used to just find people on websites... maybe some website I found ... some purdue website... someone's comments on some blog.... and then look them up. Some people work hard to hide their identity... I try to guess their identity... see if they have revealed some place that they are a girl or a guy....(I actually saw a video on some blog.. of a person.. teasing his/her cockatail (The bird...).. and I tried to guess the gender by looking at the person's hand. Scary!!! but fun. Maybe it is this wierd high I get with knowledge. The ability to say... Yeahh I Know something about YOU that you did not know I knew!!! Hah!!. As if I would ever meet some of them... or even recognize them if I did.
well.. in my travails... through this blog, I came across this psychological test... of personality. The results were totally unexpected. It totally deflated me.. because I always thought I knew my strong and weak points. So, I wondered... is it because I think too low about some of my abilities that those features have been exaggerated? Or maybe I judge myself too harshly. The idea that I could be wrong about myself... though possible...seems far fetched. I dont know...
Once more...I got some inspiration to write in the shower. I was remembering this line my mom often told me as a kid. "You will remember this when you grow older and wonder why you were such a troublesome kid". Yeah... At that time..I always laughed it off. Thought that I was right in whatever I was doing. Today...I think back.. and my mom's words echo in my mind. I now do wonder at my immaturity... my utter disregard for others (especially my parents)... and my extreme self confidence. I wonder.. why I was such a troublesome kid.
This made me think.. am I really right in doing what I do now. In believing that what I am doing is correct? like... is my confidence in myself justifiable. I am currently pretty confident that, most of the time, I do the right thing. But today... I began to wonder: a few years from now... what will I think of my actions? Will I be happy with my decisions... or will I feel that I was totally wrong?
This feeling is especially accentuated when I remember myself in my freshman year. I thought I was perfect (Or close to perfect...) back then. Never really understood why some people did not like me... or some people laughed at me for my ways.. my sense of dress... etc. Today... I somewhat realize why they did (Though my sense of dress hasnt really improved. But atleast I realize that now... or am I wrong again??)
And I wonder... if so many people have already been there and know better than me... am I that slow? am I maturing slower than others... or have I just been unable to develop some aspects of my personality fast enough? I do know that I was slow in appreciating female beauty around me...how naive I was .... and I know I have been slow in realizing that I have a terrible sense of dress. But I was pretty good at studies. Now..I feel I have depreciated academically .. but appreciated socially. But then... that nagging doubt.. Am I really as right as I think I am?
Hmmm
When I started this blog... I really didnt know what to write... and then... the words just flowed... and now again..I realize..I am just repeating myself. And my attention span.. being so short... has moved on. So shall I.
:)
and my stomach is rumbling... awesome smells from the kitchen. Raghu is AWESOME.
cya...
P.S. How do ya guys like the new layout?? spent a li'l time earlier while I was feeling really sleepy at work.. to move things around.
Friday, July 30, 2004
Family Tree
I have started work on my family tree...
got the software given in the related link. It's pretty nice... but crashed after I had entered in names and birthdays for around half an hour:|. GAH!! Oh well... I have to start again.....sometime later.
I have changed my facial hairstyle again. Shaved off my french beard and moustache.... leaving only a kind of goatie. It's currently thin and long... should I make it something like Aamir Khan's thingie in Dil Chahta Hain... or maybe like VJ Nikhil Chinnappa (For those who remember his look from like 4 years ago...)? Do let me know...
maybe I'll put up a pic later...
Trying to sleep earlier... not really succeeding.
And today...I was supposed to return the keys to my old apartment... and ended up returning the keys for my new apartment!! Gah Gah Gah. Well... Raghu has a key... and I can get mine soon enough....hopefully...
Awrighty....
This is Mo Solo signing off
got the software given in the related link. It's pretty nice... but crashed after I had entered in names and birthdays for around half an hour:|. GAH!! Oh well... I have to start again.....sometime later.
I have changed my facial hairstyle again. Shaved off my french beard and moustache.... leaving only a kind of goatie. It's currently thin and long... should I make it something like Aamir Khan's thingie in Dil Chahta Hain... or maybe like VJ Nikhil Chinnappa (For those who remember his look from like 4 years ago...)? Do let me know...
maybe I'll put up a pic later...
Trying to sleep earlier... not really succeeding.
And today...I was supposed to return the keys to my old apartment... and ended up returning the keys for my new apartment!! Gah Gah Gah. Well... Raghu has a key... and I can get mine soon enough....hopefully...
Awrighty....
This is Mo Solo signing off
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
lovely life
Added a few pics to the photo galleries ( My birthday pics etc )
Registered for my GRE. Taking it next thursday. soo.. the party starts now!!
sleepy despite getting a full 5 hours of sleep today morning (Compared to my typical 2.5-3 hrs)
feeling very self conscious of my new hair cut. I just realized that short hair makes me look reallly funny. Next time.. NO short hair.
NO. I am not posting a pic of my photo now.
Mohan.
Registered for my GRE. Taking it next thursday. soo.. the party starts now!!
sleepy despite getting a full 5 hours of sleep today morning (Compared to my typical 2.5-3 hrs)
feeling very self conscious of my new hair cut. I just realized that short hair makes me look reallly funny. Next time.. NO short hair.
NO. I am not posting a pic of my photo now.
Mohan.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
updates
do check out the related link.
meanwhile... bringing ppl uptodate with my life.
Today:
1) Slept in as I didnt have to go to work early. Result... slept through lunch... had an early dinner and am hungry as hell now (4:20am)
2) Had to clean our old apartment. The lady walked in yesterday morning and kinda gave us an ultimatum saying that the apartment needs to look as new as the one we moved into. So... I cleaned the bathroom (Uhmmm...it hadnt been cleaned in AGES... and ...u know... 3 guys.... 3 hairy guys.... yeah..... you dont want to know what all I cleaned up;) ) Also cleaned some greasy window meshes and mopped the entire place. Of course... roommate helped cleanup anuko... kaani still... am done now. Spent like forever cleaning that place.
3) the person I am working with replied (Jeff). Gotta meet him on Wednesday... means I need to get some stuff done ... do some research.... get some writing done.....get some sleep. He kinda understood my slacking off and was pretty supportive. Nice of him.
4) got to Matteo's blog today.... An interesting blog. It's in the drop down list to the right...
5) Finished Sam Walton's Made in America (The walmart guy). Started on Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses. Purdue has like 4 copies of this book and 3 were destroyed. I got my copy from some hidden top floor warehouse where it is stored to protect it!!
6) Started discussing road trip with Clive (everyone else dropped out... dammit!!)
----~end of updates~----
MmmmMmmm... am sooo hungry. And I just told my cousin abt the tasty chicken curry my cousin made for me:( now I am hungrier than everrr WAHHH
/me scurries off to scavenge for some food.
meanwhile... bringing ppl uptodate with my life.
Today:
1) Slept in as I didnt have to go to work early. Result... slept through lunch... had an early dinner and am hungry as hell now (4:20am)
2) Had to clean our old apartment. The lady walked in yesterday morning and kinda gave us an ultimatum saying that the apartment needs to look as new as the one we moved into. So... I cleaned the bathroom (Uhmmm...it hadnt been cleaned in AGES... and ...u know... 3 guys.... 3 hairy guys.... yeah..... you dont want to know what all I cleaned up;) ) Also cleaned some greasy window meshes and mopped the entire place. Of course... roommate helped cleanup anuko... kaani still... am done now. Spent like forever cleaning that place.
3) the person I am working with replied (Jeff). Gotta meet him on Wednesday... means I need to get some stuff done ... do some research.... get some writing done.....get some sleep. He kinda understood my slacking off and was pretty supportive. Nice of him.
4) got to Matteo's blog today.... An interesting blog. It's in the drop down list to the right...
5) Finished Sam Walton's Made in America (The walmart guy). Started on Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses. Purdue has like 4 copies of this book and 3 were destroyed. I got my copy from some hidden top floor warehouse where it is stored to protect it!!
6) Started discussing road trip with Clive (everyone else dropped out... dammit!!)
----~end of updates~----
MmmmMmmm... am sooo hungry. And I just told my cousin abt the tasty chicken curry my cousin made for me:( now I am hungrier than everrr WAHHH
/me scurries off to scavenge for some food.
Monday, July 26, 2004
JRD: The legend lives on
"'Success at any cost is like an unseasoned dish, it will not taste good,' Doongaji repeats something that Ratan says."
Referring to Ratan Tata...the current head of the Tata group of companies.
Yes.... success at any cost is like an unseasoned dish... how truly spoken. Ethics and concern for others... something which I personally feel should dictate every person's life. I have been called naive.... a kid... a loser.. for wanting to stick by my principles no matter what. But I believe.... that... in the end, I can live... and die happy... only if I follow my principles. And after all, isnt that what life is all about. Money... can make a difference...but happiness is what is the ultimate goal of life. Also, many times... money or power tends to corrupt. So, I do not want that much money or power. I do not trust my own self to be able to control myself if I had money or power.
I often wonder how that will affect the way I live life. Have to see what I have to say about this when I become older. Will I say, "In my idealistic youth...." or will I say.. "I am happy to have followed my principles no matter what"
I do not want to give up my principles for some temporary success or satisfaction... for, in the long run, I do not believe that I can be happy:)
Am I right? Or am I wrong?
Referring to Ratan Tata...the current head of the Tata group of companies.
Yes.... success at any cost is like an unseasoned dish... how truly spoken. Ethics and concern for others... something which I personally feel should dictate every person's life. I have been called naive.... a kid... a loser.. for wanting to stick by my principles no matter what. But I believe.... that... in the end, I can live... and die happy... only if I follow my principles. And after all, isnt that what life is all about. Money... can make a difference...but happiness is what is the ultimate goal of life. Also, many times... money or power tends to corrupt. So, I do not want that much money or power. I do not trust my own self to be able to control myself if I had money or power.
I often wonder how that will affect the way I live life. Have to see what I have to say about this when I become older. Will I say, "In my idealistic youth...." or will I say.. "I am happy to have followed my principles no matter what"
I do not want to give up my principles for some temporary success or satisfaction... for, in the long run, I do not believe that I can be happy:)
Am I right? Or am I wrong?
Why do I like pictures.....
A picture is worth a thousand words....
googling that gave me an interesting site.
I thought I would put in a few pictures here to illustrate my point... but I had no point to make. here are some pics anyway
~
~
googling that gave me an interesting site.
This is the original "Chinese proverb" from the streetcar advertisement.
The quotation has wrongly been translated as: A Picture Is Worth One Thousand Words.
In fact, the literal translation is: A Picture's Meaning Can Express Ten Thousand Words.
Somehow the phony Chinese proverb over the years has been given the literal meaning that a picture is equivalent to a thousand words setting up a clash between words and pictures in the minds of users of the two. With digital hegemony, visual messages have reasserted their position as an important communication medium, but at the cost of not recognizing the combination of words and pictures as vital in communication. With the correct interpretation of the proverb, words and pictures live in harmony as they are both used equally in order to understand the meaning of any work that uses them both.
I thought I would put in a few pictures here to illustrate my point... but I had no point to make. here are some pics anyway
~~
Books n Books
My link for today points to a website... which offers a wide range of e-books. If you have a PDA and like reading, this is THE place to go. Even if you dont have a PDA...just check it out. You can download the ebooks in a bunch of formats to read on almost any computer / PDA.
I have a belief about laziness and Engineers. I believe that lazy people make the best engineers. You see, the lazy ppl will try to find the shortest / simplest solution to a problem, leading to efficient products. So, I believe that my laziness is destined to make me great.
I mention this because , as usual, I have been lazy. In fact, I have been neglecting the work I was doing this summer. The guy in charge emailed me yesterday and asked me what I was doing :( . I have bunches of excuses ....but the main thing was...I was too lazy to do it. I knew I had to do it... just did not get down to it. Ever have that kind of feeling? Well.. anyway..I made up my mind to start on that tomm.
Moved into the new room finally (got back from Chicago...etc....). Kostya's staying with us for a while. The guy is a liight sleeper. And with me and Raghu typing away, he seems to be finding it hard to sleep. So... shall stop now... will be back laterzzz
I have a belief about laziness and Engineers. I believe that lazy people make the best engineers. You see, the lazy ppl will try to find the shortest / simplest solution to a problem, leading to efficient products. So, I believe that my laziness is destined to make me great.
I mention this because , as usual, I have been lazy. In fact, I have been neglecting the work I was doing this summer. The guy in charge emailed me yesterday and asked me what I was doing :( . I have bunches of excuses ....but the main thing was...I was too lazy to do it. I knew I had to do it... just did not get down to it. Ever have that kind of feeling? Well.. anyway..I made up my mind to start on that tomm.
Moved into the new room finally (got back from Chicago...etc....). Kostya's staying with us for a while. The guy is a liight sleeper. And with me and Raghu typing away, he seems to be finding it hard to sleep. So... shall stop now... will be back laterzzz
Sunday, July 25, 2004
The true nature of blogging
Today, my related link points to an excellent article. Something that my friend Aditya gave me the link to. A Blog, that has become famous on account of this particular article. A blog..that thousands of people have read. This article has been forwarded as another of those forwards.... has been featured in newspapers... and in general.. is an awesome blog.
I am jealous of this guy!!
The author of the blog in reference is a malayali guy currently studying in IIM Ahmedabad. THE killer institute in India. Where students enter as babies and emerge as fully grown men and women. The number one institute for management studies in India.
So this guy. He has a very good sense of humor. He is really talented, this Mr. Sidin. I read his blog and was pretty amazed at his vocabulary, his ways of putting things .. and his excellent thoughts. But somehow....I noted a desperation. He seemed to be blogging for his audience. An unforgiving audience, it seems, at times. Or maybe he is blogging to attract the women. Anyway.. he no longer blogs for himself. He cannot blog for himself. But instead, he strives to find time to type out something interesting. Something that will please all those people in this world looking for a few laughs. Maybe he thinks of it as a social service to the world. Or maybe...it is an ego trip.
And I wondered....is this my jealousy kicking in telling me to find fault with his blog. Or is it because... I think of myself to be one cut above everyone else....(even though, in reality, I often realize that I am only a few notches below people). I dont know the reason. Maybe I am right.. and maybe I am wrong.
I too cater to an audience. I like revealing my innermost thoughts to the world...actually...to those who I think may want to know me better.
My friends. My relatives.My parents.
Blogging gives me a sort of high. At one point of time, I thought, "what will people think? What will my parents think??". And then...I thought... I am an average person with a typical life. So, no matter what, there will be other people with similar thoughts and ideals. So, no matter what I think, people have probably already been through that phase (especially my parents... who , being my parents, are so similar to me). And if someone else has been through that phase, they would only realize that I am as human as them.
At times, I hope, that a girl will read my blog, and fall in love with me for what I am. Maybe I would find a girl friend in that way atleast. And she would be someone who would be interested in me, and not the other way around, which is always good for a guy's ego:D
Well, after all that, an update on me. I am now in Chicago, visiting my cousin. My friends will be coming down tomm to watch the Manchester United game (I gave up my ticket for a friend... ) I came down early with Borna as she was planning to drive down today all by herself, for the first time, on the highway. Didnt want her to drive down all by herself!!! (Ohhh...I am Sooo Sweeet nah... no wonder I call myself a chocolate chip cookie;) )
Well.. anyway...I am not that unselfish. I get to spend time with my cousin and neices and eat greatt food!! What more can I ask for. I'll be getting back to Purdue tomm evening. Gotta complete moving out and clean up the apartment. And gotta settle into the new one.
Yeah....lotsa work. Till next time... toodle doo
I am jealous of this guy!!
The author of the blog in reference is a malayali guy currently studying in IIM Ahmedabad. THE killer institute in India. Where students enter as babies and emerge as fully grown men and women. The number one institute for management studies in India.
So this guy. He has a very good sense of humor. He is really talented, this Mr. Sidin. I read his blog and was pretty amazed at his vocabulary, his ways of putting things .. and his excellent thoughts. But somehow....I noted a desperation. He seemed to be blogging for his audience. An unforgiving audience, it seems, at times. Or maybe he is blogging to attract the women. Anyway.. he no longer blogs for himself. He cannot blog for himself. But instead, he strives to find time to type out something interesting. Something that will please all those people in this world looking for a few laughs. Maybe he thinks of it as a social service to the world. Or maybe...it is an ego trip.
And I wondered....is this my jealousy kicking in telling me to find fault with his blog. Or is it because... I think of myself to be one cut above everyone else....(even though, in reality, I often realize that I am only a few notches below people). I dont know the reason. Maybe I am right.. and maybe I am wrong.
I too cater to an audience. I like revealing my innermost thoughts to the world...actually...to those who I think may want to know me better.
My friends. My relatives.My parents.
Blogging gives me a sort of high. At one point of time, I thought, "what will people think? What will my parents think??". And then...I thought... I am an average person with a typical life. So, no matter what, there will be other people with similar thoughts and ideals. So, no matter what I think, people have probably already been through that phase (especially my parents... who , being my parents, are so similar to me). And if someone else has been through that phase, they would only realize that I am as human as them.
At times, I hope, that a girl will read my blog, and fall in love with me for what I am. Maybe I would find a girl friend in that way atleast. And she would be someone who would be interested in me, and not the other way around, which is always good for a guy's ego:D
Well, after all that, an update on me. I am now in Chicago, visiting my cousin. My friends will be coming down tomm to watch the Manchester United game (I gave up my ticket for a friend... ) I came down early with Borna as she was planning to drive down today all by herself, for the first time, on the highway. Didnt want her to drive down all by herself!!! (Ohhh...I am Sooo Sweeet nah... no wonder I call myself a chocolate chip cookie;) )
Well.. anyway...I am not that unselfish. I get to spend time with my cousin and neices and eat greatt food!! What more can I ask for. I'll be getting back to Purdue tomm evening. Gotta complete moving out and clean up the apartment. And gotta settle into the new one.
Yeah....lotsa work. Till next time... toodle doo
Friday, July 23, 2004
what is it good for.. Absolutely nothing
I have alwayz liked the song which went as above... which I had only heard in the movie... Rush Hour. So..I looked it up... and it turns out to be an anti war song.
Kool eh:D
well... this Monday, we got a call saying we got to move into our new apartment by this coming monday so that they get plenty of time to clean up our place. So, we finally started moving. Moved a bunch of the bigger boxes.. not so important stuff. Still have to move clothes... odds and ends... computers. Kostya is moving in with us too as he had to vacate his place. Unfortunately, the lady at the office gave me the wrong keys. So, we dont have the keys to lock up the place. Result... Kostya sleeps there all alone .. tonight.
So... while looking through my papers to throw out those older than a year, I remembered an old Teaching Assistant I had..... (in ee208.... like... 1.5 years ago) yeong Chuan Lim (I dunno why but I always called him Jet Li). His was the first blog I had seen. Well, anyway...I looked up his blog and have added it to my list. An interesting guy, he is... with an interesting view towards life. Currently, he is back in Malaysia.
Onto more stuff.... we're planning to go to Chicago for the weekend. Manchester United's playin Bayan Munich(?) (yeah..it's soccer and my roomie's a biig fan). So..we going down to watch the match. So gotta move out and clean up before that :S
Today was Vamsi's Birthday. I set an alarm in my phone... but it just failed to go off loud enuff. Remembered around 40 mins past midnight and called him :D. Well...the guy's finally 21!!
Gotta catch up on reading. Been reading a bit too slowly nowadays. Hmm.
ta ta for now.. n take care!!
Kool eh:D
well... this Monday, we got a call saying we got to move into our new apartment by this coming monday so that they get plenty of time to clean up our place. So, we finally started moving. Moved a bunch of the bigger boxes.. not so important stuff. Still have to move clothes... odds and ends... computers. Kostya is moving in with us too as he had to vacate his place. Unfortunately, the lady at the office gave me the wrong keys. So, we dont have the keys to lock up the place. Result... Kostya sleeps there all alone .. tonight.
So... while looking through my papers to throw out those older than a year, I remembered an old Teaching Assistant I had..... (in ee208.... like... 1.5 years ago) yeong Chuan Lim (I dunno why but I always called him Jet Li). His was the first blog I had seen. Well, anyway...I looked up his blog and have added it to my list. An interesting guy, he is... with an interesting view towards life. Currently, he is back in Malaysia.
Onto more stuff.... we're planning to go to Chicago for the weekend. Manchester United's playin Bayan Munich(?) (yeah..it's soccer and my roomie's a biig fan). So..we going down to watch the match. So gotta move out and clean up before that :S
Today was Vamsi's Birthday. I set an alarm in my phone... but it just failed to go off loud enuff. Remembered around 40 mins past midnight and called him :D. Well...the guy's finally 21!!
Gotta catch up on reading. Been reading a bit too slowly nowadays. Hmm.
ta ta for now.. n take care!!
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Free food.. free books... fun stuff
Hmmm... Thanks a lot ppl. The wishes just poured in today... made me feel so happy. :):):)
The guys took me out to Khana Khazana, the Indian restaurant and the food was pretty good too. On top of that, Raghu picked up the tab for me!! I mean... after the cake and all...I was like.. yeah.. this is just formality sake. AND they even got me 2 books!! Thanks guys!!
It was pretty hot and humid all day. And Kostya came down to pick us up to go to KK even though we had not actually invited him;) THAT was lucky. halfway there... it started raining..... and raining HEAVILY. so heavily that we could barely see the road. Well... yeah. Tropical thunderstorm. Some places lost power too!!
Feels good to be a senior. Met up with Matteo today at the union. Saw him walk by and made him sit down and talk.... and realized I knew NOTHING abt physics... the subject I LOVE!! Wahhhhh.
Also felt old..... Chatted with Tarun... who came in only a year after me. Or is it 2? Anywayz... the guy...is turning 19!!! This coming weekend!!!!!!!!! WAHHHH :'(
I feel an anime attraction coming over me. So yeah... will party onnn...
cya pplz:D
The guys took me out to Khana Khazana, the Indian restaurant and the food was pretty good too. On top of that, Raghu picked up the tab for me!! I mean... after the cake and all...I was like.. yeah.. this is just formality sake. AND they even got me 2 books!! Thanks guys!!
It was pretty hot and humid all day. And Kostya came down to pick us up to go to KK even though we had not actually invited him;) THAT was lucky. halfway there... it started raining..... and raining HEAVILY. so heavily that we could barely see the road. Well... yeah. Tropical thunderstorm. Some places lost power too!!
Feels good to be a senior. Met up with Matteo today at the union. Saw him walk by and made him sit down and talk.... and realized I knew NOTHING abt physics... the subject I LOVE!! Wahhhhh.
Also felt old..... Chatted with Tarun... who came in only a year after me. Or is it 2? Anywayz... the guy...is turning 19!!! This coming weekend!!!!!!!!! WAHHHH :'(
I feel an anime attraction coming over me. So yeah... will party onnn...
cya pplz:D
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Live n Love
I dont know why.... but I tend to talk a lot about love.
Today, I was reading about Amma, Mata Amritanandmayi devi, also known as the hugging saint. She was visiting New York. Check the Related Link for more info. She has been known to hug everyone who approaches her, speaking words of comfort in their ears... She is said to ooze love for humanity. That...is what I want to have... that...is my goal. Maybe...someday...I will be able to.
Today...is my birthday. I turned 22 with a small party given by Manasi, Borna, Raghu, Jason, Vikesh and Konstantin. Thanks guys!! I also got cards and wishes from a bunch of ppl...some of whom I never expected to hear from!! Ppl like Vikram, Trushal and Niyati. Made me so embarrased as I could never remember dates:(. So, I decided to enter as many birthdays as I could remember into birthdayalarm.com. Spent a while updating that... and yet...it remains relatively empty.
Jason, Raghu, Kostya, Borna, Manasi and Vikesh....in front of the apartment.
I have added Aditya Abburi's blog in my list of blogs. I convinced him that he needs to use his creative juices constructively. The guy has written short stories... and I feel that he has an innate talent for music and poetry. :). And yeah.. his bro looks exactly like Madhavan, the South Indian actor from Bombay.
I spent a while talking with Numphol yesterday for lunch. The guy...to me... is a mystery. He was the first guy I set out to make friends with at Purdue. I trust my instincts when it comes to choosing friends ...u see. And I think I scared him by calling him every day, wanting to hang out.. etc. Well, anywayz, I did see him from time to time, he was in a few of my classes. Sophomore year, EE270, he was my lab partner and I think we got to know each other better then. Anywayz... only in the last few months have I spent a bit longer talking with him... and yeah...he's a cool dude. But his blog... ahh..his blog. Now.. thats what keeps me guessing. I see things in there... which I wouldnt have ever expected of him. Interesting how one thinks they know someone...till they realize.. they hardly know him/her.
(Oyy Numphol.. sorry lah. Dont mind me writing abt ya:p )
Saw a movie called Ichi The Killer today. Been seeing it for 2 days now (needed to take breaks in between:S). I officially classify it as the goriest movie I have seen. it's got some really sick freaks in it. Not for the squeamish.
I also got a hair cut. And trimmed my beard using a brand new trimmer I got. I somehow got bored.. and hot.. and so my hair is now shorter than it ever was. Back to my good ol style. As one person described it so well, it looks like someone took a round bowl shaped mesh, put it around my head, and cut around it. Yeah...next time...I'm not gonna ask them to make my top short!!
well.. I better get sleeping now. Take care all :)
Today, I was reading about Amma, Mata Amritanandmayi devi, also known as the hugging saint. She was visiting New York. Check the Related Link for more info. She has been known to hug everyone who approaches her, speaking words of comfort in their ears... She is said to ooze love for humanity. That...is what I want to have... that...is my goal. Maybe...someday...I will be able to.
Today...is my birthday. I turned 22 with a small party given by Manasi, Borna, Raghu, Jason, Vikesh and Konstantin. Thanks guys!! I also got cards and wishes from a bunch of ppl...some of whom I never expected to hear from!! Ppl like Vikram, Trushal and Niyati. Made me so embarrased as I could never remember dates:(. So, I decided to enter as many birthdays as I could remember into birthdayalarm.com. Spent a while updating that... and yet...it remains relatively empty.
Jason, Raghu, Kostya, Borna, Manasi and Vikesh....in front of the apartment.
I have added Aditya Abburi's blog in my list of blogs. I convinced him that he needs to use his creative juices constructively. The guy has written short stories... and I feel that he has an innate talent for music and poetry. :). And yeah.. his bro looks exactly like Madhavan, the South Indian actor from Bombay.
I spent a while talking with Numphol yesterday for lunch. The guy...to me... is a mystery. He was the first guy I set out to make friends with at Purdue. I trust my instincts when it comes to choosing friends ...u see. And I think I scared him by calling him every day, wanting to hang out.. etc. Well, anywayz, I did see him from time to time, he was in a few of my classes. Sophomore year, EE270, he was my lab partner and I think we got to know each other better then. Anywayz... only in the last few months have I spent a bit longer talking with him... and yeah...he's a cool dude. But his blog... ahh..his blog. Now.. thats what keeps me guessing. I see things in there... which I wouldnt have ever expected of him. Interesting how one thinks they know someone...till they realize.. they hardly know him/her.
(Oyy Numphol.. sorry lah. Dont mind me writing abt ya:p )
Saw a movie called Ichi The Killer today. Been seeing it for 2 days now (needed to take breaks in between:S). I officially classify it as the goriest movie I have seen. it's got some really sick freaks in it. Not for the squeamish.
I also got a hair cut. And trimmed my beard using a brand new trimmer I got. I somehow got bored.. and hot.. and so my hair is now shorter than it ever was. Back to my good ol style. As one person described it so well, it looks like someone took a round bowl shaped mesh, put it around my head, and cut around it. Yeah...next time...I'm not gonna ask them to make my top short!!
well.. I better get sleeping now. Take care all :)
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Power of a Woman
I was chatting with my friend today... just generally...Here is a part of our convo (edited of course to protect the identity of the poor fella)
Hmm.. So.. thats the hold that women have over men. Just the thought of being able to look on at that object of beauty... can motivate a guy like K to go to class 90% of the time!!
Interesting to note the kinds of motivations one has to go to class. Thats why I say... put in more girls in my EE classes;) I will attend them much more diligently;)
"A thing of beauty is a joy forever"
K says: yeah, but remember the girl i had a 'crush ' on?? she was chinese...indonesian chinese actually...
- (^o^) sloth - says: who that be??
K says: some gal in my ma261 class
- (^o^) sloth - says: ahh!!!!!
K says: i only went to class to feast my eyes on her
- (^o^) sloth - says: hehe
- (^o^) sloth - says: Ohh yes u told us
K says: attendance was 90%
- (^o^) sloth - says: what was her name?
K says: lol
K says: how the hell do i know?
- (^o^) sloth - says: haha
- (^o^) sloth - says: u gotta find out such things first
K says: lol
K says: i'm just happy looking at them...
K says: no more ambitions!!
Hmm.. So.. thats the hold that women have over men. Just the thought of being able to look on at that object of beauty... can motivate a guy like K to go to class 90% of the time!!
Interesting to note the kinds of motivations one has to go to class. Thats why I say... put in more girls in my EE classes;) I will attend them much more diligently;)
"A thing of beauty is a joy forever"
Monday, July 19, 2004
I, (Reading) Robot
My first recollection of reading.... was of these tiny books on dragons. This was when I was in 1st or 2nd grade. Our library teacher required us to read a book, tell her the story and then get another book. I always prided myself on being able to read more books than most people!! For a geek like me... this was my area of excellence.
I have come a long way since then... and yet.. I dont think I have read as much as I could or should have. Throughout my childhood, my parents encouraged us to read. More of books than comics. So...I read. My school had a HUGE collection of books by Enid Blyton and I believe I read over half of them. My library teachers knew me pretty well as I would often go in between classes to check out a new book (We were allowed only one book at a time). After Enid Blytons, came a period of Hardy Boys.... and then...I got hooked to Asimov. Asimov has been my favourite science fiction author. So, now that the movie 'I, Robot', has been released here in the US, I remembered his book on which the movie has been based. I believe the story has been changed quite a bit... but then... thats what hollywood does, isn't it?? And then... I thought I should blog on my reading habits.
My sister also loved books... and has always been better read than me. She was the one who introduced me to a lot of the classics. We would go to every book exhibition we came across.. and in general.. buy a lot of books. At that time, I read a lot of classics... Robin Hoods.. and Treasure Islands... P.G. Wodehouses and all about Jeeves. One of my favourite books was Swiss Family Robinson. I always enjoyed the idea of living far away from society... making things by yourself. However, I tend to be too lazy to do anything by myself.
Later .. she diverged towards the more romantic kind of books.. which were not exactly my cup of tea (Milk?? Hmm... I dont drink tea). Well, anyway, I started reading more of science fiction. A few thrillers here and there... some more science fiction.Micheal Crichton... Robin Cook.. Robert Ludlum.. Jeffrey Archer.. John Le Carre.. Sidney Sheldon.. Mario Puzo.. and some others have been my mainstay here over the past few years.
I have also loved autobiographies. Havent read many... but prominent ones I liked include Lee Iacocca's, Mahatma gandhi's, Akio Morita's (The co-founder of Sony)...The story of Hilton...
However...I never thought I could read philosophy. Herman Hesse. The man changed my life. And so did the person who introduced me to him. You see, I have always felt that I was different from my friends. Somehow...I thought differently... had different views.. and different ways of approaching things. Both of the above showed me I was not alone in this world. There were others in this world.. who had similar ways of thinking.
Books.... ahh...Wonder if I'll ever get tired of them...
I have come a long way since then... and yet.. I dont think I have read as much as I could or should have. Throughout my childhood, my parents encouraged us to read. More of books than comics. So...I read. My school had a HUGE collection of books by Enid Blyton and I believe I read over half of them. My library teachers knew me pretty well as I would often go in between classes to check out a new book (We were allowed only one book at a time). After Enid Blytons, came a period of Hardy Boys.... and then...I got hooked to Asimov. Asimov has been my favourite science fiction author. So, now that the movie 'I, Robot', has been released here in the US, I remembered his book on which the movie has been based. I believe the story has been changed quite a bit... but then... thats what hollywood does, isn't it?? And then... I thought I should blog on my reading habits.
My sister also loved books... and has always been better read than me. She was the one who introduced me to a lot of the classics. We would go to every book exhibition we came across.. and in general.. buy a lot of books. At that time, I read a lot of classics... Robin Hoods.. and Treasure Islands... P.G. Wodehouses and all about Jeeves. One of my favourite books was Swiss Family Robinson. I always enjoyed the idea of living far away from society... making things by yourself. However, I tend to be too lazy to do anything by myself.
Later .. she diverged towards the more romantic kind of books.. which were not exactly my cup of tea (Milk?? Hmm... I dont drink tea). Well, anyway, I started reading more of science fiction. A few thrillers here and there... some more science fiction.Micheal Crichton... Robin Cook.. Robert Ludlum.. Jeffrey Archer.. John Le Carre.. Sidney Sheldon.. Mario Puzo.. and some others have been my mainstay here over the past few years.
I have also loved autobiographies. Havent read many... but prominent ones I liked include Lee Iacocca's, Mahatma gandhi's, Akio Morita's (The co-founder of Sony)...The story of Hilton...
However...I never thought I could read philosophy. Herman Hesse. The man changed my life. And so did the person who introduced me to him. You see, I have always felt that I was different from my friends. Somehow...I thought differently... had different views.. and different ways of approaching things. Both of the above showed me I was not alone in this world. There were others in this world.. who had similar ways of thinking.
Books.... ahh...Wonder if I'll ever get tired of them...
Saturday, July 17, 2004
Christian, Buddhist or Hindu
Some sayings which I thought... reveal my heart....
which only goes on to tell me that I am not alone in this world in what I think...
"I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart."
-- Anne Frank
"When strangers start acting like neighbors...communities are reinvigorated."
-- Ralph Nader
"We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects."
-- Herman Melville
"All people are a single nation."
-- The Holy Koran
I still remember a conversation some friends had. We were at lunch, eating in the dorms. This guy N, was being the kind of guy he typically was, not swearing, saying thank you, you are welcome.. etc. So, A friend asks him, "hey N, You are a Christian right?"
And he replied... "No No, I am a buddhist. Whatever gave you that idea?"
Friend 1 replied "Well, you seem to behave in accorcance with the true Christian principles"
N replied, "Well, this other friend here is neither Christian nor buddhist and he is the same too"
This other friend was Hindu.
Now... this above conversation just proved to me how religions can be misleading regarding other religions. If we were to only be open minded... we can see that all religions ultimately promote the same kind of behaviour. It is only those who do not follow the advice who give the wrong impressions of a religion. Ultimately, I believe, all religions have a few common principles. It is only the human interpreters who have sometimes... meddled up things or interpreted things in a way that can cause trouble.
Hmm... just some more thoughts on religion....somewhat repetitive... yet with a slightly different reasoning.
which only goes on to tell me that I am not alone in this world in what I think...
"I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart."
-- Anne Frank
"When strangers start acting like neighbors...communities are reinvigorated."
-- Ralph Nader
"We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects."
-- Herman Melville
"All people are a single nation."
-- The Holy Koran
I still remember a conversation some friends had. We were at lunch, eating in the dorms. This guy N, was being the kind of guy he typically was, not swearing, saying thank you, you are welcome.. etc. So, A friend asks him, "hey N, You are a Christian right?"
And he replied... "No No, I am a buddhist. Whatever gave you that idea?"
Friend 1 replied "Well, you seem to behave in accorcance with the true Christian principles"
N replied, "Well, this other friend here is neither Christian nor buddhist and he is the same too"
This other friend was Hindu.
Now... this above conversation just proved to me how religions can be misleading regarding other religions. If we were to only be open minded... we can see that all religions ultimately promote the same kind of behaviour. It is only those who do not follow the advice who give the wrong impressions of a religion. Ultimately, I believe, all religions have a few common principles. It is only the human interpreters who have sometimes... meddled up things or interpreted things in a way that can cause trouble.
Hmm... just some more thoughts on religion....somewhat repetitive... yet with a slightly different reasoning.
Motherly love
Today... my mom sent me this mail..... and it reminded me of the song which is linked to in the "Related Link" above .^.
Thanks ma....for being there for me!!
Dear Mo,
All the best,
love,mum.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Blessed is the person who makes truth his ideal,
Beauty his aim, Wisdom his purpose, Service his
religion and Love his fulfilment.
Thanks ma....for being there for me!!
Friday, July 16, 2004
Thoughts for the day
Yeah...I put together a sentence that really got to me as I was reading slashdot.
"My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in." - Weird Al
Hmmm......
and in this time of liesure.....(my wonderful summer)...I'll tell ya why I am being so lazy and doing so li'l work...
A poor life this..... if full of care... we have not time to stand and stare. Thats why I am taking time to stand and stare.... not just at mother earth... but at all the beauty in my life. To reflect upon those who have made a difference in my life.. and those who will...if I only give them a chance. So... thats what this summer is all about. Spending time to realize who I am and what I care for.
"My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in." - Weird Al
Hmmm......
and in this time of liesure.....(my wonderful summer)...I'll tell ya why I am being so lazy and doing so li'l work...
Leisure
WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—
No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
- W H Davies
A poor life this..... if full of care... we have not time to stand and stare. Thats why I am taking time to stand and stare.... not just at mother earth... but at all the beauty in my life. To reflect upon those who have made a difference in my life.. and those who will...if I only give them a chance. So... thats what this summer is all about. Spending time to realize who I am and what I care for.
Love thy neighbours
Sometimes... it surprises me.... as to how many people I can love at the same time. So many people... each of them unique and special in their...oh so special way!!! Is this actually love? I believe it is... because... if it werent love... I would'nt be able to describe it the way I can. This feeling of joy whenever any of the people are around me or with me... or are even chatting with me online. Their very presence brightens up my day. It is these very people who keep me online... day after day... in the addicted hope that they will come online to spend a few minutes chatting with me before they get going. It is these very people who dont know that I would be willing to do anything for them, with a smile on my face, if they ever asked. This is love... at its innocent best. Unrequited... undesiring and undemanding. Just ... brimming over...to make me happy.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Thanks!!
Today, my roommate and good friend Raghu... gave me my share of the spoils. 550$. I had already spent 130$ on my hard disk. And a few days ago... Vamsi... had told me abt Cry. So, today, I went to their website and donated some money. Felt good. After all... India will always benefit from educated people:).
Am happy:)
Am happy:)
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Oh God, Wherefore art Thou
Oh God!! Jeez!! Jesus H Christ.. Siva Sivaaa!!.... aiyyo rama!! various inferences to god that people make all the time... especially when something goes wrong ..or when something happens that we dont like happening. Well... now ... the time has come for me to give a discourse on god!!
God...
I have always had a pleasant relationship with god. My parents... grandparents.. have always been pretty religious. My dad was a firm believer in Shirdi Sai Baba and would listen to his Bhajans whenever he was home. That was my first exposure to music.. and till this day... those tunes stick in my head. But more than him... I remember my grandmothers.... Both of them would go for their bath... go and pluck flowers in a little tray.. and then go do puja. It was very interesting. Especially as a young kid... seeing ur grandmothers follow a tradition. I would sometimes help them pluck the flowers..especially if there were some in corners they could not reach...
To me, god never had any particular name. I was poor in telugu ... and in Hindi...so I always prayed in English. I wondered whether Hindu gods would be able to understand me... and so, I would always refer to all of them as God. I believe that my education in a Christian missionary school had something to do with my religious views. As I have said in my previous blog... I held my teachers in very high esteem. And when these teachers and principles told us a parable every day... and spoke about Jesus... it never occurred to me that he would be a different kind of God compared to Hindu gods. And I did not want to offend any god by referring to one by name instead of another. So... in one word...I encompassed them all.. all the 3 crore (30 million) (mukkoti in telugu) Hindu gods... Jesus... Allah...everyone.
We had to say the lords prayer every day in school. The Christian lord's prayer. And before that... our principle would pray for all of us while we stood with bowed heads and folded arms. But to me... this wasnt a real prayer. It was something we did by rote... Often .. my mind would wander during the prayer... and I would think... shouldnt I be praying now!!
And then... all those festivals... where we listened to stories of various gods. Those were fun!! Especially as the language used was arcane and I barely understood what was being said.
I began praying in earnest once classes and exams started taking their toll. I would pray to god and ask him to make sure I would do well in my exam... and to wake me up in time!! I always felt that praying to god and reminding him to wake me up was totally responsible for me getting up in time. I still do that!! Later...I remember someone told me that when we pray... we should first praise God.. then we should Thank him... and then... we should ask him. Since then... I have had a standard prayer I recite... I ask Him / Her to help my friends, relatives (I take quite a few names... and try to visualize their faces when I state the names) and the universe as such. Then I thank him. Somehow... I feel as if I speak with a friend. I dont expect miracles... because I know that in the end...only good happens.
One day.. I sat down and thought... why do people believe in God. And the answer I reasoned.. was very simple. People needed something to believe in.. something to have in common with people of their neighbouring villages...towns....kingdoms. And ... what better thing to do than have a supernatural leader who is always right?? So... I believe.. God was created by man to explain that which he did not understand... and at the same time..... create a universal leader who would bring people together and tell them what to do and how to go about in life. And then it struck me... all religions seem to have the same underlying core value: Help yourself... and then help everyone else in this world. Voila!! The ten commandments... the Bhagvad gita... the Koran.. all seemed to point to this simple statement. Of course.. they made it much more complicated and gave a whole bunch of other guidelines... but I didnt care for those. Those were superficial... and very often... interpretations by some human to suit his or her own condition. Why would I need to follow someone else's interpretation when I knew the core value??
No...I have not read the bhagvad Gita... no..I have not read the koran... and no I have not read the bible. However...I have read parts of them... read stories which mention them... and spoken with devout Christians, Muslims and Hindus... all of who seem to have the same underlying belief.
So...I guess... my religion is Humanity!!
If you ask me what my religion is...I will still call myself a Hindu. Because...I appreciate the values of Hinduism. That religion is a private thing. That you follow your beliefs as you wish... and noone can say you are wrong. Noone can preach to me and tell me what to do if I dont want them to. Noone can scare me and tell me that God would leave me if I behaved in some way rather than another. I believe... Hinduism is not a religion of fear but a religion of love. I believe that Hinduism evolved by merging all the local gods of kingdoms.. when one took over another... or one prince married a princess from another. It was convenient to say that all the gods were the same and equally powerful. This would make so much social sense. So... basically...I would not be wrong in saying that Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed and all the other religious leaders... were all a part of Hinduism. I see Hinduism as a way of life... not as a religion per se.
I do not think of myself as perfect. I have my doubts very often. I have been hard pressed for answers at times... when it came to religious debates. And many times... people fail to see my point of view. They stick to some idea and refuse to let go of it.... and I probably do the same too. However...I sincerely believe that by sticking to my path of Being good to myself and then being good to everyone else... will keep me happy.
Maybe....it will be something which will help you too!!
God...
I have always had a pleasant relationship with god. My parents... grandparents.. have always been pretty religious. My dad was a firm believer in Shirdi Sai Baba and would listen to his Bhajans whenever he was home. That was my first exposure to music.. and till this day... those tunes stick in my head. But more than him... I remember my grandmothers.... Both of them would go for their bath... go and pluck flowers in a little tray.. and then go do puja. It was very interesting. Especially as a young kid... seeing ur grandmothers follow a tradition. I would sometimes help them pluck the flowers..especially if there were some in corners they could not reach...
To me, god never had any particular name. I was poor in telugu ... and in Hindi...so I always prayed in English. I wondered whether Hindu gods would be able to understand me... and so, I would always refer to all of them as God. I believe that my education in a Christian missionary school had something to do with my religious views. As I have said in my previous blog... I held my teachers in very high esteem. And when these teachers and principles told us a parable every day... and spoke about Jesus... it never occurred to me that he would be a different kind of God compared to Hindu gods. And I did not want to offend any god by referring to one by name instead of another. So... in one word...I encompassed them all.. all the 3 crore (30 million) (mukkoti in telugu) Hindu gods... Jesus... Allah...everyone.
We had to say the lords prayer every day in school. The Christian lord's prayer. And before that... our principle would pray for all of us while we stood with bowed heads and folded arms. But to me... this wasnt a real prayer. It was something we did by rote... Often .. my mind would wander during the prayer... and I would think... shouldnt I be praying now!!
And then... all those festivals... where we listened to stories of various gods. Those were fun!! Especially as the language used was arcane and I barely understood what was being said.
I began praying in earnest once classes and exams started taking their toll. I would pray to god and ask him to make sure I would do well in my exam... and to wake me up in time!! I always felt that praying to god and reminding him to wake me up was totally responsible for me getting up in time. I still do that!! Later...I remember someone told me that when we pray... we should first praise God.. then we should Thank him... and then... we should ask him. Since then... I have had a standard prayer I recite... I ask Him / Her to help my friends, relatives (I take quite a few names... and try to visualize their faces when I state the names) and the universe as such. Then I thank him. Somehow... I feel as if I speak with a friend. I dont expect miracles... because I know that in the end...only good happens.
One day.. I sat down and thought... why do people believe in God. And the answer I reasoned.. was very simple. People needed something to believe in.. something to have in common with people of their neighbouring villages...towns....kingdoms. And ... what better thing to do than have a supernatural leader who is always right?? So... I believe.. God was created by man to explain that which he did not understand... and at the same time..... create a universal leader who would bring people together and tell them what to do and how to go about in life. And then it struck me... all religions seem to have the same underlying core value: Help yourself... and then help everyone else in this world. Voila!! The ten commandments... the Bhagvad gita... the Koran.. all seemed to point to this simple statement. Of course.. they made it much more complicated and gave a whole bunch of other guidelines... but I didnt care for those. Those were superficial... and very often... interpretations by some human to suit his or her own condition. Why would I need to follow someone else's interpretation when I knew the core value??
No...I have not read the bhagvad Gita... no..I have not read the koran... and no I have not read the bible. However...I have read parts of them... read stories which mention them... and spoken with devout Christians, Muslims and Hindus... all of who seem to have the same underlying belief.
So...I guess... my religion is Humanity!!
If you ask me what my religion is...I will still call myself a Hindu. Because...I appreciate the values of Hinduism. That religion is a private thing. That you follow your beliefs as you wish... and noone can say you are wrong. Noone can preach to me and tell me what to do if I dont want them to. Noone can scare me and tell me that God would leave me if I behaved in some way rather than another. I believe... Hinduism is not a religion of fear but a religion of love. I believe that Hinduism evolved by merging all the local gods of kingdoms.. when one took over another... or one prince married a princess from another. It was convenient to say that all the gods were the same and equally powerful. This would make so much social sense. So... basically...I would not be wrong in saying that Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed and all the other religious leaders... were all a part of Hinduism. I see Hinduism as a way of life... not as a religion per se.
I do not think of myself as perfect. I have my doubts very often. I have been hard pressed for answers at times... when it came to religious debates. And many times... people fail to see my point of view. They stick to some idea and refuse to let go of it.... and I probably do the same too. However...I sincerely believe that by sticking to my path of Being good to myself and then being good to everyone else... will keep me happy.
Maybe....it will be something which will help you too!!
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Me Myself and I
Hmm
I wonder why I always talk about myself. My roommate saw me take my photo today and said... " Dude... you ARE a vain guy... u narcissist." He may have said it jokingly... but somehow..I have always known that I was like that. Especially in recent times. I guess I was never one to take good care of how I looked. If u see pics of me till around last year...I was as unkempt as could be. Nowadays...I seem to be taking a bit more interest in how I look. So... naturally...I have had a bit more of an interest in taking pics of myself to put up online. Especially.. when there are ppl who see it and compliment me;););)
Well..today...I was thinking... while taking my shower of course ( The bathroom somehow always inspires me)... what made me ... what I am.......
Some points came to me then...others as I was writing this....
I can still remember the day my mom caught me stealing.I was in 1st grade. Well..it wasnt exactly stealing...I just picked up a few marbles that looked good...from a cousins collection... and walked out!! And this was the day after I had picked up a pencil I had found on the classroom floor and put it in my bag. I was becoming a thief!! But my mom cut that short. My typically nice.... friendly mom... suddenly got angrier than I had ever seen her and beat me up. Never has she beaten me like that since then. That.... I think... made me decide not to ever do anything my parents wouldnt approve of.
My first experience copying was for an exam in 3rd standard. I didnt know a 'fill in the blank' answer. So I stood up, looked into the paper of the person sitting in front of me.. and sat down. I think the answer was 'cauliflower' or something... Anywayz...I got that wrong!! And after that....I didnt really think of copying.
I still remember... that till around 4th grade (or standard)...I was verry naughty. I think back... and feel... a little push.. and I would have been among the group of people my mom always warned me about. My company at that time .. consisted of ppl... who later... went on to become ppl like that. And I dont know what made me change.... was it my parents... my grandparents.... self preservational instincts? I dont know.
However... from 4th grade onwards....I went to the other extreme. I think I became stuck-up... Naive...Nerd...I was the perfectly obedient student. Believed in all the rules. Even till today... I treat all my teachers on the level of goddesses (I didnt have any male teachers in school). Especially all my teachers till around 9th grade. After that... the sheen started fading away (I believe due to the influence of some of my rowdier friends). Even today, if I were to see any of my school teacher, I would treat them as I did when I was in class. I would be very deferential. I believe that this was the time that a majority of my principles ... were formed. All those do's and don'ts of life.
Then came the crazy classes. 10th, 11th and 12th. I raced through them at breakneck speed.... hardly stopping to notice anything... and I believe that this period formed the basis for my "Bindaas" ( Take it easy??) way of life. Especially the ending... when I realized that all my hard work didnt really pay off in the way I expected it. Now...I dont regret anything anymore.... coz I like to think I take life as it comes... and believe that whatever happens... happens for my good. I learn something from it.. and move on.
Then....I came to Purdue. Ahh... Naive me!! I discovered women.....(yeah...I have always been a late bloomer).... I discovered psychology... and I discovered myself.
Wonder where life will take me ...
I wonder why I always talk about myself. My roommate saw me take my photo today and said... " Dude... you ARE a vain guy... u narcissist." He may have said it jokingly... but somehow..I have always known that I was like that. Especially in recent times. I guess I was never one to take good care of how I looked. If u see pics of me till around last year...I was as unkempt as could be. Nowadays...I seem to be taking a bit more interest in how I look. So... naturally...I have had a bit more of an interest in taking pics of myself to put up online. Especially.. when there are ppl who see it and compliment me;););)
Well..today...I was thinking... while taking my shower of course ( The bathroom somehow always inspires me)... what made me ... what I am.......
Some points came to me then...others as I was writing this....
I can still remember the day my mom caught me stealing.I was in 1st grade. Well..it wasnt exactly stealing...I just picked up a few marbles that looked good...from a cousins collection... and walked out!! And this was the day after I had picked up a pencil I had found on the classroom floor and put it in my bag. I was becoming a thief!! But my mom cut that short. My typically nice.... friendly mom... suddenly got angrier than I had ever seen her and beat me up. Never has she beaten me like that since then. That.... I think... made me decide not to ever do anything my parents wouldnt approve of.
My first experience copying was for an exam in 3rd standard. I didnt know a 'fill in the blank' answer. So I stood up, looked into the paper of the person sitting in front of me.. and sat down. I think the answer was 'cauliflower' or something... Anywayz...I got that wrong!! And after that....I didnt really think of copying.
I still remember... that till around 4th grade (or standard)...I was verry naughty. I think back... and feel... a little push.. and I would have been among the group of people my mom always warned me about. My company at that time .. consisted of ppl... who later... went on to become ppl like that. And I dont know what made me change.... was it my parents... my grandparents.... self preservational instincts? I dont know.
However... from 4th grade onwards....I went to the other extreme. I think I became stuck-up... Naive...Nerd...I was the perfectly obedient student. Believed in all the rules. Even till today... I treat all my teachers on the level of goddesses (I didnt have any male teachers in school). Especially all my teachers till around 9th grade. After that... the sheen started fading away (I believe due to the influence of some of my rowdier friends). Even today, if I were to see any of my school teacher, I would treat them as I did when I was in class. I would be very deferential. I believe that this was the time that a majority of my principles ... were formed. All those do's and don'ts of life.
Then came the crazy classes. 10th, 11th and 12th. I raced through them at breakneck speed.... hardly stopping to notice anything... and I believe that this period formed the basis for my "Bindaas" ( Take it easy??) way of life. Especially the ending... when I realized that all my hard work didnt really pay off in the way I expected it. Now...I dont regret anything anymore.... coz I like to think I take life as it comes... and believe that whatever happens... happens for my good. I learn something from it.. and move on.
Then....I came to Purdue. Ahh... Naive me!! I discovered women.....(yeah...I have always been a late bloomer).... I discovered psychology... and I discovered myself.
Wonder where life will take me ...
Monday, July 12, 2004
Knock Knock Knocking on heaven's door
Just thought of this song.Dont know how... dont know why. I just like this one line eh. Raghu's effect on me. Else I dont listen to no such music. I just put music in the background and its always on randomize.. as I never want to know what songs I am listening to.
Bought a 250 gig Hard disk today. for 130$. Hmm... hope this will guilt me into not impulse spending 500 dollars on a Shuttle XPC ..
or a canon S50 ~>
or an AMD athlon 64 chip and motherboard ~>
or a handheld PC with GPS like a Dell X30 ~>
or an apple ipod~>
Yeah.....through a funky twist of fate involving somebody messing up at Dell, and ending with my roommate getting a 3000$ system from dell for much lesser and his selling it off and sharing the profits with me.. I ended up with 500$. And I dont want to spend it. But I have spent the last 24 hrs researching all of the above products.
*sigh*
Feeling crappy about myself. I need to actually go do some work. Work should do me some good.
I should not be this lazy.
*sigh*
Bought a 250 gig Hard disk today. for 130$. Hmm... hope this will guilt me into not impulse spending 500 dollars on a Shuttle XPC ..
or a canon S50 ~>
or an AMD athlon 64 chip and motherboard ~>
or a handheld PC with GPS like a Dell X30 ~>
or an apple ipod~>
Yeah.....through a funky twist of fate involving somebody messing up at Dell, and ending with my roommate getting a 3000$ system from dell for much lesser and his selling it off and sharing the profits with me.. I ended up with 500$. And I dont want to spend it. But I have spent the last 24 hrs researching all of the above products.
*sigh*
Feeling crappy about myself. I need to actually go do some work. Work should do me some good.
I should not be this lazy.
*sigh*
Sunday, July 11, 2004
facial hair
I have received all sorts of advice regarding my facial hair now... from goatie... to moustache... to no facial hair at all.. And each person has a different view. So... in view of the fact that no two people seem to be agreeing wholeheartedly...I shall try out something new. Currently onto a french beard.... but dont think I'll keep it. Too much work ehh;). Lets see.... something interesting maybe. Summer's the time to experiment. I dont want my profs to stop recognizin me during a normal sem;)'
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Death and its profound impact on love
I cannot find any link to describe my feelings..... I was reading this story...on a kid (St Francis of Assisi) and his thoughts as he is entering his teens... He wants to be a hero.. not be silly... and at the same time... he goes ahead and joins some little kids in their games and has a gala time... which he regrets later... thinking that real hero does not do such frivolous things and he almost cries. And then... I just started thinking of my childhood... and somehow... this one day stuck out.
I must have been around 9 or 10 (maybe younger)... and somehow.... it suddenly struck me that nothing is permanent. I got this vague fear... that everyone has to die.. and following natural law... my parents will have to die before me.... and I would have to say goodbye some day. This was so painful for me that I still remember crying all day. I just went to my mom, who was cooking, and held her tight. Initially.. she didnt know why I was crying... but when, I bawled out the reason, She just hugged me and held me tight. Maybe that was the day I realized how much my parents actually meant to me. Not that I did not trouble them after that. I was a very naughty kid... but still...
The next time I cried so uncontrollably (just because of thinking) was sometime last year. I was all alone in my room.. watching this movie "seetaramaiah gari manavaraalu" (SeetaRamaiah's granddaughter). In the movie, a rich village landlord's son opposes his dad and marries the girl he loves and leaves for the states. The father cuts off all ties. Many years down the line... for a relatives wedding... on being pressurised.. he sends his son an invite to the wedding. But his granddaughter arrives instead and wins everyone's heart. But the landlord is still unhappy as his son does not arrive. Only at the end of the movie..are we told... that his son had died in a car accident... as he was getting ready to come to India. I guess I remembered my grandfather who had passed away a few months after I came here... and I just cried my heart out... remembering all the time I spent with him and all the times I teased him and played with him. All the time I was staying with him, I never realized the extreme impact he had on my life. Only after his death did I realize that he had always been my hero.
I guess the reason I said this was because I just wanted to write it out. Somehow... putting it in words makes me understand myself better. And...I was thinking how death is the one thing which still makes me cringe. I think I can handle anything that life can throw at me... and then... things like this make me realize how utterly powerless I am.
I must have been around 9 or 10 (maybe younger)... and somehow.... it suddenly struck me that nothing is permanent. I got this vague fear... that everyone has to die.. and following natural law... my parents will have to die before me.... and I would have to say goodbye some day. This was so painful for me that I still remember crying all day. I just went to my mom, who was cooking, and held her tight. Initially.. she didnt know why I was crying... but when, I bawled out the reason, She just hugged me and held me tight. Maybe that was the day I realized how much my parents actually meant to me. Not that I did not trouble them after that. I was a very naughty kid... but still...
The next time I cried so uncontrollably (just because of thinking) was sometime last year. I was all alone in my room.. watching this movie "seetaramaiah gari manavaraalu" (SeetaRamaiah's granddaughter). In the movie, a rich village landlord's son opposes his dad and marries the girl he loves and leaves for the states. The father cuts off all ties. Many years down the line... for a relatives wedding... on being pressurised.. he sends his son an invite to the wedding. But his granddaughter arrives instead and wins everyone's heart. But the landlord is still unhappy as his son does not arrive. Only at the end of the movie..are we told... that his son had died in a car accident... as he was getting ready to come to India. I guess I remembered my grandfather who had passed away a few months after I came here... and I just cried my heart out... remembering all the time I spent with him and all the times I teased him and played with him. All the time I was staying with him, I never realized the extreme impact he had on my life. Only after his death did I realize that he had always been my hero.
I guess the reason I said this was because I just wanted to write it out. Somehow... putting it in words makes me understand myself better. And...I was thinking how death is the one thing which still makes me cringe. I think I can handle anything that life can throw at me... and then... things like this make me realize how utterly powerless I am.
Love Actually
Well.. I was watching Dil Chahta hain again.....today...and...yeah..it was definitely worth it. This movie brings out some special feelings in me. Especially as Aamir Khan so reminds me of my once upon a time best friend (Srinath). I wonder......where life will take us. Anyway... watching it and listening to the song "Jaane kyon log pyaar karte hain" (Wonder why people fall in love)...made me remember this line from the movie: Amelie.In it, the Bar owner (a lady) tells Amelie something to this effect “Recipe for love: combine two regulars; let them simmer (and you have love).” Interesting logic... and often I wonder... isnt that all that love is. After all, not everyone is perfect... but so many ppl have so many good things in them that it really isnt too hard to fall in love with them.
I also wonder why I think so much about love nowadays. Is it because I have so much time on my hands? I dont know. Maybe thats the reason. Maybe I shld work more.
Oh well. time to sleep.
Mohan.
I also wonder why I think so much about love nowadays. Is it because I have so much time on my hands? I dont know. Maybe thats the reason. Maybe I shld work more.
Oh well. time to sleep.
Mohan.
Friday, July 09, 2004
Quizzes
Well.. I was bored... so..I took a bunch of quizzes on quizilla. Here are a few of the more interesting results
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
Are you in love?
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I almost feel gay at this point. Hmmm. Whateverrrr!!! And oh my.... I have a mysterious kiss!!! Mwuahahahahahaha. Maybe..... I need some experience....Hmmmmmmm gotta find me a bakri
Well.. guess sleep also muddles up my brain. I slept forever. Went to work.. came back.. and saw Raghu still sleeping (at 11:30 am) so...I went back to sleep too!! Woke up at 2:30 am with a start... and decided to wake up Raghu too. Lunch: One nice peach and a few choco chip cookies!!!!!! So... yeah... I am NOT gay...Happily not gay... yeah....
I came to this country thinking I would never change....
and yet... today....I realized...I have changed more than most.
I have become something I thought I couldnt be
... I have become me
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
Are you in love?
You are not in love but you are not not in love,you are trying to find things about the world and want to find that woderful one but you cant find what you are looking for GOOD LUCK
What kind of kiss are you?
You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.
brought to you by Quizilla
I almost feel gay at this point. Hmmm. Whateverrrr!!! And oh my.... I have a mysterious kiss!!! Mwuahahahahahaha. Maybe..... I need some experience....Hmmmmmmm gotta find me a bakri
Well.. guess sleep also muddles up my brain. I slept forever. Went to work.. came back.. and saw Raghu still sleeping (at 11:30 am) so...I went back to sleep too!! Woke up at 2:30 am with a start... and decided to wake up Raghu too. Lunch: One nice peach and a few choco chip cookies!!!!!! So... yeah... I am NOT gay...Happily not gay... yeah....
I came to this country thinking I would never change....
and yet... today....I realized...I have changed more than most.
I have become something I thought I couldnt be
... I have become me
love ballad
I was reading another story by Hermann Hesse.... called Chagrin d'Amour...
it tells a tale of a poor troubadour knight... who falls in love with and tries to joust for the hand of Princess Herzeloyde in marriage. He fails miserably.....and at the end... is asked to sing at the ball in honor of the victor. Here.. he sings his love ballad which he had composed earlier for his love.... but adds two lines at the end:
"Plaisir d'amour ne dure qu'on moment
Chagrin d'amour dure toute la vie"
So..I googled for a translation ... and this is what it said...
"The joys of love are but a moment long
The pain of love endures the whole life long"
Hmmm.....the pain of love. Somehow.. this doesnt seem right to me. To me... love is immortal. And it is always joyous. Even if the love be unrequited. The very ability to love.... is what keeps me happy.
And love.... to me...is not just about the person I want to make my life partner. I feel immense love for my family and my friends. The fact that they exist is enough for me to love them. Somehow... words fail me at this time. Maybe I should put in more effort and study for my GRE.
Well.. as I said... I do not believe in the pain of love. Love...and the ability to love...is what makes us and keeps us happy:).
it tells a tale of a poor troubadour knight... who falls in love with and tries to joust for the hand of Princess Herzeloyde in marriage. He fails miserably.....and at the end... is asked to sing at the ball in honor of the victor. Here.. he sings his love ballad which he had composed earlier for his love.... but adds two lines at the end:
"Plaisir d'amour ne dure qu'on moment
Chagrin d'amour dure toute la vie"
So..I googled for a translation ... and this is what it said...
"The joys of love are but a moment long
The pain of love endures the whole life long"
Hmmm.....the pain of love. Somehow.. this doesnt seem right to me. To me... love is immortal. And it is always joyous. Even if the love be unrequited. The very ability to love.... is what keeps me happy.
And love.... to me...is not just about the person I want to make my life partner. I feel immense love for my family and my friends. The fact that they exist is enough for me to love them. Somehow... words fail me at this time. Maybe I should put in more effort and study for my GRE.
Well.. as I said... I do not believe in the pain of love. Love...and the ability to love...is what makes us and keeps us happy:).
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Lazy people
Looks like ppl are too lazy to even give a recommendation on what kind of facial hair I should go for:(. Sad. Sad AND Lazy. And IF YOU DID NOT KNOW. I am asking for recommendations on what kind of moustache/ french beard/ goatie to grow. Thats why I put up those pics below. No response yet...:| Just leave a message on the tag board to the right.
Oh well. today...I've been really sleepy. I slept early yest night but still got up after 5.5 hrs. Automatically. :| GAH. and I have been sleepy all day. Am falling asleep now.... so shall bid my blog gnite.
Mohan.
Oh well. today...I've been really sleepy. I slept early yest night but still got up after 5.5 hrs. Automatically. :| GAH. and I have been sleepy all day. Am falling asleep now.... so shall bid my blog gnite.
Mohan.
CRY
My friend was telling me about cry. Child Relief and You. He told me that he had donated to it. Maybe I should too.... seems like a worthy enough cause:)
I was perusing my friend's blog when I came across these words " Row row row my boat, life is but a dream.."
I always have had this rhyme in my head... and I have rarely remembered the entire rhyme. Somehow I could never remember the line "gently down the stream". Well..so ... as always...I googled.. and here is the rhyme.
maybe I should be inspired by it.
" Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream."
Speaking of this... I have often wondered ... are authors really that great to think through every interpretation ...of their writing. I somehow feel... very often... writers write with a pretty superficial motive. Especially male authors. There will be some basis / underlying reasoning. However.... the writing may just turn out to have some deep meaning. But then again...for one who is searching for something in a book... he or she can find it even in the crappiest tabloid if needed. Just something I have wondered.... just like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.... depth, in a book, is in the mind of the reader... but rarely in the actual writing of the author.
well.. need to get some sleep tonight atleast. Been soo deprived of sleep that I have behaved pretty drunk (thats what they say...right??... lack of sleep is similar to being drunk. Aah!!{*enlightenment strikes*} No wonder I am always high ... and to think I thought I was high on life!!)
Also... I'm planning to grow my moustache back again. Any comments? Suggestions? Should I go for a french beard? a goatie again? do put a message in the box to the right.
Tada
Mohan.
I was perusing my friend's blog when I came across these words " Row row row my boat, life is but a dream.."
I always have had this rhyme in my head... and I have rarely remembered the entire rhyme. Somehow I could never remember the line "gently down the stream". Well..so ... as always...I googled.. and here is the rhyme.
maybe I should be inspired by it.
" Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream."
Speaking of this... I have often wondered ... are authors really that great to think through every interpretation ...of their writing. I somehow feel... very often... writers write with a pretty superficial motive. Especially male authors. There will be some basis / underlying reasoning. However.... the writing may just turn out to have some deep meaning. But then again...for one who is searching for something in a book... he or she can find it even in the crappiest tabloid if needed. Just something I have wondered.... just like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.... depth, in a book, is in the mind of the reader... but rarely in the actual writing of the author.
well.. need to get some sleep tonight atleast. Been soo deprived of sleep that I have behaved pretty drunk (thats what they say...right??... lack of sleep is similar to being drunk. Aah!!{*enlightenment strikes*} No wonder I am always high ... and to think I thought I was high on life!!)
Also... I'm planning to grow my moustache back again. Any comments? Suggestions? Should I go for a french beard? a goatie again? do put a message in the box to the right.
Tada
Mohan.
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Misguided Youth..??
Whenever I think of something to blog...I just go to google.. and put in some words... and search for links....that I think are worthwile. Today...I came up with this nice short story.... very well written one... by W Somerset Maugham. You can read it by clicking on the title.
However, the reason I came across the story was because I was searching for the words "Mr. Know All". Hmm.. If you have been following my blog, you may know that I have come to respect and admire Herman Hesse. So, I got a book containing short stories written by him during his lifetime. One such story is "The Marble Works". It is a love story...written in the first person. Well.. it begins with the narrator enjoying a 2 month vacation lazing away in the countryside. He is a 24 year old guy. And this one sentence he said struck me.
"I looked on benevolently, and approved the joy of the children, peasants and young girls with all my heart, confident that I understood these people through and through".
And yet.... by the end of the book... he sort of appears to not have understood them at all. Well, the reason this struck me was because, of late, I have had this feeling too. Of being happy for no reason. Of falling in love with the world. And I have been feeling that all is right with the world because I understand it all. Thats why I post this blog the way I do. And thats why my mom keeps telling me I shouldnt be so sure.... as somehow, I may reveal my vulnerabilities which may result in be getting hurt. Something which I feel cannot happen. As I will understand the reason why someone will do it.. and ensure that I dont have that failing!! But wait... wasnt that what the narrator felt too?? Hmmm.... especially since I have felt such a close bond with Herman Hesse and his writings. Books like his Siddhartha have captivated me for they put into words...what I know in my heart.
Maybe I am reading too much into this story. But...I wonder... am I as infallible as I think I am? Am I as happy as I think I am? Gah.. thats too much thinking and I am in no mood to do that. Especially as I have had only 2.5 hrs of sleep as I was working to fix my blog which wasnt working properly in Internet Explorer!!!
And..oh yes.... I now have a tag board that u can use to post messages for me. And a Google search bar too.. (though my blog isnt archived as much as I want it to be).
Take care people... and be well:)
Mohan.
However, the reason I came across the story was because I was searching for the words "Mr. Know All". Hmm.. If you have been following my blog, you may know that I have come to respect and admire Herman Hesse. So, I got a book containing short stories written by him during his lifetime. One such story is "The Marble Works". It is a love story...written in the first person. Well.. it begins with the narrator enjoying a 2 month vacation lazing away in the countryside. He is a 24 year old guy. And this one sentence he said struck me.
"I looked on benevolently, and approved the joy of the children, peasants and young girls with all my heart, confident that I understood these people through and through".
And yet.... by the end of the book... he sort of appears to not have understood them at all. Well, the reason this struck me was because, of late, I have had this feeling too. Of being happy for no reason. Of falling in love with the world. And I have been feeling that all is right with the world because I understand it all. Thats why I post this blog the way I do. And thats why my mom keeps telling me I shouldnt be so sure.... as somehow, I may reveal my vulnerabilities which may result in be getting hurt. Something which I feel cannot happen. As I will understand the reason why someone will do it.. and ensure that I dont have that failing!! But wait... wasnt that what the narrator felt too?? Hmmm.... especially since I have felt such a close bond with Herman Hesse and his writings. Books like his Siddhartha have captivated me for they put into words...what I know in my heart.
Maybe I am reading too much into this story. But...I wonder... am I as infallible as I think I am? Am I as happy as I think I am? Gah.. thats too much thinking and I am in no mood to do that. Especially as I have had only 2.5 hrs of sleep as I was working to fix my blog which wasnt working properly in Internet Explorer!!!
And..oh yes.... I now have a tag board that u can use to post messages for me. And a Google search bar too.. (though my blog isnt archived as much as I want it to be).
Take care people... and be well:)
Mohan.
Sambhar and Potato chips
Yayy... I made Sambhar again!!! Sorryyy Vanishing... you werent in town:p.As for all those other ppl I said I would invite....Uhmmm... sorry:(. Oh well.
I made my mom send me the recipe (Instead of just converting her older non-pressure cook recipe)... and yeah... it came out better I should say!! Managed to make a LOTT!! a lot more than I expected;). So.. now... plenty of sambhar. No need to cook again tomm;). I also bought some Lays Potato chips to go with it. Yumm... reminded me of days gone by....In India... when all I ate was Sambhar and Potato chips . Sambhar and potato fry has always been my favouritest food. When i came here, my aunt told my cousin... it's no problem cooking for Mohan... make him Sambhar and potato fry and he'll be happy;) Hehehe. I dont know for how long I have loved it... but I somehow NEVER get tired of it!!
But then again... my variety of Sambhar is very different from other ppls ideas of Sambhar.. as is often the case with many Indian recipes... hehehe.
Be warned. Sambhar can result in extremely strong and dangerous odour emanations from guilty parties.
Other than that...Just slept in...and went shopping.
Back to work tomm.
Ohhh yeahh
TJ said he may drop in sometime next weekend. :D Looking forward to meeting him.
I made my mom send me the recipe (Instead of just converting her older non-pressure cook recipe)... and yeah... it came out better I should say!! Managed to make a LOTT!! a lot more than I expected;). So.. now... plenty of sambhar. No need to cook again tomm;). I also bought some Lays Potato chips to go with it. Yumm... reminded me of days gone by....In India... when all I ate was Sambhar and Potato chips . Sambhar and potato fry has always been my favouritest food. When i came here, my aunt told my cousin... it's no problem cooking for Mohan... make him Sambhar and potato fry and he'll be happy;) Hehehe. I dont know for how long I have loved it... but I somehow NEVER get tired of it!!
But then again... my variety of Sambhar is very different from other ppls ideas of Sambhar.. as is often the case with many Indian recipes... hehehe.
Be warned. Sambhar can result in extremely strong and dangerous odour emanations from guilty parties.
Other than that...Just slept in...and went shopping.
Back to work tomm.
Ohhh yeahh
TJ said he may drop in sometime next weekend. :D Looking forward to meeting him.
Monday, July 05, 2004
Indianapolis Extravaganza
Pushkar decided to take his car out... and so we all went to Indianapolis to watch the fireworks. So... Pushkar, Manasi, Borna and I set out.... So.. we reach downtown much earlier than the fireworks...so.. we decided to get food... at some mongolian barbeque place...s'posed to be really good.
So.. we start driving there...get lost for a while... and finally reach that place...at 8:45. Then we realize the fireworks must be starting...so we start back towards downtown...and then.. we realize that the fireworks start at 9...not 9:30 (We called Raghu who had arrived back from Chicago)..
So...ultimately.. we ended up stopping by the side of a road... and seeing a few fireworks in the distance.. and some closer by... which some guys were setting off in some parking lots... so.. saw those.. and drove back to eat. The place was empty... but the food was good. Worth the cost I thought.
Then... came back.... and TJ called!! Said he may come down. Havent seen that fellow in soo long. And he isnt going back to Korea yet...for Military service... so..thats cool!!
Hmm.. that was my day. Interesting ehh??;). :p
Ohh yes... I also managed to destroy my 2nd comp while trying to fix it:|. Or atleast I think I have. Have to fiddle with it some more....
Well... havent read anything all weekend. Just been online a lott. There have been these stretches when I have felt sooo lonely... especially with raghu away... and then.. all of a sudden... chat with 4-5 ppl at once!!.. overwhelming!! But funn!!:D:D
awright... this is Mohan Rokkam...signin off
So.. we start driving there...get lost for a while... and finally reach that place...at 8:45. Then we realize the fireworks must be starting...so we start back towards downtown...and then.. we realize that the fireworks start at 9...not 9:30 (We called Raghu who had arrived back from Chicago)..
So...ultimately.. we ended up stopping by the side of a road... and seeing a few fireworks in the distance.. and some closer by... which some guys were setting off in some parking lots... so.. saw those.. and drove back to eat. The place was empty... but the food was good. Worth the cost I thought.
Then... came back.... and TJ called!! Said he may come down. Havent seen that fellow in soo long. And he isnt going back to Korea yet...for Military service... so..thats cool!!
Hmm.. that was my day. Interesting ehh??;). :p
Ohh yes... I also managed to destroy my 2nd comp while trying to fix it:|. Or atleast I think I have. Have to fiddle with it some more....
Well... havent read anything all weekend. Just been online a lott. There have been these stretches when I have felt sooo lonely... especially with raghu away... and then.. all of a sudden... chat with 4-5 ppl at once!!.. overwhelming!! But funn!!:D:D
awright... this is Mohan Rokkam...signin off
Sunday, July 04, 2004
4th of July....Independence day??
Today is the day that the United States of America achieved independence from Britain... all those years ago... 1776.....quite a long time ehh. And today.... Britain seems to almost be a slave of the Uniited States of America. The land of the free they call it. I dont know.... maybe it was the difference in my social status here...... what with being a poor international student.... and all... but I feel that I am not that free here compared to India. Or maybe that is just because I dont know how to take advantage of the system here;)
India has it's disadvantages... corruption... evil people... eve teasers... and all.... but somehow... maybe it's just coz I am more comfortable at home... and India's my home. The astrologer claims that I will settle abroad... but I dont want to do that. But then again.... always ... whatever I do.. happens to be the thing I dont want to do. I never wanted to come to the US. I would scold my cousins and relatives (I was a pretty precocious kid) .. and tell them to return to India. And now... here I am... in this country. I dont always regret my decision... but I still feel that my heart belongs in India. My thoughts... my ideals... my behaviour. I have never wanted to change my behaviour to fit in here... not change my accent.... nothing. I hope that I can go back home....
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
"A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery."
-James Joyce
And no...I am not the guy to read and remember quotations. I just googled for some words.. and came across these.Just thought they are some things I agree with.. and which are valid in the context of my muddled up blog:)
Mohan.
India has it's disadvantages... corruption... evil people... eve teasers... and all.... but somehow... maybe it's just coz I am more comfortable at home... and India's my home. The astrologer claims that I will settle abroad... but I dont want to do that. But then again.... always ... whatever I do.. happens to be the thing I dont want to do. I never wanted to come to the US. I would scold my cousins and relatives (I was a pretty precocious kid) .. and tell them to return to India. And now... here I am... in this country. I dont always regret my decision... but I still feel that my heart belongs in India. My thoughts... my ideals... my behaviour. I have never wanted to change my behaviour to fit in here... not change my accent.... nothing. I hope that I can go back home....
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
"A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery."
-James Joyce
And no...I am not the guy to read and remember quotations. I just googled for some words.. and came across these.Just thought they are some things I agree with.. and which are valid in the context of my muddled up blog:)
Mohan.
Saturday, July 03, 2004
rules of attraction
What does one do if one finds a friend physically attractive... but still thinks of her only as a friend. Conflicts between 2 parts of the mind.... one always scolding the other....one reasons out the falsehood in the other....but the other side is like a naughty kid.... always disobeying orders. Hope I will be able too figure out how to control my thoughts... and my eyes. The worst part is.... the attraction is only physical... nothing else. Hot friends... BAH.
musings
Clive crashed here overnight on his way from Waukesha, Wisc to his relatives place for the long weekend. So... we went out to eat to Khana Khazana for a buffet but somehow...none of us could eat. Then... Borna suggested going to the bars....and we ended going to Harry's as none of us had been there. Ordered some coke which was sooo watered down :|. Fun stuff... what with Raghu hating his drink ("Tastes like shit"), Manasi screwing up her face each time she took a sip of hers, Clive drinking more than half of Manasi's drinks... and most funny.. Borna started getting woozy on half a glass of her drink (and she wanted to go dance after that...so she stopped and drank water... and she had to visit the restroom 4 times!!! Well.. Now... Raghu's gone to Chicago now for the weekend.
now.... need to focus on doing some project work... fixing Pushkar's comp and reading....
You know... coming to Purdue has changed my perspective so much!! I do things I would never have dreamt of in India...
1) the opposite gender. I believe I was never really found girls attractive or interesting till I came here. I 'knew' I was supposed to like girls. at some stage. Just had no .... sense...of it. Well... when I first came here...I felt uncomfortable around girls..to a certain extent. There was an invisible barrier. Somethings my friends would be able to do or say and make it seem totally natural...which I felt so out of place with. Well...times have changed and so have I. Have to see if its for better or for worse. One thing I can say is that now I feel much more comfortable around women...atleast most of the time. Something I doubt I would have achieved to the same extent in India.
2) People!! I have met so many individuals here...I find it amazing .. the diversity of culture ... the difference in views.... the similarities in views too. I find that my views on people have changed...my understanding of them.
3) Life in general. I think my views of life have changed quite a bit. I believe the process started before I got here... but the atmosphere here at Purdue has helped shape a lot of it. Now...I feel I am much more laidback... much more open about myself... and somehow.... I have not a care in this world.
oh well. Hope I am a better human being for what I am.... conflicting personalities.... talkative buffoon...anything I may be...
Mohan.
now.... need to focus on doing some project work... fixing Pushkar's comp and reading....
You know... coming to Purdue has changed my perspective so much!! I do things I would never have dreamt of in India...
1) the opposite gender. I believe I was never really found girls attractive or interesting till I came here. I 'knew' I was supposed to like girls. at some stage. Just had no .... sense...of it. Well... when I first came here...I felt uncomfortable around girls..to a certain extent. There was an invisible barrier. Somethings my friends would be able to do or say and make it seem totally natural...which I felt so out of place with. Well...times have changed and so have I. Have to see if its for better or for worse. One thing I can say is that now I feel much more comfortable around women...atleast most of the time. Something I doubt I would have achieved to the same extent in India.
2) People!! I have met so many individuals here...I find it amazing .. the diversity of culture ... the difference in views.... the similarities in views too. I find that my views on people have changed...my understanding of them.
3) Life in general. I think my views of life have changed quite a bit. I believe the process started before I got here... but the atmosphere here at Purdue has helped shape a lot of it. Now...I feel I am much more laidback... much more open about myself... and somehow.... I have not a care in this world.
oh well. Hope I am a better human being for what I am.... conflicting personalities.... talkative buffoon...anything I may be...
Mohan.
Friday, July 02, 2004
galleries
Hmmm
I've setup a more interactive gallery on my website. People can add their own photographs to it too. Just register on http://galleries.rokkam.com and I will approve ur membership:)
Mohan.
I've setup a more interactive gallery on my website. People can add their own photographs to it too. Just register on http://galleries.rokkam.com and I will approve ur membership:)
Mohan.
Thursday, July 01, 2004
copy cat
Today....I want to share my views on cheating. You may have noticed...I have linked to a site which promotes cheating.... in the heading. That does not mean I endorse it. Cheating is a personal choice... and if you want to do it.. go ahead. Just dont expect me to help or expect me to respect you after that.
There was a time... when I thought... cheating is alright... well..not in exams... but homeworks.... simple stuff... you know... just for the sake of getting points which everyone else will get anyway by cheating. My view changed....one fine day... after I had given a math exam. It was the summer of 2001 and I had taken some pretty easy courses. My roommate was in the very same classes as me and so we would take turns in doing homeworks. To me... this was just convenient. I tried to understand most of what I was copying...but if I didnt understand something...oh well..too bad!! One of the courses was my intro to Circuit Analysis (EE201 for those who know anything abt EE courses at Purdue). I know that my basics in that course were very poor. Sure I ended up with an A. But I still had to struggle through the course. And I blame it on not doing my homework all by myself.
Well.... one person's comments influenced me that fine day after my math exam. He was an acquaintance of mine.... an ABCD ( American Born Indian) in popular terms... and he was pissed off as another guy (also an Indian) had tried to cheat off him in the final. He told me something to the effect : "When you cheat... you would be getting credit for something you have not done yourself. How can you accept credit for that which is not yours". I tried to explain to him and myself that copying homeworks was alright... as it was a small thing... worth few points..etc... and then I realized... it just wasnt right. No matter what.
Since that day, I have, to the best of my abilities, controlled any urges to cheat ... even if it is a small thing. Maybe I am an idealist. But I believe that any change that one expects in society should begin with oneself. I have argued with friends over this. Some tell me... it is alright to copy. After all.. everyone else does... You will just be putting yourself at a disadvantage. And my only counter argument is... It is NOT my work. I do not deserve ANY points for it. Simple. So what if the average is higher because people copied? So what if that changes my grade from an A to a B..or even a C. It was my fault for not having done better. I believe that, in the end, I will lead a happier life as I will have no lies to cover up...
That is one of the reasons why I keep my blog so personal even though it is open to the world. I want to make my life an open book. I dont want to have anything to hide from this world. And I dont want to be ashamed of anything I do. If I am going to be ashamed of anything I do.....it simply means that I should never do it. Thats my philosophy to leading a happy life:):)
Do leave comments..... I have a fair idea of all the people who visit this blog....so... yeah... I wont be surprised and I would really like to get some feedback. or u can always MSN me @ mrokkam at hotmail- dott com or email me to mrokkam |at| gmail dott com
Mohan.
There was a time... when I thought... cheating is alright... well..not in exams... but homeworks.... simple stuff... you know... just for the sake of getting points which everyone else will get anyway by cheating. My view changed....one fine day... after I had given a math exam. It was the summer of 2001 and I had taken some pretty easy courses. My roommate was in the very same classes as me and so we would take turns in doing homeworks. To me... this was just convenient. I tried to understand most of what I was copying...but if I didnt understand something...oh well..too bad!! One of the courses was my intro to Circuit Analysis (EE201 for those who know anything abt EE courses at Purdue). I know that my basics in that course were very poor. Sure I ended up with an A. But I still had to struggle through the course. And I blame it on not doing my homework all by myself.
Well.... one person's comments influenced me that fine day after my math exam. He was an acquaintance of mine.... an ABCD ( American Born Indian) in popular terms... and he was pissed off as another guy (also an Indian) had tried to cheat off him in the final. He told me something to the effect : "When you cheat... you would be getting credit for something you have not done yourself. How can you accept credit for that which is not yours". I tried to explain to him and myself that copying homeworks was alright... as it was a small thing... worth few points..etc... and then I realized... it just wasnt right. No matter what.
Since that day, I have, to the best of my abilities, controlled any urges to cheat ... even if it is a small thing. Maybe I am an idealist. But I believe that any change that one expects in society should begin with oneself. I have argued with friends over this. Some tell me... it is alright to copy. After all.. everyone else does... You will just be putting yourself at a disadvantage. And my only counter argument is... It is NOT my work. I do not deserve ANY points for it. Simple. So what if the average is higher because people copied? So what if that changes my grade from an A to a B..or even a C. It was my fault for not having done better. I believe that, in the end, I will lead a happier life as I will have no lies to cover up...
That is one of the reasons why I keep my blog so personal even though it is open to the world. I want to make my life an open book. I dont want to have anything to hide from this world. And I dont want to be ashamed of anything I do. If I am going to be ashamed of anything I do.....it simply means that I should never do it. Thats my philosophy to leading a happy life:):)
Do leave comments..... I have a fair idea of all the people who visit this blog....so... yeah... I wont be surprised and I would really like to get some feedback. or u can always MSN me @ mrokkam at hotmail- dott com or email me to mrokkam |at| gmail dott com
Mohan.
Kafka ... here I come
Well...I have finally finished Steppenwolf. The second half of the book... was much easier for me to comprehend... and I managed to finish it in good time. And more importantly...it still made sense:):):)
and yet... I dont know if I should agree with it...or disagree with it...I think parts of me agree with parts of the book.... and other parts disagree with parts of the book. Hmm.....making me into too many parts;)
Well...onto kafka I go. Wonder what kind of stories he writes...
Oh...yeah....I bought a little tub of Godiva chocolate ice cream for myself. In one of my earlier visits to my cousins place in Chicago, I was introduced to this marvellous sin when I would eat the ice cream...little by little..... while browsing the net...late at night...and pretty soon...the entire tub was empty. Ohh....that sweet taste. Only thing to note is that it tastes best when eaten in small quantities:D
Kafka and Godiva..... yeahhhh baby YEAHH.
Mohan.
and yet... I dont know if I should agree with it...or disagree with it...I think parts of me agree with parts of the book.... and other parts disagree with parts of the book. Hmm.....making me into too many parts;)
Well...onto kafka I go. Wonder what kind of stories he writes...
Oh...yeah....I bought a little tub of Godiva chocolate ice cream for myself. In one of my earlier visits to my cousins place in Chicago, I was introduced to this marvellous sin when I would eat the ice cream...little by little..... while browsing the net...late at night...and pretty soon...the entire tub was empty. Ohh....that sweet taste. Only thing to note is that it tastes best when eaten in small quantities:D
Kafka and Godiva..... yeahhhh baby YEAHH.
Mohan.
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