Something New

Well,

Reading War and Peace, arranging e-books, coding a wee li'l bit, sleeping forever. these have been some of my pastimes over the past few days. I now have a book to read... that I am looking forward to.. 'Treasury of Short stories'. It includes authors from around five centuries from all over the British Commonwealth (yes folks.. the Commonwealth... that once upon a time British Empire.. upon which, it was said, that the sun never set (i.e. "The sun never sets on the British Empire"). It starts off with a prose version of a poem by Chaucer .. and continues on with other magnificent works till recent times. 65 stories in all!! yet, as the intro says, to make an anthology is to place the attention on a few roses while ignoring all the other beautiful flowers of spring that are just as beautiful. But time is short.. and one has to make choices.
Speaking of spring.. is it here yet? It was snowing outside here when I last checked;). However various reports insist that the weather will warm up realll soon. Lets see.
I've been playing a bit with my nieces. And my rusty joints are beginning to creak;). And oh.. been listening to old songs galore. Yesterday, my uncle went down memory lane with www.raaga.com, listening to old songs from his time in India. This uncle was brought up in the US of A .. but he did his medical degree in India. And boy oh boy... he knows his Amitabh Bachchan. Some songs... my cousin hadn't listened to in like 20 years... songs from her teenage years..
songs from Disco Dancer... Silsila, ... Vijay,... etc :-) A bottle of wine ... and nostalgic music. Good Stuff.
And today was movie night along with shopping day. So a day of shopping at the mall for the kids (Outfits for a dance show that they are performing at the temple) followed by "Dude, where's the party" (hilarious movie) and followed by a bit of Cleopatra with Elizabeth Taylor. But then... the old folks and the young ones started falling asleep by midnight.. and the movie was paused.

Ohh totally forgot. I helped my cousin prepare the fish for her "Fish Fry". It came out great (hehehe... all credit to my cousin.. I only helped cut the fish) One niece made this awesome guacamole and another put the rice. And my poor cousin had to supervise us all. hehehe.

A few days ago, I had a dream. It seemed so realistic. 23rd morning... I dreamt a dream.. with my grandfather in it. He passed away in 2001, a few months after I came here. But he seemed so alive. His birthday's on the 20th of May. But somehow... in my dream, we ran up to him and wished him a happy belated birthday (we = my cousins and I). And we celebrated it. As we used to in days past. with a cake.. and balloons.. and all. It was a nice happy dream.. with a sad twist. Don't really remember it that well now.

"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking." and now I am tired of thinking...

Back

So....I finally finished the book last night. :-p. yeah. I just couldn't keep reading. The last few dozen pages was a lot of philosophizing... and Tolstoy just could not keep it as interesting as the rest of the book. I got an impression of someone forcing his views down my gullet which I didn't like. Anyways... considering that I finished the book, I should give a review. But I won't. War and Peace... go read it yourself:-p

I also found a page of one liners and added some of the ones I liked at the top of this page. The box refreshes every 30 seconds. So, u see a new thingie every 30 seconds. Quite a few over there....enjoy them. I had to figure out some coding to put the box there... but so kool!!!
:-)

that's where I was 'wasting' time instead of reading war and peace;)
the link for that page with one liners is under the related link

Page Count

Well,
I shall not post any more till I finish this book (famous last words??)

I mean... this is one book where I am actually using a book mark .. instead of just remembering where I left off...

ok.. I will edit this post as and when I read more

Latest count
1400/1444(44 pages left)(5am? ...too sleepy)

1353/1444(91 pages left)(8:45 pm)
1273/1444(171 pages left) (4:55am)
1220/1444 (224 pages left)
1168/1444 (276 pages left)

Slow Poke

I am totally, completely, absolutely disgusted with myself. I am reading War and Peace SO slowly.... barely a few dozen pages a day. And it isn't because the book isn't interesting. It's a nice plot line. Not quick paced.... but nice. And I don't completely agree with Tolstoy's way of putting his arguments.... but oh well, that's what makes the book more interesting. What I do instead... is arrrange.. and rearrange.. the ebook collection that I got now (though I doubt that I would be able to read all those books in my lifetime). And then... I go chat for a bit. And play with nieces... and woah... by the end of it... I barely get to read much. Darned I am slow. I need to make more time for it.
So.. I have set a goal. another 300 or so pages. I should finish it by ... say.. tomorrow. How does that sound? Good. That's my aim then.

Also saw Dodgeball yesterday. Lost a few braincells but I have to admire Ben Stiller's genius. I mean, it really takes genius to figure out how to give off an impression of being dumb. Yeah... (I know I know.. blondes have been doing it forever).
Well... it's a pretty good movie. Supposed to be PG13 but it's not really that clean a movie:-p.

Back to lunch and my book:)

Defining intelligence

yesterday...I started this post ... and then the computer hung. At that time, I was especially in the mood to write it. However, I will try to recreate it to some extent.

Well, I always wonder whether I am intelligent, or if it is just a thing of my ego. I was always a pretty good performer. School... intermediate (grades 11 and 12) and college. I did seem to have deteriorated throughout .. but it may have also been because I kept coming across better competition.
Now, I do believe that I give off this aura of being smart. People think I am smart. but am I really as smart as I behave? That I do not know. I do know that I need some kind of motivation to work. The last one year, I feel as if I have not done much brain work. My brain feels as if it is degenerating. Mainly because my classes last sem were pretty simple.. nothing compared to the earlier semesters. Reading is not really that much brain work.... so I am kinda bored. But then again, I do need motivation to work.
There was this time in a psych class that I felt that I perfectly fit a particular case. This was of people who wantedly sabotage their chances....so that they have an excuse for their bad performance. Maybe not study enough for a test. So, if I perform well, it is because I am smart...and if I didn't, well, I didn't work hard enough.
And then came the rejection letter from Stanford. Now, Stanford has been a dream college for me. I always wanted to go there. Even before my undergrad. So, it was a small jolt, though an expected jolt. However, rejection from Stanford may have been a blessing in disguise. I had applied for a PhD at Stanford .. but i am not sure if I could handle a PhD. So, yeah. At least, now I can plan for other things, now that Stanford has said no.

So.. I wondered if I could be considered intelligent. So very often, I feel like a fraud. And I took a few IQ tests. haha.. yeah.. one of Those!! www.iqtest.com , www.tickle.com, and even a test on mensa.org

iqtest.com: IQ of 156 (genius... less than 1% of test takers). I had taken this test a few months ago.. and I got a score of 149... (they then said it was equivalent to some profs / researchers or something.)
HAH!!

tickle.com: score of 133 on both the the IQ and the super IQ test. On top of that, they tell me
"The way you think about things makes you a Complex Intellectual. This means you are highly intelligent and have extraordinarily strong verbal and math skills. Compared to others you are a highly conceptual and complex thinker and are able to understand information in an abstract form. You also show great attention to detail. In fact, it's hard to find something you're not good at. Hahahahahahaahahaha

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of a Complex Intellectual? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Complex Intellectual. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities."

I feel Special

Ok... so... these made me feel better. But I was like... what's the use.
so I went to a mensa test. I managed to get 23 correct out of 30. That IS pretty good they told me!!
So.. well.. maybe I am decently smart. Hmmm. I do feel better..in a sense.
but how do I become better? I do think I need better goals. and I need to work harder. But laziness and lack of motivation slow me down. But not enough I do believe:)

Short Stories

When I was in school, I loved reading. The day before school started, when we went and bought our text books, my mom, my sister and I would each grab hold of one of the many english and non-detailed books that we bought for our classes, and finish them up one by one. Ahh the fights for who gets to read what first.
So Much Fun.
That was when I fell in love with short stories.
Reading Jeffrey Archer's short stories is taking me back to those days. And of course, there are so many touching short stories
Old Love
Colonel Bullfrog
The Hungarian Professor
Christina Rosenthal
Clean Sweep Ignatius
The Century
A La Carte
... are some of my favourites from this book.
of course.. there are many more.
One of my fav short stories of all times...
is "After Twenty Years" by O'Henry (William Sidney Porter)
Another is "God sees the truth but waits" by Leo Tolstoy

well... do read them if you can. I am off to finish up this book. (The Collected Short Stories - Jeffrey Archer)

Edited to add links to stories

Read a bye baby

Well,
As I don't really have anything much to do except wait, and since the weather does not really encourage much outdoor exploration, I have set myself onto something that I really enjoy. reading.

So, I have been reading for the past few days. Not that I ever really stopped reading. But now, I read almost all day. I have finished half of "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy....
read The Great Gatsby
reading short stories by Jeffrey Archer, short stories that won the O'henry prize. I also have a bunch of e-books that I intend to read soon. I found a lot of them on www.manybooks.net where you can find a lot of books that were published in the 1920's or earlier as they don't really have much of a copyright problem. I also found a website called www.fictionlib.ru that has some nice books.

I was discussing books with this other friend, who happens to be an English Literature major, and I realized that there were a lot of books that I had read as a child. But I hadn't read read the books. I had read a lot of them without really appreciating them. And the more he analyzed some books, the more I felt I should read those again. in fact, any book that I haven't read in at least the past 3 years should be fair game.

so, right now, I am into the classics. Lets see how much I can read:)

Slap me stupid

yeah.. slap me stupid if I dawdle around and end up at the same subject every time

my nieces sold me 6 boxes of girl scout cookies (Though my cousin just ended up paying for them herself).
I ate half a box of thin mints. And the rest stare at me accusingly ... as I haven't tasted them yet.
Taste me... each box says.
I have managed to hold out for a day and a half now.
How much longer?

God give me the strength to deny myself such delicious and tasty and sweet (I see some resolutions crumbling again)
Ahhh... soft cookies that crumble in your mouth....
darn.
God Give me strength to exercise so that I can afford to eat these cookies

yeah
amen

Explaining myself

People say that one does not need to explain oneself. But I have often felt this urge to explain myself. Atleast some parts of me.
Power Corrupts
Some of the most profound lessons I have learnt are from my servant maid's son. This dude was my play buddy when I was in my lower grades since I didn't really have many friends in the area. My friends never came over, and I never sought friends outside of school. However, since he was the servant maid's son, I often bossed over him. Or tried to. This led to resentment in the dude... which I can never forget. I called him proud and arrogant, and yet I admired him for his spunk. And we had fun. He probably liked my company too coz I was a rich guy (relatively) playing with him. Over time, I grew up... got busy with my education and other friends. He was around and came to meet me once in a while, but now, the relationship was much more formal. The important thing for me, that I learnt how power corrupts. I would often demand that he do something and I would get mad if he didn't do it. Today, I can look back and laugh at my behaviour. But, at the same time, I see such acts in real life. Many people, powerful people, NATIONS.. all behave in the same way. But forcing someone to do something never works. Just give them what they need and they will do anything for you. In the case of the servants, force didn't work, not really. It took me a while to realize it, but when I did realize it, I understood that what they needed was respect. And I understood that they deserved it. (Of course.. there are limitations on everything, and one has to be careful not to be fooled and one has to maintain some amount of reserve to be able to command respect back.. blah blah blah)

Love is a need
You know, before I wrote this next set down, I wondered whether I should write it down like this. This scientific kind of analysis of love is not really nice. It removes the magic and the fireworks that surround love. But it's the only way I can explain my behaviour. So, here it is...
Yes I am in love. But love is also a need. Just like friendship. I need company, I need a soulmate. Hence, the need for love is especially high now. I have time on my hands, and little company. Hence love will be higher in my mind than normal. But, thats not why I am in love. I am in love because I find something in her that I really like. I have time on my hands, so I tried to analyze what I liked about her. Some things are apparent. some aren't.
So, the facts are
1) I like her very much
2) I know some of the things that make me like her

now, I also know that she may or may not like me. I cannot force her to do something. All I can do is love her. But I also believe in not destroying myself. So, I am also always looking for those characteristics that I like in a person.
See, in a perfect world (for me), things would be just that... perfect. But this world is not perfect. So, what can I expect from it? Nothing .. right? So, I love her... and I leave it at that. If I ever find someone else, so be it.. I will still love her, simply because of what she is.

Some people think that I am becoming depressed. News comes back to me that people say "He was a good guy. What is happening to him now?". It's interesting to me. I know I go through kind of mood swings. there are times when I get a bit down. But in the long run, I am happy:). That's my goal in life right? ;)

Ok. My nieces are around and I don't think I can write much more...gotta play with them. maybe next time:)

blood donation and more

Well, yesterday, as I was walking through PMU, I saw that they were accepting blood donations. Now, I have always wanted to donate blood. But EACH and every time there was a blood drive nearby, I had an exam the very next day. So, I thought..ok I am going to donate blood. I walk in, fill up a bunch of paperwork and approach the nurse. She goes through it and says... when did you get back from India. I say.. March 20th, 2004. She's like.. uhmmm I think you have to come back after that date as you have to be in the US for 1 year.
I was like... whaaa?? I mean. 1 year... it's been 11 months and 1 week. Oh well. I didn't say all that. I quietly said ok, took the EXTRA LARGE T-shirt she offered me and walked out. (P.S. Why do I always get free T-shirts that are too large for me??).

I mean, I mustered up courage.. and they turned me down. Nothing I could do

In other news, my faith in people just went up. My friend lost his phone and since we are on a family plan, I called att to find out if I could suspend his line till he got a replacement.
1st rep: puts me on hold all of a sudden, and just hands it to a different rep
2nd rep: nice.. but tells me that the other line was the main line (Though I added it later...some goof up someplace), and so both phones would be suspended. Any question I asked got the standard response: "Unfortunately, no sir, we cannot do anything about that"
I asked for her to call her supervisor. She puts me on hold for 10 mins, and comes back saying her supervisor says I should take another plan temporarily without free nights and weekends and a whole bunch of other crap
Then, I call her super.
3rd rep: Just as bad. No interest in solving my problem.
I say, ok, will discuss with friend and call back regarding new sim etc.

4th rep: Nice and sweeeeet!!! She said she could give me free nights and weekends without extending my contract!! Something the 2nd and 3rd reps refused to do. I mean, she was soo sweet. Even told me that posting the sim would cost me 10 bucks .. which I could save by going to the store.

so.. all said and done... there are good people in this world:)

-Mohan.

Fear

I am afraid of the past
Will it decide to haunt me?
I am afraid of the thought
for it dances out of my reach
I am afraid of my heart
because it never was mine